Harville Hendrix is a trekkie!

Logan Pass, Glacier National Park
Copyright (c) 2008 Wendee Holtcamp

It's funny how the more I write/blog, the more I seem to have to write! Last night I got the privilege of seeing award-winning author and psychologist Harville Hendrix talk about his new book A New Way to Love (Though it's aimed at married people, the principles apply to all romantic relationships). It's the new name for his workshop called Couplehood as a Spiritual Path, which I participated in at my church in the fall - and blogged about here). Hendrix's NYT bestselling book, Getting the Love You Want, was a watershed book in my life. It is literally life-changing in its impact in both the communication exercises and the information contained within its pages (such as info on the therapy he based on his research - Imago).

He was funnier than I thought he would be! Doug and I were cracking up when he showed a video of he and his wife doing the mirroring dialogue where he shared with her a "caring behavior" he appreciated. It was that he appreciated that she would let him just sit in his office and watch... Star Trek. He was like, "When I'm watching Star Trek, I am not just watching. I am ON the ship." The whole audience was cracking up. The thing is, he was serious! But as he continued the dialogue, he talked about how he was an orphan, and he used to have to sneak and hide to have any private time, even to read a book, or his siblings - who raised him after his parents died when he was 6 - would put him to work. And that's the key to the dialogue, that something very simple that you appreciate is often tied to memories from our childhood. Likewise, with the things that trigger us (aka annoy or frustrate us).

I can hardly believe that I have failed to mention that I got to see one of my all-time favorite authors, and a huge personal inspiration to me - Liz Gilbert (author of the bestselling memoir Eat, Pray, Love) talk about her new book Committed at the Alley Theatre. I'd read mixed reviews, and I didn't quite know what to think, but when I heard her speak and heard her read the opening bit of it - I fell in love all over again. It's fantastic, she's hilarious, and I'm reading the book at the gym now (the cost of the event included a copy of her new book). It's about how she was forced to marry by the Office of Homeland Security or her boyfriend "Felipe" (who she met at the end of Eat, Pray, Love) would be deported permanently. Neither of them ever wanted to marry again, so it's the book of her becoming accustomed to the idea, their long path to marriage between a U.S. citizen and a Brazilian with Australian citizenship, and research on the customs of marriage, mostly in the West - though she does include interesting conversations from various other cultures of people who she visits, such as the Hmong in Vietnam. I must say, in the first few chapters I'm already intriguied, and I'm shocked to say that it's starting to change my view on marriage. For example, the church actually shunned marriage for the first several hundred centuries after Christ.

As I am inclined to do, I'm reading about 5 books at a time. I had been reading Anne Lamott's novel Crooked Little Heart at the gym until I got hooked on Committed. A friend gave me Lamott's novel when I visited Portland last December (08) during the big snowstorm, and I decided to read. I'm about 2/3 done and it's ok, not great. Lamott is another one of my all-time favorite authors, but I really like her nonfiction stuff such as Bird by Bird (which I use to teach my Advanced Writing Workshop), and Operating Instructions. I'm also listening to the audio-book of The Shack, which my dad sent me as a gift (I"d sent him the print version last Christmas and he liked it so much, he sent me the audio since I rarely have time to read - though getting my butt back to the gym has given me a bit more real reading time again). The Shack is great, but not as amazing as I'd heard from others, in my opinion.

I have two articles in this month's Texas Parks & Wildlife Magazine (Feb 2010) and they also have a bio and photo of me in the front of the magazine. That's always fun! The two articles include:

Attack of the Killer Fungus:
Will White Nose Syndrome spread to Texas bats?
Soon, the reason why we have all gathered will become apparent. It’s one of nature’s most beautiful and inspiring spectacles — the nighttime emergence of hundreds of thousands of bats. Bat watching, ­particularly in Austin, has become an international phenomenon. But what if all these bats were to vanish?

And I also have a "3 Days in the Field" travel column in the magazine:

German Jewel Destination: Fredericksburg.
How do you show Texas to someone who has been living in the big city and hasn’t seen the Lone Star State’s natural beauty since moving here a couple of years ago? That was my challenge. I picked the Hill Country because of its diversity — waterfalls, bats, rocks for climbing, quaint towns, wine country and good food. We chose Fredericksburg as our home base.

millet and my February resolution

I made my morning breakfast cereal from the millet I cooked in the steamer yesterday, and I'm not too crazy about the texture, honestly. It may be due to the strange way I cooked it (multiple times in the steamer). Being it was my first time cooking it other than tossing it in soup, it well may just be technique. However, I picked up some quinoa (a grain from South America that has no gluten and is SUPER healthy) in bulk at HEB grocery store yesterday ($2 a bag - so cheap!) and tomorrow I'm going this recipe I found - Quinoa-Millet Hot Cereal: A Yoga Inspired breakfast.

What I put on my millet breakfast version this morn: dried blueberries (bought in bulk at HEB - I LOVE Bulk foods!), 1 chopped prune, 1 chopped date, a few chopped pecans cinnamon sprinkles, ground flax seeds, and a touch of maple syrup. I read recently - in Vegetarian Times mag, no big surprise, that pecans have the highest antioxidant level of any nut - and they're the nut I happened to have in my freezer! The flavor of the cereal is good, I only wish it was more gooey like oatmeal, which I love but oats have gluten. So I think the quinoa added to the millet will make it a bit more like oatmeal. We'll see! Later today I'm going to make stir-fried millet using a Zen stir-fried rice recipe. Yummo! Hope it turns out...

I'm off to my Experiencing God bible study this morning. I am really enjoying it. It's only my second week in class, since I missed the first few, but am all caught up in the workbook.

Having successfully achieved what I wanted to with my January clean-purge resolution, I am moving on to my February resolution - work on what comes out of my mouth. I have a lifelong tendency to swear when I'm mad... It waxes and wanes, and often depends on who I hang out with. I'm also sometimes impatient - with myself, with others but to those closest to me... so I'm working on addressing issues calmly and kindly, seeking the Lord in all of these things to draw on His power and strength and not my own. So with that I will leave you with some bible verses I found related to the tongue.

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16: 24

When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. Proverbs 10: 19-20

A fool shows his annoyance at once but a prudent (wo)man overlooks an insult. Proverbs 12:16

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18

He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity. Proverbs 21:23

My dear brothers, take note of this. Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. James 1:19

When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. James 3:3-10

adventures in cooking

It's been a morning of cooking and experimentation! This morn I made an early grocery store run so I could cook the next recipe on my list:
Sesame Roasted Sweet Potato Wedges with Broccoli (also from Vegetarian Times magazine).

But first, I had to juice because I had so many vegetables they would hardly fit in my refrigerator! My juicer was still sitting on my countertop from the Master Cleanse (thank God for Jack Lalanne's juicer! That was one most excellent expenditure). I decided to make Dr. Oz' Green Juice. My friend Gia shared this yummy fresh juice with me, and the recipe, a couple years ago and I've made it before but not in a while. Here's the recipe from Oprah Winfrey's website but I halved it.

2 cups spinach
2 cups cucumber (I just used one cucumber)
1 head of celery
1/2 inch or 1 tsp fresh ginger root
1 bunch parsley
2 apples
juice of 1 lime
juice of 1/2 lemon

You can modify it to taste. I added 4 carrots because that was on the recipe Gia gave me (you can't add too many carrots - they give it a nice sweetness). I omitted the parsley because I didn't have any, and I add more ginger root. For my taste buds, the ginger root really makes the drink. I also accidentally used the full amount of lemon/lime while halving the recipe so it was too lemony this time, but still drinkable. It's "a glass of fresh" according to Dr. Oz! You basically throw it all in a juicer - I don't know any other way! I save the pulp in a freezer bag and use it in the veggie (stone) soup I make.

I also tried to cook some millet in my steamer, but little experiment is proving more difficult than imagined. I have used millet for a couple years, but always in soup. It's a grain that doesn't have gluten (the ingredient in wheat, oats, barley that many people are allergic to or that causes digestive problems). The first time I bought and used it, I was like, this looks like bird seed! Then I realized, this IS bird seed! Yep. Millet is the same little round grain that makes up bird seed. Who knew, it's also good for people! I've never made it as you would simply make say rice, so this was quite an experiment. I read that you should not use water but vegetable or chicken broth or it's hopelessly dull. You can use broth even if you intend to use the grain as a breakfast grain cereal, which I do. I used organic chicken broth because I had some that I got super cheap because it was past expiration (not a big deal in a vacuum-sealed container, at least for me).

Well I looked online and it said you can either boil it on the stove, requiring constant supervision (which I'm awful at) or use a steamer. I have a steamer - wha- la! However I usually cook veggies in it not rice or grain.

So the first time I tried to steam the millet, I poured in 1 cup and it was so small it went right through the holes into the container thingie below... I didn't know if this was ok or not but I went with it. Put it on for 30 min or so. After it was done, I looked and the grain was cooked around the edges of the steamer but not in the middle (you can see that in the above picture - to the left is cooked millet, and the rest is uncooked). Grr.

And when I took the inner basket out I realized the chicken broth had caked onto the bit that heats up the steamer. So I cleaned it off and tried again, using the same grain I just threw it all back in the steamer, but this time I put it in the basket. Maybe that is where grains are actually supposed to go?! I guess I should find the directions... I put more water in (no broth this time) and cooked another 40 minutes. This time more was done but still not all! I added another 20 min to the timer and it's finally all done now! I think the conclusion is that a little millet goes a long way, and I probably put too much volume in there. I have some yummy recipes to make this into brakfast cereal, like adding dried fruit (apricots, prunes, raisins, whatever) and nuts. I will also make a recipe using millet and chopped veggies! Will share, when I do.

Back to the main recipe: Sesame Roasted Sweet Potato Wedges with Broccoli
• 4 cups bite-size broccoli florets, halved lengthwise
• 2 small sweet potatoes, each cut into 16 wedges (1 lb.)
• 6 green onions, each cut into 4 segments
• 3 Tbs. toasted sesame oil, divided
• ¼ tsp. coarse salt
• 2 Tbs. orange juice
• 2 Tbs. low-sodium tamari or soy sauce
• 1 Tbs. rice vinegar
• 1 Tbs. mirin
• 1 Tbs. toasted sesame seeds
• 2 tsp. grated fresh ginger
• 1 clove garlic, minced (1 tsp.)
• 6 cups baby spinach (8 oz.)

1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees F. Place broccoli, sweet potato wedges, and green onions in large bowl. Add 2 Tbs. sesame oil and salt; toss well to coat. Spread vegetables on baking sheet, and roast 20 minutes, turning with spatula 2 or 3 times. Increase oven temperature to 500°F. Roast vegetables 10 minutes more, or until tender and browned.

2. Meanwhile, whisk together orange juice, tamari, rice vinegar, mirin, sesame seeds, ginger, garlic, and remaining 1 Tbs. sesame oil in small bowl. Place spinach in large serving bowl, add roasted vegetables and orange juice mixture, and toss well to mix.

In case you don't know what the heck mirin is, I didn't either! I asked at the grocery store, and discovered mirin is used in Asian cooking and my grocery store sells it over by the fresh sushi, but instead of paying $5 a bottle I decided to look for a substitute. I found that Cooks Thesaurus says 1 Tbsp Mirin = 1 Tbsp dry sherry cooking wine + 1 tsp sugar (I used corn syrup so I didn't have to melt the sugar). You can also use white wine and sugar instead of sherry and sugar.

So how did it turn out? I think my oven cooks high (it's a gas range) and so the broccoli got a bit too browned for my preference but not burnt. I think next time I'll turn down the temp. I sliced the sweet potato wedges about 1/3 inch thick and that turned out to be the perfect thickness as they cooked perfectly in that cooking time. The sauce was delicious! I think my sesame seeds are a bit stale as I've had them in my pantry for years and I finally dragged them out for a recipe! I toasted them in my toaster oven set on the lowest setting (if you put it higher than low, they will burn - I learned this from toasting nuts).

My biggest disapointment was putting the whole thing over spinach. I prefer a saucier veggie mix, and by adding all that spinach you really dilute the flavor of the sauce. It seemed like it was missing something, so I tried adding a few chopped yellow and red bell peppers, but I don't think that went too well with it. So I think overall, this was a 2.5 out of 5. I think if the sesame seeds were not stale, the broccoli didn't get overcooked, and I just put the sauce over the broccoli and sweet potato wedges it would get a 4 or 4.5 out of 5. So I'll have to try again! :) You can learn from my experimentation.


The broccoli and sweet potato wedges in the oven ready to roast!

The final product, over spinach. You can see the yellow and red bell peppers I added into the "salad" -I don't recommend this. I think the veggies would be best with the sauce without salad or anything else. :) If you try it, let me know how it turns out for you!

Endangered Houston toads

Houston toads in the captive breeding program at the Houston Zoo.
Copyright (c) 2010 Wendee Holtcamp

I'm working on an article about Texas' own federally endangered Houston toad. They don't actually live in Houston anymore, but are restricted to a small region of sandy soil habitat north of Houston. A lot of people see Gulf Coast toads all over Houston and think, oh we've got lots of Houston toads! But they're toads in Houston, but not Houston toads! The only Houston toads in Houston are at... the Houston Zoo! And that's exactly where I found myself a couple weeks ago. Biologists there have a captive breeding program, and have started releasing them into the wild over the past couple of years. It's pretty cool stuff. Here are some photos from my trip to the toad quarantine area.

Paul Crump keeps watch over the toads at the zoo.

A row of the toads terrariums.

It looks like he's on stage!

It is almost mating season, and horny toads do what they do best. The females are clearly much larger than the males. This is an "amplexing" male, meaning he grabs the female which stimulates her to release eggs, if she's ready which this gal is clearly not. I also heard a few of the captive toads call!


A few of the toads had gotten infected with a natural fungus found in the environment so they ended up smaller sizes than those that didn't get infected so these guys were kept separate.

It helps to read the recipe first

A Louisiana black bear cub being relocated to a new home
Copyright (c) 2006 Wendee Holtcamp

It helps to read the recipe first, apparently. It's technically transition day, when I'm supposed to have fresh-squeezed orange juice, and the veggie soup only but I couldn't help myself. In the evening, after the gym, I decided to try out a recipe I've been drooling over in the Vegetarian Times magazine, Oct 2009 issue: Chickpea Croquettes with Greek Salad Topping. I don't know what it is about chickpeas, but I have been craving them or days. Yesterday I forgot to mention that in addition to the two almoonds and one raisin, I ate about 6 chickpeas with salt on them. Yum!

I halved the recipe, because it called for one can of chickpeas, and I'd already used a half-can in the veggie soup so I had a half-can in the fridge. It's a good thing I halved it, since although they turned out good, I want to try the recipe using the water, instead of omitting it. They turned out a bit dry, and I think that may have been why...

Here's the recipe:

Greek Salad Topping (I omitted the cheese since I'm transitioning and wanted to use only non-dairy at this point. When I make it again, I am not going to use the vegan feta...but regular). :)

1 cucumber, quartered and sliced (1 cup)
1 cup cherry tomatoes, quartered
2 green onions, chopped
2 Tbs. lemon juice
1 Tbs. olive oil
1/2 cup crumbled low-fat vegan feta cheese, optional

Croquettes

1 cup chickpea flour
2 tsp. ground cumin
1 tsp. chili powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1 15-oz. can chickpeas, rinsed and drained
4 green onions, chopped (1/2 cup)
1/2 cup diced red bell pepper
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley
2 Tbs. lemon juice
1 Tbs. olive oil
2 cloves garlic, minced (2 tsp.)

(I substituted rice flour because I couldn't find chickpea flour in bulk and I already had a bunch of rice flour. I also added a bit of leek because I was so excited about the leek chopping video, I just couldn't help myself. I had to try my newfound skills on the rest of the leek from yesterday. I used the final technique, quartering the leek, and then chopping fine. I also started chopping yellow bell pepper because I had one partly used in the fridge but then felt guilty so used a combo of red and yellow. I diced them up pretty fine but I think it would work better (more flavor detection) with a bit bigger chunks.

Notice there is no mention of 3/4 cup hot water?? Recipes should putthat in the ingredient list! I have a tendency to skim the recipes, so hopefully I'll learn that lesson. I should've learned when I make Elissa's recipe for Beef Burgundy (from Mark's Daily Apple) on Halloween. It apparently had to bake two hours... so we didn't get to eat it until the next day but all the trick or treaters said it smelled amazing!

What you are supposed to do is whisk together the flour, cumin, chili powder and salt in a bowl (I already failed at this point, because I dumped in the chickpeas before stirring the flour and spices. Doh!). Whisk in 3/4 cup hot water (second fail!). Stir in remaining ingredients. Season with salt and pepper. I am using this brand new pepper grinder I got super cheap - like a couple bucks. It already had the pepercorns in it! I never had a peppercorn grinder before. I'm like a kid in a candy store! At any rate, then you put dollops of the mix into a skillet at medium heat coated with cooking spray like you're cooking pancakes. I have switched from cooking sprays to a oil mister, which has the same effect but without the "propellent." I got it 50% off at Randalls grocery store a few weeks ago, and I love it. I use olive oil in it.

Amazingly they cooked just fine, and taste good! Topped with the fresh cucumber and tomato - mmmm. I was slightly disappointed but I think the dryness was part of the problem. There was also a slightly bitter flavor but I think that was because my green onions (which I call chives but technically those are different I guess) are a couple weeks old. I think it will be really good with the feta cheese too! I look forward to trying this next week. I Only ate one small croquette, since it was my first solid food in 13 days, and I have three left over. I'd have made up a sauce or something to make up for the dryness but again only wanted to put pure vegetable stuff (very little fats, no dairy yet) in my body. If you try it, let me know what you think!

foodie blog one

A fence in central Texas at sunset
Copyright (c) 2005 Wendee Holtcamp

After thirteen days drinking a cayenne pepper-lemonade concoction and no food, you'll understand that I've been drooling over food the last few days. I've been reading Vegetarian Times magazines, and creating a list of yummy recipes. I only started doing the cleanse in 2006, which I blogged about in sisterhood of the lemonheads and weirdest place to put cayenne pepper, and I never thought I'd go more than a few days but to my surprise I made it nine days. You're supposed to do a minimum of ten days, but I thought nine was a-ok for me. I've used this cleanse in the past as a way to give up bad food habits, such as my old habit of drinking Diet Coke. I knew aspartame was bad for me, but I was addicted to the stuff. Not anymore! I haven't touched it since that first cleanse in 2006. I had thought I may have a gluten allergy at one point, and I gave up wheat, oats, and all gluten-containing products for over a year by first kick-starting that with the Master Cleanse. It's a good transition to a new healthy food lifestyle. And you lose a few pounds in the process! I've been working out nearly every single day at the gym, or walking or running, for the past month and am super proud of myself for that. I can thank Doug, who joined my gym and has been a huge motivating force.

I really wanted to make it to day 14, but when yesterday evening came around, I munched on an almond, slowly chewing it and delighting in each and every savory bit of flavor. And then I had a golden raisin. And then another almond. And I knew it was time. Time to transition back to regular food. I had been doing very good with extending my cleanse a few days past ten (yesterday was 13) and the transition is liquid and soup for a couple more days. So in a sense the cleanse aspect will continue through the transition.

I call the transition soup "Stone Soup" like the children's book! I put some filtered water in my crockpot, and then add whatever veggies I have on hand. This time, I threw in chopped celery (including leafy bits), chopped fresh cilantro, a chopped carrot, a bit of frozen spinach, frozen butter beans, frozen green peas, a half can of garbanzo beans, and a can of chopped tomatoes with green chiles. I also added about a half cup of millet and quinoa (combined) - two healthy whole grains. Then in a tiny bit of olive oil I sauteed some white onion, elephant garlic, and a half of a yellow bell pepper, and added this to the soup. (Just now I remembered to add some dried shiitake mushrooms). It's really a hodgepodge of stuff in there. For spices, I add hot curry powder, some turmeric (curry contains turmeric but it's super good for you so I added more), garlic powder, and salt. Then I let it cook in the crock overnight and through the day. Today for lunch I will have broth and tonight more in combination with fresh squeezed orange juice (organic of course) and more lemonade.

So after I created this creation and it had started brewing in my crockpot, I remembered I'd bought leeks at the grocery store for this very purpose. I had never bought or cooked with leeks before, but I knew that they sounded like they go in soups, right? So I got them out, and thought, what the heck do I DO with this thing? If you're not familiar with a leek, it's like a ginormous overgrown chive. With chives you just cut up and eat the green parts. With the leek, the leaves are tough, so I was clueless. Thank God for Google! I found a site that said to put a couple of the leaves in soup for flavoring. In fact you can create a bouquet garni, which is a little creation tying the leek leaves around cracked peppercorns and bay leaf (where's the Youtube video for that, I ask! sheesh), and then plopping that in your soup. The leek leaves didn't seem long enough to tie everything up (I later learned you're supposed to tie with string or something else but I was in a hurry because Doug was coming over so we could watch Seinfeld, a show I've never watched, believe it or not).

I knew the white bulb part of the leek could be used but I didn't know how far up the stem - in the "light green" part of the leek between the white bulb and the dark green leaves - I could go. So I just chopped a bit of the white bulb part and threw it in the soup. I saved the rest in my fridge, but I just found this video online "How to Chop a Leek" that I wish I'd seen last night! Apparently you can go about 5 or 6 inches up the leek from the bulb. One thing I'm glad I learned was that all the leaves hold a lot of dirt and grime so you really have to peel each of the leaves back and clean or you'll end up with dirty leeks in your food. I'll leave you with a video on how to chop a leek (unfortunately it doesn't show a good view of what a whole leek looks like). Another video on ehow.com said that in soups he just cuts the leek part in half (3 inch pieces). He shows several different cutting techniques, which is cool.

I have made a list of vegetables I plan to use in various recipes. I've decided it doesn't totally count to use it as a part of a hodgepodge stone soup either. The recipe has to highlight that veggie prominently. I'm going to try to go mostly vegetarian again, and I have found a bunch of amazingly delicious recipes that I'm going to try out on my family, and when he's in town, Doug. Here's the veggie list in no particular order... drumroll....

Cauliflower
Turnip
Kohl rabi
Collard greens
Sweet potato
Broccoli
Bok choy
Green peas
Sugar snap peas
Cabbage
Kale
Radish
Mung bean sprouts
Brussel sprouts
Beets
Parsnips
Fennel
Eggplant
Kabocha squash
Butternut squash
Acorn squash
Spaghetti squash
Yellow (summer) squash
Zucchini
Broccolini
Broccoli rahb
Cactus
Radish
Tomatillo
Leek
Artichoke
Jersalem artichoke (sunchoke)
Turnip greens
Okra

Note that while I generally love most things, and most veggies, a couple of these things I have absolutely hated my whole life. Those include green peas and brussel sprouts. And turnips and parsnips? Meh. I have already found a couple recipes with Brussel sprouts and green peas that look actually very good, so I'll keep ya posted!

Savannah and a friend on Halloween. I love this pic and never got to share it so am now!

An end of January hodgepodge

Ruby Beach, Washington on the Olympic peninsula
Copyright (c) 2008 Wendee Holtcamp

I hope to blog more frequently again (have I said that before?!) but I wanted to post before too much time got away. It's been a crazy January. It never slows down does it? This month I focused on my January resolution of clean-purge-simplify. It started in December, actually, but continued through the month. I focused on donating stuff to charity, and cleaning out drawers and closets (I generally keep the rest of my house pretty clean - thanks to my wonderful kiddos!) I can't say my whole house is spotless and decluttered, but I made huge progress. My bedroom closet is so spacious - I can see the back of it now! Likewise the closet in my office is a completely different space. So yay, I think I met my goal. In a future post, I will mention my February resolution but I have to make this quick as I'm about to head out the door to go to Body Pump at the gym.

With the surrender, clean, purge, I think God had some plans for my life I didn't like at all. I will reveal the details in time, but suffice it to say it is devastating (everyone is fine, don't worry). I am trying to place my trust in God, and work on my relationship with Him, rather than trying to do things on my own power, and I am very good at taking control of things that I should let go and let God!

I'm continuing with the 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse, which has been interesting but I think the most important thing I'm doing I just started this week. I started an Experiencing God Bible Study at my church. I got this book years ago, and tried doing it on my own but it really requires a small group setting. So when I heard my church was offering it, I jumped at the chance. And then I missed the first week. I tried to make it the second week. I decided I had too much on my plate. But then I thought it over and decided I would go. But then the third week, I was all set to go and I came down with a headcold right at the last minute! Excuses, excuses huh. So I went this week - yay me! And I am already being blessed in my walk with the Lord. I have started catching up in the workbook and starting to see synchronity happen again in my life - one way the Lord speaks to me!

For example I came across this story (in a couple forms) not once, but twice in the same week that the "bad thing" happened. When a friend received a promotion, Albert Camus would give his condolences warning that they might get stuck in complacency. When his friend lost his job, he would open a bottle of champagne and celebrate, because it would force them into new experiences they wouldn't have had otherwise. There's another version - it's a Buddhist parable I believe. I'll try to find it.

I am on day 12 of the Master Cleanse, which is part of my January clean-purge mode. I will be finishing it soon and got a couple Vegetarian Times magazines from the library and am uber-excited about trying some amazing recipes!! In fact, and I credit my Montana friend Elissa with this, I have started a list of veggies to use in recipes - everything from kabocha squash to kohlrabi! I was thinking about maybe doing some foodie stuff with this blog, and talking about the recipes I try. I love cooking and it's becoming more and more a passion of mine. I'm an on-again off-again vegetarian and I am going to TRY to minimize meat consumption, especially if it's not organic or humanely raised. I have become much more aware of food issues since doing my Animal Planet blog! Well I better get off to the gym!

consciousness cleanse

Peruvian Amazon rainforest along the River Madre de Dios
Copyright (c) Wendee Holtcamp 2006

I'm using my old desktop computer, which actually is not that old, but it is slow as a slug, and the keyboard is incredibly annoying. I had to mail my laptop off for repairs. Everything is falling apart it seems - my trusty Subaru had to be taken down for work yesterday too. It was getting awfully loud, and I thought it was just age. But turns out the wheel bearings were so bad that I was lucky it didn't just lock up on me. I only brought it down on a whim. Glad I did!

I have started doing the 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse, and the coolest thing is that I got several friends to do it alongside me, so we're all sharing our experiences. The Consciousness Cleanse is based on a new book by one of my favorite authors, Debbie Ford. There are online meditations and readings, but I got the book from my library and it's got some additional reading material. On the first day, which we did yesterday, you sort of come up with what area of your life most needs your focus, and to create an inner and outer goal to help you achieve it.

The audio meditation allows you to sort of think through and figure out what feeling you would have inside were that dream to come true to your wildest imaginings. I initially thought of financial success. Which is so unlike me, because I have always sort of despised people who have a lot of money. Maybe despised isn't the right word. Distrusted, maybe? It's like I have issues with people who seek money for money's sake and because of my own upbringing (I had a hippie dad, what can I say) I had/have some negative associations with money.

Yet I have always been extremely responsible with money, and done well for myself but the last year was tough on me financially. Hence the new focus. I have a future I need to save for. And I want to come to grips with the fact that not all wealthy people are selfish or greedy, but that is just a semi-conscious mental attitude I picked up along the way. And maybe a little bit of envy. But in my ponderings and such on this goal, I realized that what I really want is to make a difference, and I feel if I had wealth or greater success I could do more good the world. There's so much I dream of doing that is just impossible without the money to do it. And it brought me back to my book, and dreaming of its success. And wanting it to make a difference in terms of getting the message out there that God is love, and God is truth, and that science reveals truth about the natural world, God's creation, and science and faith are fully compatible! And all this brought me back to the fact that because of financial struggle I don't feel as much joy and passion for my work, which sometimes keeps me from giving my 100% attention to it as I should. The writing becomes more of a struggle, something that has to be done, rather than a true joy. And I crave that passion again for my work, for whatever I do. So that is what I'm working towards.

I started smiling at everyone I meet. It is amazing how by giving a smile, you can bring joy to them, and back to you. Just a simple little thing. And I've noticed a little more spring in my step the last few days. So that's where I'm at, and some of the things on my mind and heart lately! What's new with you? Leave a comment! ;)

turn and face the strange ch-ch-ch-changes

Sunset over Lake Arenal, Costa Rica
Copyright (c) 1999 Wendee Holtcamp

Still don't know what I was waiting for
And my time was runnin wild
A million dead end streets and
Every time I thought I got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me

- David Bowie, Changes

Some changes are going on in my life, and thought I can't yet really talk about them yet I will soon! I am excited about the changes, and can't wait to share more. Of course, much of it is still up in the air, which is why I can't spill any beans. I can share this change, though: Starting this month, I will be writing my Animal Planet "Animals in the News" blog only once per week instead of five times per week now. I'll post every Monday. Please still stop by and read and leave comments - I love comments!

I also have been going through my house and really getting rid of so much stuff! I have donated car-loads full of stuff, and have been going through file cabinets and recycling many scientific papers I had gathered during my many years of grad school, and other old files and papers. I hadn't gone through some of this stuff in decades! I cleaned out my office and my bedroom closets, and some drawers (still more to go) and it feels symbolic. In the process I unearthed my boxes of slides from the pre-digital era of photography and one of these days soon I'd like to buy myself a slide scanner and get some of them online and perhaps start marketing my photography a bit more. Speaking of photography I took that photo in Costa Rica during one of the most exciting times in my professional life, while on assignment for Discovery Channel (Love & Death on Turtle Beach) and writing about leatherback turtles. I remember feeling so very alive! I put a framed copy of that photo in a frame in my bathroom to remind me of that feeling, 'out there under the stars, surf roaring furiously'...

I have tried to think up some New Year's resolutions (other than the standard one for the last couple years which is to love the Lord God with all my heart, soul, strength and mind) but nothing has really stuck yet. I did drag out my gratitude journal again, something I do on an on-again, off-again fashion. When I'm writing in it, I try to write down five things I'm grateful for that day. I also started re-reading Sarah Ban Breathnach's awesome Simple Abundance daybook, which is where I got the idea for a gratitude journal in the first place, years ago! I may try to start meditating for 10 minutes per morning but so far I've only done that once this year, so I'm not quite sure that should be my resolution...

Do any of you have any resolutions? Any in the past you have been able to keep and implement into your life?

As for the rest of my life, I am in the process of tweaking my book chapters with my editor at Beacon, and trying to get caught up on some articles and other things before the ch-ch-ch-changes. As always, it's a bit crazy busy around here! I am staring at my dry and crispy Christmas tree, which desperately begs to be taken down... but I love having my tree up more than anything! It makes the house look so vibrant and festive. My kitties are giving me some company now as I sit on the couch writing this, but I have some other work to do before the night is through, so I'll simply point you to my latest articles!

• My BioScience magazine feature on pikas, the little cute mammals that live on the rocky talus slops in the West and are threatened by climate change, Silence of the Pikas recently came out in their January 2010 issue, just in time for the announcement by the US Fish & Wildlife Service on whether they'll be a federally threatened species.
  
• Mimicking Mother Nature: Scientists and entrepreneurs are increasingly borrowing concepts from the natural world to help them create better, more sustainable products. National Wildlife Magazine. Dec/Jan 2010.
  
• The essay I originally wrote for OnEarth Magazine, My 30 days of Consumer Celibacy, appears as a chapter in the book Consumerism: Opposing Viewpoints

Christmas 09 pics

My beautiful daughter by the Christmas tree!
Copyright (c) 2009 Wendee Holtcamp

My daughter took many of these photos and Sam took a few also. Savannah is now a budding photographer herself so even though she just got her first nice Canon camera last year, she likes to take and use my yet more expensive camera... She is taking photojournalism at school and has her own blog and is very talented! She is much better at photo editing than I am, so these are just some shots I barely edited. She'll have more on her blog soon.

We went to see Avatar on Christmas Adam (Adam came before Eve... ha ha!) - and we all loved it. We didn't see the 3D version, but I'd like to if I see it again. Here's the skinny on Christmas - but below are the pictures that tell the story. Christmas Eve I baked my homemade pies - pumpkin and apple - and made a broccoli casserole (which nobody liked but me... but I love this casserole and now I have a huge bunch of it - ha!). Then me, Doug and the kids went to church around 6pm, which was a really nice festive service. After church, we came home and watched It's a Wonderful Life while eating a bunch of random hors d'oevres like baked brie, chips and queso, strawberries with chocolate fondue, summer sausage, hummus and naan bread, and chicken salad with crackers. Yum! The kids opened one gift each. When the kids went to bed, we packed up their stockings with Santa gifts and then Doug and I watched Lost... We're on the last season out on DVD. I love that show!

Christmas Eve we got up relatively early and the we all opened their stocking gifts and we ate pie for breakfast (what else?). Next we opened all the gifts under the tree, one at a time. The next big plan for Christmas was to have our 2nd annual FREE HUGS event at Starbucks. Last year my ex had the kids so I had wanted to do this ever since I saw the Youtube video and heard about the FREE HUGS campaign. I had just started dating Doug so I roped him into doing it. Ah the things you can do with new love... this year I had to rope the kids into doing it with us. It's funny, Savannah was all excited about doing it if her friends would come, but of course on Christmas few people are around to go stand at Starbucks and give out free hugs. So she didn't want to go. She thought it would be embarrassing. So we went to a Starbucks a bit further away from our house to minimize the chance she'd encounter someone from her school. Ha! But once we got there I think everyone had a good time. My friend Georgia and her family came again this year.

After we were done with that, we came home and I cooked up a pork tenderloin, mashed potatoes, gravy, sauteed mushrooms, corn, and stuffing. I had made the broccoli casserole the day before but forgot to put it in the oven - oops! We prayed and gave thanks, and stuffed ourselves. Then we watched the movie Cloverfield, not exactly a Christmas movie but what the heck. Doug wanted me to see it. I got very sleepy... probably all the food and the chocolates I kept eating after dinner! All in all it was a very good and fun Christmas holiday!

Laughter is a beautiful thing!
I want that one! Christmas Even everyone picked out one gift to open.
Sam opening his one gift on Christmas eve. Notice the Snuggie? LOL
He got... Halo ODST3. Just what he wanted. Plus a cool pair of jeans in the box that even fit and he likes them!

I opened my gift too - a salad spinner from Doug! I've wanted one forever! But Sam liked it best of all. He would not stop playing with it!
Christmas morning! About to open stocking gifts. I sewed their two stockings many years ago from fabric from a maternity dress.
I got Savannah this hat from Buckle, which she loves and looks soooo cute in!
The cat got her present - the Balderdash box. She loves boxes of all types.
On to Christmas free hugs! This is me, Georgia, her daughter and Savannah.
Everyone needs a hug!
Sam and Savannah torturing one another as usual.
Savannah stuck her hand in front of the camera - random just like her!
Hugs anyone?
This is a local pastor who loved our free hugs campaign. He had us take a picture and send it to him.
M and Savie. So cute!
M and L bringing the Christmas spirit to the Free Hugs campaign!
Me and Savie!
Doug decided to run around the parking lot screaming, "Just give me a damn hug already!" while jumping around like a madman. Savannah recorded it on video. It was hilarious!!
Being weird!
Would you like a hug? We are equal opportunity huggers!
Of course!
Another success!

The video that started it all...

bliss on the longest night

Elephant Butte Lake, New Mexico
Copyright (c) 2006 Wendee Holtcamp

Right now, I feel bliss. It's 145 in the morning, and well I have just have a warm happy feeling. Bliss. I haven't been so good about blogging regularly and I have so much to say, but I'll just add a few thoughts and updates and then I'll try to write more later. Today I took the kids ice skating at the Galleria, which was fun though the skates are annoyingly hard and uncomfortable (they seem to get more so every time I go - do you think?). Doug and I went a year ago the first week we'd met, so it was special to go back there together. Savannah and Sam brought friends and we skated then went to Ninfas for lunch. Surprisingly, the Galleria was not that crowded, given it's the week of Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas, doesn't it seem that every year the holiday season goes faster and faster? I am happy to say though that I really haven't stressed at all this season. Last year I didn't get my holiday letter out at all. I wrote it, I bought stamps, and then I never mailed anything. And writing a holiday letter and Christmas cards is a 15+ year tradition for me. Some people think newsletters are impersonal but I disagree. I truly love reading about my friends' years and seeing new pictures, and I know that it can be incredibly difficult to keep up with people on a more regular basis (this was even more true before blogging and Facebook came around). And I like writing one!

I am happy to report that I got my tree up and decorated relatively early in the season - and I LOVE the way my house looks with the tree and Christmas decorations. I got my holiday letters written and mostly sent. I have my Christmas shopping all done and presents wrapped. And we have some special things planned for this week.

I have the kids this Christmas (my ex and I alternate holidays, so if I have them on Thanksgiving he has them on Christmas and vice versa). I thought about going to Dallas to visit my mom and stepdad but it's my first Christmas with my kids and Doug here, so we decided to stay home and just do some fun stuff. Today was the ice skating part of the plan. We also plan to go to see that new flick Avatar, which looks awesome, probably on Wednesday. On Christmas Eve we'll go to church and have the kids open one gift each and watch It's a Wonderful Life. Have you seen that movie? Do you love it? Hate it? I've only watched it once or twice and it's so moving, and I'm trying to share with the kiddos some holiday traditions and things. They've never seen that movie, believe it or not. Last year or the year before I had them watch A Christmas Story which of course is a classic and they thought it was totally stupid and cheesy. Course it IS totally stupid and cheesy but that's part of the appeal. Christmas we open stockings, and then gifts and I plan to make a big Christmas dinner with Doug as my sous-chef.

Yesterday my best friend Daline came over and visited. She's been living here in Houston for several months and I've hardly seen her more than when she lived in Cali or Utah! Every year since I've known her she always came to visit me over the Christmas holiday when she'd come home to visit her family. That always meant so much to me since in my life I tend to be the one who keeps in touch with everyone from days past. Daline and I met in college, and have been friends since, and became very close after my divorce. She's been an incredible friend, listening to so much stuff I've rambled on about, and she is just a truly outstanding human being and I am blessed to call her friend. People are lucky to find just one friend like this in a lifetime. And she's an incredibly talented musician!! So we went to a meditation at Ekam Yoga, which is owned by my friend Maggie, and the meditation was led by my friend Linda. It was really neat and combined Qigong, sitting/meditation, chanting and breathing. Then we did a fun little gift exchange (I got a popcorn popper - oops I almost wrote popcorn pooper - ha ha!_, and then there was some absolutely delicious yummy food. Then Daline and I came home to my house and played Balderdash with my kids, and she and I drank some wine, and talked til past midnight!

So that's all the tidbits of info I have to share. I have more, but will keep it at this for now! Lots of love to you all this Christmas season. Tonight is the longest night, and tomorrow is the return to light.

savannahs photo bday

For my daughter's birthday, she wanted to go photograph stuff with some friends. First we went to a nature park. It was a very foggy day, which is unusual for this area, but that added a cool dimension to the photos. Who knew the girls could levitate?
Me taking a pic with Savannah's camera
There was a lot of dog poop at the park, and I stepped in it. Twice! Meanwhile Savi got some good shots.
She got this coat for her birthday!
Besties!

Gang of three
Besties! Take two!
Take three! I took this one with my blackberry
At the park.
Nest we went downtown Houston and took some random photos. There was a particular old abandoned building just across from Minute Maid Park that Savannah wanted to photograph but after we drove to it, we realized stopping might not be such a good idea. There were several dozen homeless people all around there, several camped under the overpass, several walking around the region. I felt bad for them. It's not always in your face in the suburbs. It was like a tent city but without the tents.
No Trespassing!
L taking pics!
This building was really cool. Lots of color and texture.
Quit taking pics girls so I can take one of you!
Ummm....
The weirdest thing is that inside the window was a paper printed with Lola Savannah. That's my daughter's name and one of her friends' nicknames (well close to it). And it smelled like coffee!


I love love love this photo! I edited it slightly in Photoshop by reducing the saturation and the result is it looks almost B&W.
Abbey Road!

Savannnah!

Global Wildlife Center!

Skippy the human-reared baby red roo gives me a kiss!
Copyright (c) 2009 Doug Markle/Wendee Holtcamp

Finally I got around to putting up more photos from our cross-country road trip! After Gatlinburg and the Smoky Mountains, we headed to the Northshore of Louisiana. Today I'll post photos from the Global Wildlife Center because it was such an awesome part of the trip! In a day or two, I'll post pics of the other parts of Louisiana's Northshore including an awesome swamp eco-tour where we saw gators!

The idea for my visit to this area started because Renee Kientz from the St. Tammany Parish Tourism Commission emailed me about a story idea she had for my Animal Planet blog. It was about a woman raising a baby kangaroo on her own, which had been abandoned by its mom - and has since been covered by the Today Show, the Washington Post and others. (And you can watch an endearing slideshow of his life so far here).

I thought it was a great idea, and she invited me to come visit the Global Wildlife Center and meet Skippy the baby kangaroo firsthand. It took me a few months to get there, but it was well worth it! The Center is a 900-acre wildlife preserve with around 4,000 animals, run by a nonprofit. They offer tours on either single-vehicle Pinzgauers - a Swiss Army vehicle (which we took) - or these other multiple-vehicle train-like things. Either way, you get up close and personal with the animals, and they're awesome! I've been to Fossil Rim Wildlife Center in Glen Rose, Texas but that was a self guided auto tour and you don't really get to touch and interact with the animals like you can at Global. I highly recommend this especially if you love animals or have kids! So on to the photos!

Before we went on the tour, we got to meet the star of the show at the moment - Skippy! I have a blog post coming out about him tomorrow so be sure to visit my Animal Planet blog! He's 10.5 months now. He loves to give kisses!

Doug got to hold him.

He gave me kisses too. What a sweetheart!

Our tour starts and I started taking photos. We saw some zebras first. All the animals are together, pretty much. The lady who raised Skippy as his mom, Christina Cooper (who is the Education and Development Director), said that during Hurricane Katrina they were worried to death about the animals but when they looked out of doors, they saw the animals had all huddled together in one giant circle and everyone survived. Amazing. I have always thought zebras are so beautiful!

Look at those big brown eyes! The first big animals we came across were these Bactrian camels. They have two humps and are very furry-faced. There are wild Bactrian camels living in the Gobi desert which are genetically and behaviorally distinct from the many domesticated Bactrian camels. I wrote about them for the Planet Earth animal guide profiles I wrote - so you can read more about the species there (under the Desert episode).
They are gentle giants! Love this pic.
They would just reach their faces right into the Pinzgauer and munch away on the corn right out of the big bin as well as the buckets we fed them from. They kept bumping their heads on the top of the vehicle. LOL!

Next we came across the giraffes, which just loved the corn and us! They were so cool. We could pet their heads and faces and shoulders. They have the coolest lips! And though a few times they bumped their heads, they were very aware of where their heads and horns were, and would bend their heads when they took them out of the vehicle, more so than the camels.

You can see the big bin of corn inside the Pinzagauer (vehicle) which we fed them from in this shot.
I love this photo! Look at that face! One of these is a young un.
Such beautiful animals!
Another gorgeous shot of the giraffes.
I'm not 100% sure but I think these are the Pere David deer, a highly endangered species that bred very well here on the reserve.
Where are all the animals running to?
It's feeding time! Just before dusk, when the temperature starts cooling off, the staff start supplemental feeding of the animals. They put all the corn in a big spiral and pretty much everyone comes together to chow down!
The preserve has a few Watusi and longhorn cattle and they would come over, stick out their grossly long tongue and open their mouth wide. They practically inhaled the corn!

On my Facebook profile status, while there, I wrote that I was being chased by a wild beefalo! This was the crazy beefalo that was chasing me (well tecnically chasing after the vehicle with the corn in it...). A beefalo, so I learned, is a cross between a cow and a bison. The cross-breeding occurred naturally at the center.

Here it is again, in the back, and it wouldn't leave us alone once we fed it. We had to drive off to the llamas, to learn about the "llama drama" to get away from it (not that driver Christina minded but it was seriously starting to freka me out, especially when the ginormous longhorns and beefalo were all surrounding us! The bison were pretty tame in comparison.
Aww... the baby llama!
Another shot of the baby llama.
Polka dotted llama
I love this photo too. The baby looks exactly like a llama male that isn't the head of the herd - this guy - so Christina thinks maybe the jealous herd leader took mom and baby away to stop the gossip. The three of them have been hanging together separate from the herd. Hence the staff call it, hilariously, the "llama drama." :)

Gatlinburg, Tennessee

Hi again! Today I'm posting photos Doug and I took in Gatlinburg, Tennessee! After exploring the Great Smoky Mountains National Park, we spent some time in Gatlinburg visiting the attractions. We ate lunch at the Smoky Mountain Brewery, and then walked around until dark. Most of the attractions stay open until 9pm. We had a great time! There are several "Ripley" museums, such as Ripley's Believe it or Not! Museum, Ripley's Aquarium, etc. We also went to a cool 4-d moving theater, which had 2 ~6-minute shows in sequence - it really tossed you around! Then we went to "Earthquake: The Ride" which was freaking hilarious in its total stupidity. You get into this train car ride, thinking it's actually going to be a sort of roller coaster but it just shakes you around, and puffs nasty chemically smoke in your face, and then you see a gorilla peer through the "train" window. Then it's over. The train doesn't move more than about 15 feet forward, then back! But Doug is now enthralled with saying (in the same way the advertisement that blared out onto the street did) "Earthquake: The Ride!" (The real thing! Earthquake, the ride!) LOL.

Most of the photos were from the Ripley's Aquarium which was an amazing aquarium!! We took these photos with Doug's point and shoot and my phone so the quality isn't stellar but I wanted to share. Tomorrow or the next day I'll share pics from the Northshore of Louisiana and all the cool stuff we did there. And then snow in Houston!! My kids made a very cool snowdude named Frostbite.

This is from earlier in the day when we were still exploring the park, but I forgot to post it yesterday!
This is a shot of our beautiful room in Gatlinburg's new Hilton Garden Inn (they've applied for LEED certification and should hear back any day now). Notice it even has a fireplace!
A cool bear made of nails at the front of the Ripley's Believe it or Not museum.
At the Ripley's Believe it or Not museum they had a thing where you could capture your shadow. This is Doug jumping! He thought it kinda looked like a skateboarding jump.

This - fuzzily - shows the lights (LED!) that illuminated the main street in Gatlinburg.
Doug standing next to a replica of the tallest man that ever lived, who was an outrageous 9 foot and some change!
The rest of these are taken at the Ripley's Aquarium. This is a shot of a shark in the cool tube-like maze aquarium. I like its abstractness.
Another shark photo.

Another shark pic.

These seahorses were so cool!

I loved the jellyfish too.
Another shot of jellies.
Me with a crab on my head (after all, I am a Cancerian!)

The Great Smokies!

The Great Smoky Mountains!
Copyright (c) 2009 Wendee Holtcamp

I promise to write more about the trip and post more pics soon. These are the first batch of photos, from our short exploration of the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. We mostly just drove through the park, starting at Gatlinburg and going first towards Cade's Cove (which was closed at the end of the road because they were treating for the Woolly Adelgid, an insect affecting the hemlock, if I recall correctly. We actually met up with Bob Miller, a Park Ranger, in the morning. Then we drove through the park. After going towards Cade's Cove we turned around and drove the other way, down Newfound Gap Road towards the Oconaluftee Visitor Center. We stopped a lot and took some photos but sadly didn't have time to go on a hike. It was a gorgeous day, if a bit cold, especially in the morning! After we drove through the park we spent some time in Gatlinburg and I'll post some pictures from that part of the trip tomorrow!

This and the photo above and below are the view of the Smoky Mountains I see in every brochure! It's taken along Newfound Gap Road, which runs from the park entrypoint near Gatlinburg to the southeast.

And another!
A view of one of the rock tunnels in the park

A lone maple leaf overlooking Laurel Creek

My shadow as I take photos of the creek.

Another view of the same tunnel.

We saw some whitewater kayakers in the park. Looks like fun!

We saw two white tailed deer and a fawn! This is the fawn, she's already lost her spots. We didn't see any elk or any bears, and I was very disappointed about that especially since there are like 2 black bears per square mile!

Laurel Creek
The Mountain Farm Museum near the Oconaluftee Visitor Center.

Water droplets over the creek.

pics from PA trip

Hi again! We made it to Gatlinburg Tennessee this evening, the gateway to the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. Yesterday we left Doug's mom's place around 3pm and went to our friend April's parents log cabin in Hollidaysburg, PA where we stayed overnight. Her mom served a delicious venison stew, and then we watched the Ravens-Steelers game. I was rooting for the Ravens because that's the team that (left guard)Michael Oher plays for. He's the player the movie Blind Side (currently in theaters) is based on, and his life is such an amazing story! And they won in overtime which was very exciting. We were exhausted by the time that ended.

Got up around 7am, and hit the road from PA, through Maryland, then West Virginia, then Virginia, then Tennessee. It was relaly cool driving through Pigeon Forge and then Gatlinburg as it became dark as it looks like a Christmas wonderland with all the lights up. Gatlinburg's lights are all LEED and the area is really developing in a sustainable direction which is interesting. Pigeon Forge looks like a fantastic and fun place to take kids for a vacation! We arrived at our hotel, the Hilton Garden Inn (a LEED Certified hotel) around 6pm and then had dinner at the restaurant, then back to the room where Doug's watching the Saints-Patriots game and I'm updating the blog :) Doug is teaching me about football (I'm totally clueless, or was until recently!).

Tomorrow we're going to drive through the national park and try to see some black bears. :) I'll take some pics and try to upload... have a happy day!!

This is a pic of Doug's grandma and I on Thanksgiving. You can see the food on my plate, rapidly disappearing! We arrived around 3pm and had a delicious meal. Doug's 92-year old grandma is amazing! She is sharp as a tack and still walking and getting around great! On our second day there Doug and I went for a couple mile walk through Mechanicsburg (a suburb of the capitol city of Harrisburg)., and this is a self-portrait from our walk :)
One of the old buildings in Mechanicsburg.

Another historic building, this one says the Orris House.

Doug gave his grandma a pink Snuggie for Christmas! We had to restage the event and we think she looks scared of the Snuggie! I think we chose a good color for it though don't you?
Grandma, Doug, and Mom. Doug's grandma does her hair in rollers every day and always fluffs her curls with her hand, which is so adorable.

Another photo of me and Doug's grandma
We went out to eat with Doug's aunt and uncle, Pat and Marvin, on the left behind Doug. On the right is Doug's grandma and mom.

This is our room, with fireplace even, at the Hilton Garden Inn Gatlinburg. Nice place!

hello from PA!

I'm sitting at Smoothie Joe's Juice & Java in Mechanicsburg, PA - the town my boyfriend Doug grew up in - drinking a Milky Way frappucino. Mmm. It's not a chain but a locally owned cafe, and it's very good! I had a grilled veggie sandwich too. Mmm.

We flew out Thanksgiving morning from Houston at 6am (meaning, we woke at 345am, caught a cab at 430am). Our flight to Newark was uneventful, where we had a 2 hour layover, then we got on a puddle jumper to the Harrisburg airport. Dougs lifelong friend Al picked us up from the airport, and brought us to his mom and grandma's house where we had a yummy Thanksgiving dinner with turkey and all the fixins! It was so nice to meet his family.

Yesterday we just hung out at the house, went for along walk, and then in the eveing we went out to downtown Harrisburg with Doug's childhood friend Lance. They've been friends since like 3rd grade. Harrisburg is about 20 minutes from Mechanicsburg and is the capital of PA if you forgot that little fact since 5th grade when everyone had to memorize all that info... We went first to the Brick Haus, an upstairs pub, and then to this Ceoltas Irish Pub/Restaurant that was really cool looking. Then we ended up home by about 10pm. You know you're getting old when you're home by 10! :)

Today we picked up the rental car (a nice trusy Toyota Corolla) which we'll use to drive home starting tomorrow. Well technically the long drive starts Monday. Tomorrow we're leaving in the afternoon to go visit Doug's friend April who lives outside Hollidaysburg. We're staying the night there with her and her family, maybe doing a bonfire, and then leaving about 8am the next day for Gatlinburg, TN where we'll stay at the brand new http://hiltongardeninn.hilton.com>LEED certified Hilton Garden Inn for 2 nights, guests of the town. Gatlinburg is right outside the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. The next day we'll explore the national park! Hopefully the weather isn't rainy like I think it might be...

Sorry I can't leave you with any photos yet - I am using the wifi at Juice & Java and haven't downloaded any pics from the camera! :)

a deep breath

Two hoatzins (Opisthocomus hoazin) on Cocha Blanco (White Lake) in the Peruvian Amazon near Blanquillo. See my other Peru photos!
Copyright (c) 2006 Wendee Holtcamp

Well hello!

It has been a crazy last few months, I tell ya. I am finally starting to breathe a long sigh of relief (though the final sigh to end all sighs will come after my book is fully approved and edited!). Writing that book, the draft that is, has taken me - from proposal to now - five years!!! At times I didn't think I'd finish, I didn't know if I wanted to, I thought I didn't have anything new to say, I questioned who was I to write a book on this topic, no one would listen, no one would care, it sucked, and on and on and on. But I felt some relief in hearing at least two writers say that they had very similar feelings. One was Liz Gilbert, the author of the amazing runaway besteller Eat, Pray, Love. She wrote about her feelings of the book's inadequacy (ie it sucked) on her website's Thoughts on Writing page. Another was Rachel Held Evans, who I met online because of her book on a similar topic - Evolving in Monkey Town - which is due out by Zondervan Press soon. I know that such thoughts are held by many writers in the long process of writing their books. And another thing, I've long since let go of the thought that if it didn't become a critically acclaimed bestseller, I was a massive failure. I can almost guarantee you, it won't. And I'm ok with that. At this point I just want it published!! Of course I'd be thrilled with wonderful sales and good reviews, but with the topic being so controversial (evolution and Christianity) I have no doubt there will be some authors on various sides of the fence slamming it. We'll see.

Regardless of all that, I feel a sense of freedom that I haven't felt in a long time because having the book incomplete felt like a huge weight on my shoulders. On top of having the book to write, I had tons of other writing to do in order to pay bills, plus my kids, my boyfriend, and the stress of life in general kept me so busy I hardly had time to write the book in the way that would serve it best - start on it and focus on it and finish it. That's why I went to Montana, and that turned out to be a huge blessing! Then as soon as I turned in the draft, I had a nearly 3,000 word feature due a couple weeks later, and now I have to write several blogs for my Animal Planet blog post to line up for when I'm out of town for the Thanksgiving holiday and my drive home from Pennsylvania to Texas. But I feel a whole lot lighter in my load right now!

In the past few months, Doug and I attended a 7-week Couplehood as a Spiritual Path workshop, a Christian-based workshop based on author and psychologist Harville Hendrix's bestselling book Getting the Love You Want (which is secular). Reading that book changed my life, and I tried to apply the techniques within my marriage many years ago, but the hard thing is if you don't practice it regularly, it doesn't become second nature. Then you don't end up using it when it counts, when you're upset. I wanted to introduce Doug to the concept now rather than later, even though every other couple in the class was married (and the fact that he will attend a class like this says so much to my heart about him!). I missed two of the sessions because I was in Montana but the ones we attended truly helped communication in our relationship. It can be so difficult to overcome some of those behaviors that we bring from our childhoods, the fears that prevent us from doing things or lowering our walls, or the triggers (buttons) that get pushed and make us over-react. But I believe self-awareness is the first step, and then the committment to start to change, to move in the direction of greater love and greater empathy for one another.

The final day we got a "Roadmap to Change" that includes the following advice:

Do this daily for the rest of your life:

• Spend a few minutes a day praying for your relationship
  
• Do at least one caring behavior for your partner
  
• Send your partner an appreciation (ie say one thing you appreciate about your partner)

Do this weekly for the rest of your life:

• Visualize and review your Relationship Vision (something we created in the workshop)
  
• Engage in a shower of blessings (this is where one partner sits on a chair and the other person walks around them saying praises about that person - first physical attributes, then behaviors, then character traits then general affirmations - in an increasingly loud voice so you end up yelling loving things by the end! It counteracts the negative stigma we have with raised voices and replaces it with loving affirmations). I can say when Doug did this for me, it truly made an impact on both of us. It was a transformative moment.
  
• Take turns planning at least one high-energy fun activity per week
  
• Create new gifts of change (ie decide one small, measurable behavior you will change for your partner and then tell them you want to do it as a gift to them).

A central part of this is the concept of mirroring, which is a pretty standard technique in psychology circles. You repeat back what your partner says verbatim, or as close as possible, to make sure you got it right. And then you go through the steps of validating it and empathizing with them. It's a lot harder to do than it sounds!

If I don't get a chance to post again before Thanksgiving, have a very blessed Thanksgiving!!

Caught in a Bad Romance...

Had to share this video - I Love it - so hot! I didn't really care much about Lady GaGa before - just thought she was very odd with all those outfits, but I fell in love with this song the first time I heard it, and having read about her interest in fashion and that she has a lot of input into the creative aspect of her music and videos and strange fetishistic (is that a word?!) clothing I am loving her - very avant garde and original. Check it out!

finished a draft of my first book!

My kids Sam and Savannah being silly - as usual - in Mount Field National Park in Tasmania, Australia. This was near a stream where Sam spotted a platypus. Copyright (c) 2006 Wendee Holtcamp

I am excited to report that I finished the first full draft of my book on making peace between evolution and Christianity! It's in my editors' hands, and I'm waiting for news, and we'll start editing for publication in - if all goes as planned - Fall 2010. It's been a long journey for this book. I started writing the book proposal in New Mexico which I blogged about toward the beginning days of this very blog in November 2005, and I also published an essay in E/The Environmental Magazine about that great solo adventure in Back to Nature: What is it about simplicity and solitude that inspires writers?. The book goes as far back as 2003 when I testified at the Texas State Board of Education hearings over biology textbooks, but really goes all the way back to my childhood and my own spiritual formation. I'm very excited about the book and though it took way longer to write than I ever imagined, and was more challenging, I am finally over the hump and super excited about refining it and presenting it to the world. A bit scared too! It's my baby!

In other news, my next big adventure: I plan to fly to Pennsylvania for Thanksgiving with Doug, and then we'll drive back! We will go to the Great Smoky Mountains National Park - my furst time there - and to Louisiana's Northshore for some R&R. It's going to be a long drive but I'm excited to visit some states I've never visited before. I have been to every state out west, and only a few on the east coast but will get to see Pennsylvania, and West Virginia for the first time, and maybe North Carolina (The national park is in both Tennessee and North Carolina, so if we drive through the whole thing, I'll see both states. I've been to TN before though). I'll get home just in time for my lovely daughter's 15th birthday! She is very excited about getting her driver's permit. Me, not so much...

On a personal level, despite some ups and downs in figuring out communication in relationships, my spirits have improved dramatically from a few months back. There are a couple reasons. I am convinced that a main reason is that I hadn't been on any big trips for the year and a half prior... except for the one to Portland, Oregon during December when I got snowed in! Taking another trip to Oregon and Washington in August so rejuvenated my spirit! I love traveling so much. But also, though I am a person who has long been adamantly opposed to antidepressants, I started taking a very low dose a few months back, but then got off of them a month ago and I feel great! I believe that they helped me through a rough patch, and my body and mind, perhaps has fixed itself, who knows. Though I'm not sure what my future holds on many levels, I am feeling great and excited about the possibilities!

Now that the draft of my book is complete, I have started to ponder the many things I've long put off that I have passion for. Should I produce and star in a documentary on sand mining on the San Jacinto River, raising some funds through the nonprofit organize I run (though it's been on hiatus for a while) - the San Jacinto Conservation Coalition? Should I turn my material from my online writing green class into an e-book? Should I start a local natural foods co-op? That last one is a recent passion of mine, and the biggest and most challenging idea but I'm pondering it. I'm considering starting a book club geared towards socially conscious books and documentaries, and I've run the idea by several of my conscientious friends in the area and we're going to get that started soon. The first book? Jonathan Safran Foer's Eating Animals, which has gotten a lot of attention so far. His article, The Fruits of Family Trees, in New York Times Magazine based on the book wowed me.