The Artist's Way

I'm reading the Julia Cameron book The Artist's Way right now and have a group of women friends reading it at the same time and we're sharing our reactions and thoughts as we go through it. One requirement of the book is writing "morning pages" in a journal every morning and I created this collage on a standard kids' essay book. I knew I'd go through a lot of these journals since we have to write 2-3 pages every morning for 12 weeks which we've expanded to 24 weeks due to busy schedules. I like my collage because it has everything I love and that inspires me. It has a rainbow which represents hope, it has a butterfly which represents metamorphosis, it has a camera lens for photography, mountains for strength and beauty, a bird for freedom, a yoga pose for peacefulness, a hiker with arms raised - which I just love and find inspiring. And the stars and moon which represent humility to me. How can one gaze on all the zillions of stars and not be humbled by our small place on this planet? And yet we still have a responsibility to care for our Planet Earth. The flowers represent spring, the eternal spring which always comes... and joy. I thought about putting a cross but I didn't find a photo that spoke to me with one, and to me my Christian faith runs through and in everything else. It's not one extra piece of the pie - it IS the pie that includes all of these other things. The money word, well that is where I struggle. I don't love money, but want to be financially independent enough to truly be able to contribute significant and substantial amounts to the world, and to rise out of the whole middle class struggle.

mountain lions

What beautiful animals. I love this photo! I just returned from my first trip to Big Bend National Park in search of mountain lions. A friend and I explored several shorter trails in the park , and on the day-long 12-mile hike up to Emory Peak, (or technically on the way down) we saw mountain lion tracks and scat but no lions. Big Bend did not disappoint! It's a gorgeous area. Yesterday, on the way home to Houston, we visited Wildlife Rescue and Rehabilitation in Kendalia, Texas which had several captive mountain lions that were recovered from the pet trade. They are awesome. WRR has many animals they take care of, most received from the (often illegal) pet trade and usually people who got them as babies, but then could not take care of them as adults. Many had been maltreated. Now they have ample room to roam. When we visited, several of them came right up to the fence. I also was just in awe of the one African lion they had. Wow. What a beauty. I'll put the rest of the photos online soon but I'm headed out again tomorrow!

Eco-mochilas and so much to do!

The article that just came out in OnEarth, How to Save a Monkey, talks about a two decade project to help save endangered cottontop tamarins in Colombia, Proyecto Titi, spearheaded by Anne Savage. The latest aspect of the multidimensional conservation project is an innovative idea - to make eco-mochilas (see picture) from plastic bags that litter the forest. They're beautiful aren't they? The famliies collect the plastic bag trash, clean them, and cut them into strips which they then crochet using traditional crochet needles and techniques. They make purses and beach bags and some other stuff. It's been so successful that they've started a thing called Turtles, Tamarins and Trash where they're expanding it to other countries. In Colombia, it has increased the standard of living (via income) for some women and families by many-fold, and they got to teach women who flew in from Costa Rica and another country that I can't recall. The article didn't have a photo of the eco-mochilas so I wanted to include this.

When I was in high school, I remember I would call certain friends who would be so busy that they would not call me back. I never got this. They were real friends I'd hang out with during school, eat lunch with etc. But I thought, how could anyone be so busy that they don't have time to make a phone call? I was not involved in sports, or music, or any extracurricular activity at all. So needless to say - before the internet - I was bored and wanted to talk to friends. Bored? I can't even remember how it feels! But now as a mom, a single mom with so many activities and appointments and things to do... I absolutely completely understand now how a person can be so busy that you can go through an entire day from morning until you plop down in bed without a single good time to call someone. I tend to make my personal phone calls when I'm out and about, but sometimes even then it's like when you're in the car you just need to zone out because when you're home you're working working working, or you're making dinner or cleaning up or talking with the kids. Whew. It's a busy but full and wonderful life!

I am headed to Big Bend National Park on Friday for an article I'm writing. I've never been there but hear so many good things about it. Then later in the week I'm going river raffting for the first time ever, with my daughter and her school class! That will be in Guadalupe River State Park. Woohoo!

How to Save a Monkey

My latest article is just out in OnEarth magazine! How to Save a Monkey: In the tropical forests of Colombia, a new breed of "conservation entrepreneurs" are using education and economics to protect an endangered primate. OnEarth Magazine. Fall 2007.

Check out the fun self-portrait of Elissa and I in Pioneer Square, Portland. Elissa lived next door to me in 7th grade (in Beaverton, OR)! We've kept in touch since. She owns Sweet Pea Nursery in Bozeman, MT and is a pilot! I've blogged about this before but in high school - after my junior year - Elissa and I, wild childs that we were, sort of lived "on the streets" down there for about a week. We ate at the homeless children's shelter, slept on park benches at the river's edge and in abandoned houses with some true street kids. It just shows how far I've come!

A self-portrait of me and my cousin!

Urban Zen

A friend turned me on to this website and I was inspired by the video of Kris Carr, a young woman who has stage 4 cancer, and author of the book Crazy Sexy Cancer. I heard about the book because I met the book's editor at the ASJA writer's conference in NYC this past April. I haven't read the book, but this video is inspirational. Go to http://www.urbanzen.org/ and then click on Video. The project is one put together by designer Donna Karan, and in the first video, "Voice of the patient" you hear my favorite singer-songwriter Alanis Morrissette.

I'm working on an article about mountain lions, and reading some in David Quammen's book Monster of God about large alpha predators and the fear they inspire in people, and how for better or worse they've been a part of our cultural and evolutionary history and to lose them would be a shame.

I'm also working through Julia Cameron's book The Artist's Way with a few girlfriends and though we've just started, it seems like it will be a good project for me to help myself break through the glass ceiling, so to speak. I love things like this that I can do with other people to discuss progress, etc.

One thing I've realized is that literature and books really inspire me and help energize that creative side of me. I used to read voraciously as a kid, and now as an adult I rarely have time to read anything that is not directly related to articles I'm working on. But over the past year or so, I've been listening to more books-on-CDs. I actually was in a book club a few years back and did the same - listened to them all on CD. It really also does stimulate the creative side of one's brain also to keep reading new thoughts, and new ideas. I've just started listening to Al Gore's The Assault on Reason, and during my trip to Glacier actually managed to read a whole print book cover to cover. It was People of the Lie: The Hope for Healing Human Evil by Scott Peck - which was utterly brilliant and fascinating. I plan to blog about these two books on The Fish Wars blog.

Visiting Glacier National Park

Dad and Wendee's trip to Glacier National Park. We drove from dad's cabin near Deer Island, OR to Montana and stayed at Glacier NP for several days, and then drove back to the Seattle/Tacoma area where I met up with my cousin Holly and her kiddos. This is dad and I on the roadside inside Glacier NP, at a scenic spot. Not a great photo but the best I could do! Glacier NP used to have 150 glaciers, but today only 26 remain - one fewer than last year's 27. Global warming hits the high mountain areas faster than elsewhere.

A gorgeous view of the mountains.

A coyote at Two Dogs Flat (left). Dad at Josephine Lake (right).

Lucas M, a graduate student, took Dad and I out in the field to look for pika, which he studies for his doctoral work. These are the talus slopes we climbed up!

Can you spot the pika?

Here I am! Squeak squeak!

This is my favorite shot. This was on the Trail to Hidden Lake, at Logan Pass behind the visitor's center. I was blown away by this entire hike!

A shot of people hiking the Trail (same one as above, at Logan Pass). The boardwalk protects the fragile alpine vegetation.

Another shot on the same trail.

Yet another gorgeous scene on the same trail. I love how we're literally hiking through and near the clouds.

To the left, the Canadian and U.S.A. flags fly near the Logan Pass visitor's center. Glacier National Park borders Canada and has a sister park, Waterton N.P., on the Canadian side. To the right, another shot on the Trail to Hidden Lake.

The mountain goat on the left was near Hidden Lake, and the one on the right seems to be nearly enshrouded by clouds.

A mountain goat kid - how cute! And a vocal chubby little Columbian ground squirrel.

Denial

I had an encounter with someone recently in which I told them what I thought, and they took it as that I was being mean. The truth is, the truth can hurt if it's something you don't want to see about yourself. Humans can be masters of denial. You have to be fully committed to truth in all of its forms if you want to be truly an emotionally healthy human being- including having the courage to see yourself for how others perceive you, even if it's not what you think you are, or how you wish to be perceived. We are masters of delusion.

I try to speak the truth in love, and am learning when not to speak, instead of "all the time" as I used to believe I should do. During the situation, I was calm, and the other person was what I'd call "freaking out" but what others my call agitated, upset, stressed. It was apparent from the moment I picked up the phone. It had become a regular state of being. I mentioned it, and said I thought the person needed counseling. This may seem harsh, but it affected my children.

So then after I made that decision to speak, I read something in Utne Reader that was like a sign from God, from the Universe, whatever, that I was on the right track. It was an article called "Out of the Drink" by Tess Gallagher, and was originally published in the Sun. In it, she is writing about her experience with an alcoholic friend, to whom she spoke up about his denial. She writes, "I guess all the havoc I've seen alcohol cause made me unwilling to play the denial game. When the spades fall, I call them what they are. It's the kindest thing to do. I recommend this kind of boldness or effrontery - whatever you want to call it - because although it won't always succeed, it might, and it is this chance that makes it worth the risk." Her friend, in the article, checked himself into rehab the next week.

Monday I leave for Oregon, and from there Dad and I will drive to Glacier National Park. I'm excited to see him. Glacier is in Montana, on the border with Canada. I booked my flight to Nepal also!! I will be there in the first half of November. Woohoo! I am trying to see all the continents in the next couple of years (after Nepal I only have Europe and Africa to go - unless you count Antarctica). I have a writer friend who I was emailing about my dilemma - to go or not - because of the costs versus the payoffs from writing gigs. She said GO, and enjoy. Her sister died young, and yet when she was sick it brought her joy to remember all the travels she'd done. I've always been sort of obsessed with death. I'm both scared of it, and not afraid of it. But I know that life is short, and I want to be able to say that I lived fully, and loved fully (even if that love was not always requited) and that I took the time for my friends. I think that finally in my last few years I am living up to this. And yet I am always reminded of my own imperfections as I continue to try to become a better person. I hope only that my friends and family will always be as forgiving and patient as I know the good Lord is as he smiles on us all with such love at our human foibles.

Kent State shooting victim Jim Russell dies

This is old news, from June, but it's personal. Jim Russell lived just down the road from my dad. I met him on several occasions. He remains part of that cherished spot in my heart and memory from my childhood, my roots, the only roots I have - on Meissner Mountain in Oregon. I moved around so much as a child that the only place that still belongs in my family remains my hippie father's homestead and rustic log cabin. That land is part of my heart, and all the people who live there. I grew up there every summer, and for 2 years (3rd and 4th grade) rode a school bus all the way to Rainier. Jim and Nelda lived down the road, nearly one of our closest neighbors at a couple miles away.

My dad told me that Jim died of a heart attack recently - on June 23, 2007. His wife Nelda was pouring him an Epsom Salt Bath and he slumped over and called out, as the reports said, "I think I'm dying" and then, "Oh God," more surprised than scared. What I didn't know until Dad told me was that Jim was one of the 9 survivors of the Kent State shootings on May 4, 1970 - where the National Guard shot at nonviolent Vietnam war protestors. Four died, nine were injured. Jim was shot in the head and leg. Ironically, Jim says he was not even involved in the protest but was on his way to turn in an art project (however he had participated in other protests). As one of the shooting victims, he got fired from his job, and the university told him he didn't need to finish, he could just take his diploma (he was a senior). Not only that, his dad got fired from his job. These kids were targeted as "dissenters" and anti-American.

So he eventually moved to the woods of Oregon, like my dad, where they met. Until my dad told me, I honestly didn't even know Jim was one of the 9 survivors but my dad went to his wake which had a lot of the Kent State survivors there. From what I've read, Jim didn't talk about it for many years, since for many years he worried they would still come after him. The Kent State survivors have all kept in contact over the years. I've been reading about it and it has moved me to tears. In some ways, our country has not alienated war dissenters like they did then. But we, the public, have not staged as massive and united a movement as the hippie generation did. Who knows what our government would do if we did. I don't have a lot of faith that it would be much different.

Eight members of the National Guard were indicted by a grand jury, but they claimed self defense, and basically that was accepted. But in May 2007, one of the injured, Alan Canfora, requested that the case be re-opened after a videotape was found at Yale University on which the clearly distinguishable audio can be heard, "Right here! Get set! Point! Fire!" just before they fired into the crowd. I don't think he's made much progress.

Kent State's May 4 Task Force - has a memorial to Jim.
The Oregonian has a piece "The Long Road Back from Kent State."

Long live the right to dissent, and peacable demonstration! A Jim Russell memorial fund has been established through Rivermark Community Credit Union, 4875 S.W. Griffith Park, Beaverton, OR, 97005. 1-800-452-8502.

Islam vs. Islamists

I watched an absolutely fascinating documentary on Houston PBS last night, Islam vs. Islamists: Voices from the Muslim Center. It talks about attempts to silence moderate Muslims by more extreme fundamentalist Muslims, often by death threats. It talked about the Wahhabi Muslims, who are the very extreme Muslims that want sharia law instituted which means Muslim law for all people, even in non-Muslim countries. This law includes stoning women and men to death for adultery --the documentary showed secretly captured footage (which was horrid). Yet many moderate Muslims believe in democracy, and in separation of church and state, and were interviewed and highlighted in the piece. This includes Phoenix physician Zuhdi Jasser, who leads the American Islamic Forum for Democracy.

Here's the documentary trailer on YouTube.


Apparently there was a big controversy several months back because the documentary was supposed to air as part of a Crossroads in America series on PBS, but got pulled. The reason? PBS wanted the producer to somehow say that the moderate Muslims portrayed within (who believe in democracy and live in a Westernized society) are actually not "true Muslims" but the extreme fundamentalism represents a truer form of Islam.

The irony here, and the beauty, is how parallel this is to Christianity, and to some extent Judaism. In these three religions (which I know best) there are gradations from fundamentalism and literal interpretations of Scripture, and more modern interpretations. Fundamentalists inevitably claim they are the only "true" believers. Ultra-Orthodox Jews take a literal interpretation of Genesis, as I understand it, and believe things like the devil planted dinosaur bones like Christian creationists.

Interestingly, the literal interpretations also seem to be more tied to political activism (at least within Islam and Christianity), probably because the leaders can control those with fear. Christians in past eras engaged in Crusades because they applied Old Testament laws to the new evangelism. Spreading the "good news" became killing others who didn't convert. It's quite similar to the current flaring of Islamic fundamentalism. They want to force everyone to follow their way, which will never happen, because once you've tasted freedom there's no going back.

The fundamentalist Islamists want to institute sharia law which came not from the Kuran but, as I understand it, from oral tradition (hadith). Christian denominations vary on whether the Bible is the sole source of authority, as do Jewish sects on the use of the Torah (Old Testament) versus the Talmud (rabbinic discussions and interpretations of the Torah and its Law).

These three religions share many similar teachings, and so it comes down to whether we interpret Scripture and religious teachings literally, or rather take the spiritual lessons meant within. You can believe the Bible, for example, to be literally true without believing that every word is literal. What about poetry? In Islam, do we interpret things like the 72 virgins one will receive in heaven as a literal truth or as a description of the ecstasy of heaven since perhaps sex is the closest ecstasy we will feel to heaven on earth? (It's no accident that Jesus called the Church his bride).

It's also ironic that there are fundamentalist Christians who tend to agree with the fundamentalist Muslims that "the only good Muslim" is one who is an extremist, and wants to force their faith on others. It furthers their own cause which is often to condemn those outside their religion, and paint Christianity as somehow different. All religions suffer the same problems. That does not make the religion itself wrong, it just shows the ways humans in their selfishness and greed and power-hunger can hijack what is truly meant by faith.

Here is a great interview with the documentary producer, Martyn Burke.

manifesting your vision

Freelancing can be very "feast or famine" and since I left my job nearly 2 years ago, I've been blessed with an abundance of work - one assignment after another. This famine snuck up on me. About 2 weeks before my last assignment was due (Friday), I realized I did not have a single other assignment on my plate. This, as a single mom, can be frightening. True, I have one assignment based on my trip to Nepal in November but that's not going to bring in money until maybe even January and probably will barely cover my expenses anyway. So I sent out several queries (which, if you're not a freelance writer, are mini-proposals about a story idea) and some were quickly rejected, some have not been responded to, and some were nibbled at but I've got nothing solid yet. These are times when faith and positive thinking come in handy. It's also a reminder for freelancers - when you're most busy with work is the time you need to send out queries!

I very much agree with the power of positive thinking and visualization - which are ways of asking God, and trusting that He will provide - but these things take time. It takes time, and the making of a new habit, to sit still and visualize success. But I'm going to try it. I want to print out some words about positive things like success etc. Reading blink I realize that seeing positive words and things can subconsciously affect our mindset and our results. But I think we also have to be prepared when the answer is no, to not get what we want, because sometimes a no is part of a bigger plan.

It's interesting that what I have read about The Secret, Norman Vincent Peale's classic The Power of Positive Thinking, and recently I picked up Joel Osteen's book Your Best Life Now all echo the same thing - you have to believe it to make it happen. (On an aside, I'm not so sure about Joel Osteen - I watched him on TV and he's too smiley and his sermons don't really cut very deep. His book also does not say anything really new).

You know because I was raised very poor during a part of my life (my dad was on welfare, used food stamps, we shopped in thrift stores and lived without running water) AND because I feel for the plight of the world’s poor – like in 3rd world countries that I’ve seen - I have identified these semi-conscious thoughts about money and people with money that I have. I almost feel like I should not earn lots of money, that people with money sell their soul, that they can’t be good people, that money is associated with greed and lies and power-mongering, but I know these are just delusions (though money can corrupt, and can lead to these things, it does not have to). I think these subconscious thoughts may keep me from making more. I feel very blessed with my success with magazines and my ability to pay my bills monthly, but could I do it out of Texas where the cost of living is so low? I’m not sure. I make a decent salary but I want more! ;) (And I even feel bad about writing that, I wanted to delete it). I want to be completely economically self-sufficient to the point where I can move wherever I want, and even make substantial contributions to the causes I care about. I think about how much Oprah has been able to contribute and I realize wealth does not have to be associated with selfishness and greed.

I’m doing a cleanse right now, so that takes up some time and energy too. I'm doing Jon Barron's colon cleanse and liver detox. I just finished 5 days on the colon cleanse and just started day 1 of the liver detox. I have to drink this orange juice/garlic/ginger/olive oil drink in the morning and he writes that "believe it or not, this drink tastes great!" Don't believe it for a minute, barforama! I had to add Stevia for sweetness but it really tastes like garlic... AND every day I have to increase by 1 Tbsp Olive oil and 1 garlic clove so I can just imagine what it will be like on day 5... then I drink a special liver detox tea which is actually quite good and does help with nausea. There is also a liver tincture that you add to juice and he says to "shoot it down like a shot of bad whiskey" and indeed, that's what you have to do. It's very bitter! I'm doing the cleanse with several other girlfriends and we're discussing as we go. And we're all supporting one another. Jon Barron says that the liver/gallbladder detox is the single most important thing you can do for your health, so it will be interesting to see how it goes. Here's to good health!


And hey, I'm offering another Online Writing Course, starting Sep 15 so if you're interested check it out! I've had a full course every time I've offered it and all positive reports back from students. It's chock full of helpful resources, and yours truly providing interactive feedback on all your writing questions.

on my mind...

I'm listening to the audio-book of Freakonomics and it's so fascinating! It's about, essentially, how people get what they want ("economics"). It talks about incentives, cheating teachers and gangs and whether the real estate agent selling your house really has your best interests in mind. And all kinds of things. Really makes you think. Good stuff.

I'm listening to blink at the same time (well not literally at the same time). What can I say, Malcolm Gladwell has a bit of a monotonous voice! I love what his book says though. I think the most interesting think about blink is how we can make these snap decisions that really are valid, and it's actually based on real information, but just information collected on a semi- or subconscious level. That fascinates me because I do know how important it is to trust one's gut instinct. I've learned that darn lesson! When we overanalyze situations we can actually undermine our intuitive abilities and make bad decisions. This counts more when making quick decisions, because if we have the luxury of time gathering more information can be helpful. He uses real examples from situations in war, with cheating card players, with firemen, and docs in the ER.

On another note, I just booked my flight to go visit my dad in Oregon, and we'll drive straight to Glacier National Park in Montana, spending a few days there. I'm very excited because this place is very special to him, so it will be fun to go on a road trip and see a place he cares about. I've never been there either, and he says it really brings him peace. It's an international peace park, so of course! ;) We went on another road trip some years back to Rocky Mountain National Park. I enjoy traveling with him and talking about all kinds of things. I hope to record some stories about my childhood, which I will use for my memoir which I'll write one of these darn days... I'll also get to see a couple of friends (my next door neighbor from 7th grade, Elissa, who I still keep in touch with) and family members (cousin Holly and her husband Ross and my "niece and nephew" (really 3rd cousins technically), which will be great. And it looks like I will be going to Nepal in November, which is super cool. I'm still investigating on that one, but I'm about 95% sure. Got an assignment and everything. I get excited to have adventures on the horizon. What would life be without adventures, and things to look forward to?

I've had a lot on my mind lately. Time goes so fast, and I feel sometimes like I'm not passionate enough about what I'm doing. I tend to multi-task and lose focus. I want to learn how to channel out unnecessary distractions and really find my focus and my passion. I miss that feeling I had when I was alone in New Mexico in Nov 2005. That was just brilliant. I've read that you can close your eyes and just bring those good uplifting inspired feelings to mind. Maybe I just need to do that more often.

weekend with the girls

I have two of my close friends in town, Daline and Laurie. It's so cool to get my friends together who don't know each other and have us all hang out. Friday Laurie got in from San Antonio and we drove down to Galveston to pick up Daline. We went to the Strand and walked around a bit (a historic shopping district). Then we drove to Rice University and I showed them where I went to school. I walked to my lab (my college ID still works as a key card - go figure) and saw a few old friends. We went to Valhalla which is the campus pub, that looks a bit like a hobbit hole. We had a couple drinks there and then went to Rice Village and met another friend, Clea, who is still in grad school. Rice Village is another shopping area with a lot of restaurants, shops, and bars.

My favorite Greek restaurant (Dimassi's) went out of business, I'm so bummed! So we went to Mi Luna which is a Spanish Tapas bar and it is really good too. We sat on the patio and ate lots of yummy things and had a great time. Clea is going back to Italy soon and I told her I'm coming to visit! My Check Engine light blinked on driving back from Galveston and my car was not getting gas properly because it was jumping. This makes me very nervous! But the light stopped blinking and went away. Well we got back in the car heading home and it was on permanently. We made it home, but I am not driving again until Monday when I'm going to take it to the shop.

Yesterday we went and got some groceries and then went to see the movie I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry which was really funny and brought up some good issues the nation needs to reckon with. I liked it. Tonight I'm having a party with some friends and I can't wait! Woohoo!!! But first we're going to church!

objectivity in journalism

I just added the text of the talk I gave as an invited guest speaker at the University of North Texas (UNT) Nature Writing Symposium.
Changing the World One Story at a Time: Don't get me wrong, I believe objectivity is an ideal to strive for, but, is it truly possible? And what are the very real drawbacks?

blink and obama

I just finished the Obama book, and at the end of the CD it had his speech from the 2004 Democratic National Convention. Wow. That was one powerful and moving speech. All I can say is that I hope that the people who seem to feel apathetic and cynical about the hopes of our country will rise back up and not let cynicism keep them from hope, and from doing something about the way the world is. I know a lot of my friends were so depressed after Bush got re-elected, literally really traumatized. But now, I hear many of these same people saying things like they don't think Barack Obama can get elected, that our country is still too divided by race, that the same people who elected Bush would not elect Obama even if they don't like Bush now.

I don't believe that for a minute. I believe in America, and I believe in our people. I think that even though people re-elected Bush, it was a very narrow vote and there are many swing voters. There were many people who wanted to give him more time to see what he could do with a 2nd term, and there are certainly right-wing fundamentalists and die-hard Republicans who would never vote a different way. But I think there is a narrow minority who would not elect someone because of their race, not a vast number of people. Now he may not even get the Democratic nomination but I just think it's disappointing to hear people who WOULD vote for him in the regular election not wanting to vote for him in the primaries because they don't think he'd be elected, especially because the people have not really paid enough attention to him, like take the time to read his book or hear his views. (Same goes for any candidate). Listen to him talk, he has what it takes to get elected if more people heard him give a speech and not just snippets of the debates. Obama is smart, eloquent, down to earth and real from everything I can gather. And he's incredibly moving. I'm impressed. He could do something to unite America and to remind us of the beauty of our roots, our history.

Now on to blink, by Malcolm Gladwell, the audio CD I started yesterday (none of the titles listed in my last post were yet in at the library, I requested them). He talked in the first part about these studies by John Gottman (whose book, Why Marriages Succeed or Fail I have) who got some attention for being able to predict, well, duh, why marriages succeed or fail but within something like a 3-minute snippet of video of them conversing. One key, he found, was contempt. Contempt included rolling eyes and insulting the other person from a position of being "higher than" the other. It was a condemnation of who the other person was. He also mentioned that in terms of being able to overcome insults, criticism etc depended on whether one was in a positive sentiment override or negative sentiment override. Basically, in the positive state, one would just attribute the insult or slight to them being in a bad day, and would forgive easily. When in a negative state, small slights were interpreted worse than they were, and even apologies were not accepted. People I think tended to stay in these states - they weren't something you flitted in and out of easily. It indicated the state of the relationship. (You can read the Chapter here)

I found this interesting for several reasons. One thought I had was that I'm convinced my mom and I are in a negative sentiment override mode and have been well since my childhood, and I wondered how we can get beyond that. I need to look into that... even when I apologize it doesn't seem to register, and she never apologizes but that's another story altogether. I don't think that info is in blink, but probably in Gottmann's book. Mom and I tend to get upset at one another at ridiculously little things, and I want to move beyond that. I also want to make sure my daughter and I don't get there (or Sam but he's so laid back it is more of an issue with Savi) as she goes into the teen years soon. I miss my babies!!

Lats on friendship, two of my wonderful amazing close friends will be coming from out of town this weekend and I'm having a party and it will be soooo fun!!!

working away

I've been working hard while the kids are gone at their grandparents, trying to finish revising my book proposal. Yes, the same darn book proposal I've been working on for over 2 years! The first version was more of a straight narrative nonfiction type book, which I called The Fish Wars: How Evolution and Christianity Can Make Peace. My agent sent it around to publishers but it didn't fly for various reasons - too many competitors that were about to come out, I didn't have enough of a platform (i.e. I'm not a pastor or an academic scientist). But after meeting with my literary agency (the Carol Mann Agency) when I went to New York City in April, I came up with a new idea that we're very excited about.

This version is much more of a memoir, my personal story about how I became a Christian who accepts evolution, and what that means. It's more like Elizabeth Gilbert's eat, pray, love (which I love, by the way) than like one of the stuffy books about theology and religion and evolution. I hope to reach a far broader audience, and I can use my strength which is my writing style. So wish me luck, send good wishes and prayers as I'm getting close to being done with this new revision and then my agent will hopefully soon send it to publishers again!

My latest article is out in TX Parks & Wildlife Magazine's Annual Water Issue. This year's theme: The State of Lakes. As you may or may not know, Texas has only one natural lake, Caddo Lake. I covered the newly emerging concept of offchannel reservoirs in Dams on the Side: Off-channel reservoirs can help meet water needs while causing less environmental impact than dams that halt a river’s flow.

These are the books I want to read, or more correctly listen to (I don't have time to read these days, I just listen to audio-CDs when I run or drive around). Has anyone read any of these? Comments? Poisonwood Bible has been around for a long time but the rest are relatively new.

Freakonomics by Steven Levitt
The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama
The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver
The Assault on Reason by Al Gore
God After Darwin by John Haught
Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver
I Feel Bad About My Neck by Nora Ephron

Did I tell you I got Sam a Robo Sapien? I think I blogged a couple Christmases ago about how Sam, Savannah and I just laughed so hard in Radio Shack while playing with a Robo Sapien and Robo Raptor. Well they were God-awful expensive ($200) and I said sorry, no way. But we had fun playing with it in the store. That year, Savannah was the only student in Holy Trinity middle school to get the Superior Achievement Award (which means she got a 95 overall average and never lower than a 90 in any class all year long) and I told Sam, who was about to enter middle school, that if he got that next year then I'd buy him a Robo Sapien! And what do you know, he did! In fact both my kids were the only 2 kids in middle school this year to earn than same award, and I'm very proud of them. Luckily the price has gone down some, and it's only $99.95. There's a V. 2 that has better gripping claws and more programming options. He's a pretty cool little dude. In fact that is what we named him, Dude.

Travels ahead - I'm going to the ASJA East Meets West conference at UC Berkeley Sep 29. I couldn't pass up the opportunity to meet editors from The New Yorker, New York Times Magazine, The Atlantic Monthly, Salon, Wired, and Smithsonian. Other than National Geographic, those are my dream markets!! With a book possibly coming out sometime soon, this is a great networking opp.

I may be going to Nepal in November for a story on red pandas, more details soon, and I also WILL be leading a group either to Panama, Belize or Bolivia in Dec 07 or sometime in 2008. It will be a 10-day/9 night trip with lots of wildlife, rainforest and reef/beach time. If you're interested let me know!

Dreams of My Father

I'm listening to the audio -book of Barack Obama's Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance. It's very interesting and I'm enjoying it on my evening runs. I like him, he has an honest way of stating the truth of both sides but somehow seeming to bring a genuine peacefulness and understanding between various sides. As a man who had a white mother and a black (Kenyan) father, who better to bridge the divides that still remain in our country with regards to racial issues? But it goes way beyond that, he just really seems to have something genuine in his words and he seems to want to bring people together. It's a rare gift I've only seen in a few people. The book was written before he even ran for Senator.

One thing on the 4th CD, he is talking about his work doing community development in Chicago, which he did before he went to law school at Harvard. He was meeting with various church pastors because he worked with them in his community development work and this was before he became a Christian himself, and he says, "They all mentioned periods of religious doubt, the corruption of the world and their own hearts. The striking bottom and the shattering of pride. And then finally the resurrection of self, a self alloyed to something larger. That was the source of their confidence, they insisted. Their personal fall and subsequent redemption. It was what gave them the authority to preach the good news."

All I can say to that is Amen, brother! Something in the way I heard it or he read it - in a very unaffected way, no fervor, just plain spoken - moved me deeply, because it speaks such truth. That is exactly what the Christian faith means to me. It's not about being righteous and especially not self-righteous or judgmental. It's about recognizing one's failings, falling down and then finding the strength - the redemption that comes from surrender - to rise back up, truly healthier and stronger. I've had two such times when I struck bottom in my life - in high school after the date rape when I didn't have God or religion and I turned to alcohol and self-hatred and other sources of inflicting pain on myself, and then my divorce over 4 years ago when I did have God and although I sunk into a deep depression, I never hated myself and I mourned and grieved and overcame, clinging fiercely to God in the morning in my prayers, during the day in my tears, and at night as I went to bed, alone, hoping only that through this pain something beautiful could be born, or reborn. And it was.

The best things in life

The best things in life are nearest: Breath in your nostrils, light in your eyes, flowers at your feet, duties at your hand, the path of right just before you. Then do not grasp at the stars, but do life's plain, common work as it comes, certain that daily duties and daily bread are the sweetest things in life. --Robert Louis Stevenson

I like this quote and just thought I'd post this quick and cogent reminder to enjoy the small pleasures of each day, because as I often say on this blog, you never know what day will be your last, or when your life might change dramatically. Enjoy the now, not always putting off joy for tomorrow...

I also wanted to mention a book I heard mentioned on the radio the other day and I just looked it up, and it looks really interesting. Save me from Myself: How I found God, Quit KORN, Kicked drugs, and Lived to Tell My Story by Brian "Head" Welch, the former lead guitarist of the rock band KORN, who got saved by Jesus Christ and kicked his meth addiction. The story is told for the first time here. I am going to have to read this. He has a new solo album called "It's Time to See Religion Die" which is interesting given my own title to the book I'm working on, and the fact that he's a born-again Christian. The music reflects his distrust of organized religion. You can also see more information about him and his music and book at his official website, Head to Christ.

Love and light and peace to you all!

Live Earth!

I am recording coverage of Live Earth, the awesome concert to raise awareness of global warming. I watched a bit earlier and it was really cool. I love music! I saw Al Gore encourage everyone to agree to a 7-point pledge, and I love the Melissa Etheridge song that she wrote for An Inconvenient Truth - I saw her play it live.

I plan to analyze my carbon footprint and offset my lifestyle for this year. I encourage you to also! You can analyze your carbon footprint here. OK I just did it: my ECP score was 353, with a carbon output of 15 tons. That is probably high because although I recycle, save water and electricity as much as possible, I fly a lot for work. It says the average score in the US is 325, but the average carbon output is 20 tons.

I have an article coming out in November for E/The Environmental Magazine on Carbon Neutral cruises (including my trip to the Galapagos) and if you want to offset your carbon footprint take heed: A December 2006 report by the nonprofit group Clean Air, Cool Planet released the first review and analysis of offset providers (you can get a copy of the report online at their website), naming the best 8 of 30 reviewed in terms of quality of their projects and dedication to education about global warming: AgCert/Driving Green, atmosfair, Carbon Neutral Company, Climate Care, Climate Trust, co2balance, NativeEnergy, and Sustainable Travel/MyClimate.

Not all are US-based. Offset providers basically do various things that "offset" your carbon emissions - whether planting trees, investing in green energy, methane capture (a more harmful global warming gas than CO2) or other projects. The costs per ton of CO2 vary, but you also want to look at the overall quality of the offset. People like the idea of tree planting (myself included) but it actually is the least effective method, in part due to the impermanence but also because of the slow growth. Many providers will use a variety of projects, and you can also pick which you prefer.

Here is another calculator: CarbonCounter but I believe most of the above have calculators also. The Live Earth one is pretty simple, and a more detailed one may give a better estimate of your footprint.

Zen Living

Here is a link to a CBS TV spot with Daline and some of the others out at Green Gulch Zen Center.

I haven't been blogging much lately about my deepest thoughts as I used to, I realized. Lately I've had a lot of thoughts and internal struggles and I'm not quite sure why I'm not blogging them as much. Maybe because I know the people I'm thinking about are reading this :)

I'm trying to find time to work on revising my book proposal (yes it has been about 2 years now...), the one formerly known as The Fish Wars (new title is secret!) and yet it is really tough to find time amidst the article assignments and having the kids home with me this summer. I love having the kids around all the time, but it does take away the long stretches of alone time I have during the school year, which I love. I think there is some fear there about completing it also - fear of failure, fear of yet another unfinished project which compels me to put it off even more (go figure). There have also been some family struggles, as I'm coming to grips with a new assessment of certain family members that were formerly - as my marriage therapist used to say - "in the China cabinet."

I really struggle with knowing what the right decision is a lot of time. I believe we have warring parts of our personality - some selfish, some selfless, and some that just want different things, and sometimes it's hard to know what my best option is at any given time.

Finally...newsrooms reach out to help

Well here I was about to applaud CNN (or rather CNN.com) for heralding a new thing on their site that allows people to donate to some of the top causes that help poverty, hunger, animals, etc. They just relaunched their website with a new look, and this full color banner was there linking to "Impact Your World." They have a photo of a child and it says above it "What Would Happen if Everybody Cared?" I thought, wow, this is awesome! Finally a news company has taken responsibility and gone to the step of actually helping make people more aware of steps that they can take to HELP solve some of the world's problems, rather than just reading about them. When I clicked on the link it brings you to another CNN site with links to various world issues, including refugees and homelessness, hunger, animals, natural disasters, poverty, and health and this literally brought tears to my eyes.

But then this morning I went back and the banner is not even on the front page anymore! I was like, what the heck?! Why launch some whole new initiative and only feature it for half a day?! What good is that?! I guess Paris Hilton or celebrity news has suddenly become as important again... I went back again and it's there again, but apparently it is labeled as "advertisement" (even though it's an official CNN initiative and site) so it pops up now and again but is not a permanent link. Why?!

Here is the link.
http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2007/impact/

I suspect they will link this to stories that relate to these specific issues, but I think they should have it on the website front page all the time! Also, I found it ironic that they have "animals" but not "environment" because oddly enough newsrooms call the environment a "side" instead of just an issue like poverty. You can be pro-environment and that is supposedly showing a bias. Can you be pro-poverty or anti-poverty? Doesn't everyone in their right mind want no poverty and a clean, healthy environment? Agreeing on the terms of those issues and how to solve them is a whole 'nother can o' worms, but for goodness sake, we should certainly be able to agree that "environment" is as neutral as "poverty" - i.e. it's just a term describing a phenomenon or an issue. I guess the right-wing fundies might get up in arms if anyone considered the environment just another issue that needs listing on their save the world campaign!