exciting news- lots!

Cocha Blanco in Peru.
Copyright (c) 2007 Wendee Holtcamp

Where oh where to begin? I just finished a draft of my article from my recent visit to San Antonio (about how the cities are taxing themselves to pay to purchase lands in neighboring counties in the aquifer recharge zone to help make sure it stays healthy). I now have another 9,000 things to do, but that's life, aye? So much has happened, pretty much all good, I almost don't know where to begin!

I'm finishing up Experiencing God bible study, and it has been one of the most amazing experiences - I won't say just studies because it's been an "experience." Before my divorce, I used to do bible studies pretty regularly, including ones at my church and even attending the Beth Moore Tuesday night bible studies downtown (she is a huge inspiration). And though since then I've read my Bible, and had an active prayer life, I sort of started to feel like God stopped talking to me. Well not as much. No, I'm not crazy and I don't hear a "voice" but God answers prayer in real ways, and sometimes delivers messages by when you'd sort of see the same bible verse in several places, that spoke to your circumstance, or that kind of thing. But to be honest, when I went into the study, I'd just come out of a period in life when I wasn't getting this kind of serendipity or any sort of word from God. And boy has that changed in just a short time!!

I entered into the study sort of placing my book and my life "on the altar" so to speak. When I wrote that blog post ch-ch-ch-changes, I was searching for a full-time job. Money is tight, the publishing industry is going to hell in a handbasket. And then after I wrote that post, the tragedy of all tragedies for a writer happened to me. My book publisher cancelled my contract. No real explanation. No extensive feedback. I don't mean to belittle the tragedy of miscarriage, but it was kind of like having a miscarriage. To any writer or artist, you understand a book is your baby. I've been working on it for 5 years, and on the experiences behind it for 10 or more. Deep breath. So I was devastated the first few days. And maybe I should add that to me, it was more than just a book. I've long felt that it was my Christian ministry to reconcile science and faith. So this sort of led to a faith crisis. Was I wrong? Did He not want me to follow this path? Don't get me wrong I'm not ever going to turn my back on the science of evolution, or on my Christian faith, but I just thought maybe something wasn't right in my message, or my approach, or maybe that was not my path to do.

But I set it aside, and started the bible study, placing the book on the altar as I said. That meant that I asked God what He wanted me to do with it. I was totally ok with completely walking away and throwing it in the waste bin. Or I would work on it more and try to find a new publisher. And through the class I've come to realize that God does want me to continue this path. It just wasn't the right publisher. And maybe I will self-publish or maybe I will find another publisher but I'm not in a rush.

I also heard the Lord speak "teach." I don't know exactly what that means yet. It may mean apply for a teaching job. And I have been investigating options for teaching jobs. I'll be teaching basic & advanced magazine writing workshops through Leisure Learning in Houston during June and July(hey the online catalog just became avalable! Here they are - Intro to Freelance Writing Jun 14 - $57 and Make Money Selling Nonfiction to Magazines July 19 & 26 - $150). And I may start teaching biology at an online university. But I also want to teach bible studies at some point, or even write them. So this is in the back of my mind. And one thing led to another and I'm going to be doing a "discipleship huddle" at the church. I'm super excited about that! I truly love learning about God's word, and studying it, and applying it to my life and to growing in spiritual maturity.

And so I came across this Writing Away retreat a couple months back and for some reason it just resonated with me. It's not like I can afford it, but I contacted the lady who runs it - Cicily Janus - and got some info. And then just 2 weeks ago I just knew in my heart that I needed to go. I don't know why, but I do. The retreat is an all-inclusive stay in a cabin in Breckenridge, Colorado in May for 5 days with agents and editors from publishing houses. I will get feedback from each of them on 10,000 words of my book, and the time to work on my book while there. She says she has an 85% placement rate in helping writers find agents and publishers. That's pretty phenomenal! I know this book needs to find its audience. So many people tell me all the time that they want to read it. I have to get it out there, with God's help of course. Maybe I was not writing it with Him close by every step of the way before but this time I hope to. So I signed up and bought my plane ticket today!

Other cool news that has lifted my spirit even more: I have made a couple of new friends, which is always so wonderful! I had been working out with Doug almost every day, and since he went offshore, I had that lack. But one of the new friends (both as a matter of fact, though one is more recent) work out there! And this may seem like "bad news" but it seems like the relationship of Doug and Wendee is winding down. It's been for some time. It breaks my heart, in one way, but I just feel like it's what I need to do right now. He's ok with it, in fact that makes it harder I think! To be real honest we've broken up about 900 times I think. Ha! But I never said much, and now it's concrete. I'm at peace and in fact happy. I think the hardest part of that whole thing was not knowing God's will for the relationship. I went back and forth a million times between my head and my heart. Ultimately my head won out... Sometimes I wish God would just speak out loud to make things obvious, but in that situation it was apparently my path to choose and not so clear.

In all these things that could overwhelm my soul, the loss of the book contract, the slow demise and breakdown of my relationship, I don't feel devastated, really at all. It is like God is carrying me, and I'm floating as if on a magic carpet above the "stuff" that otherwise could get me down. It just isn't. I just feel joy most days and it's unexplainable!

And here's another stupendously amazing God-thing: yesterday, a perfect stranger emailed, offering to give his used Honda Accord to me, after finding me online through a Google search. He and his wife had the desire to give back and see it help someone rather than just sell it to some random person. I'll post some details after it all happens in a few weeks, but I'm speechless! My Subaru has nearly 180,000 miles on it. All I can say is God is amazing!

In other news, our family recently sponsored a little Kenyan girl named Happiness through Compassion International (Savannah is going to be the primary person to write her and keep it up). We also donated to The Invisible Children, an organizatoin that helps rescue child soldiers in ganda. They came to talk to my daughter's school this week but even before that she was moved by reading about it online. She has developed quite a deep passion for helping orphans in Africa, and it will be wonderful to watch her life unfold.

First days in Bozeman

A mountain goat on Highline Trail in Glacier National Park, Montana
Copyright (c) 2007 Wendee Holtcamp

It's 1130 at night and I'm going to try to give a quick update without saying too much because I need a good night's sleep, and want to get up relatively early to write write write some more! I'm here in Bozeman, Montana at my dear friend Elissa's for the next 2 and a half weeks, cloistering myself away from the daily responsibilities of life to write a couple chapters of my book - God help me! Just wanted to share a few quick experiences so far, as I love my adventures, and I love sharing them! This is my second trip to Bozeman. The first time Matt and I were on a drive back from Alaska, moving to Texas. That was 1997. We stayed in a hotel and visited Elissa only briefly before stopping by Yellowstone and then to our new home. This time I'm staying in the downstairs of Elissa and her husband Ben's awesome home in the massive college town, population... 30,000. She think it's getting too big....

I have the whole downstairs to myself, with a bedroom, bathroom, office, kitchen and living room. Upstairs is their regular home, and today I got to use the awesome jacuzzi tub in her recently remodeled bathroom! There's wifi here, so I have everything I need to work, write, focus. As I mentioned before, she and Ben run a nursery in town so normally she'd be at work but she has had some shoulder pain and has been staying home. I've spent the last day and a half going over the chapters I've written thus far, outlining and determing what I've alreday said, and what I still need to say. I've just started outlining some of what will go in the new chapters. In the best of all worlds I'd get sooo much writing done I'll be just thrilled. Some moments I think I can do it, and other moments I get frustrated at how long the overview/review is taking me.

Elissa is an amazing cook! She follows something called the Paleo Diet which includes a lot of meat and veggies, some fruit but very little dairy, no grains or potatoes, and no sugar. I decided to try to follow while here. Instead of mass produced meat she eats a lot of game meat (she has a whole bison in her freezer!) or naturally grown organic meats (Speaking of mass produced meats, we watched the documentary Food, Inc tonight which I'll talk more about later...). Elissa has a huge garden so a lot of veggies and herbs are grown right in her backyard and the others she buys at the co-op down the street and elsewhere. And guess what? Yesterday I awoke to SNOW!! We had to rush to cover up her herbs and veggies because she hadn't yet harvested them yet. Today, she was cutting up all the herbs and plans to make various pestos - traditional pesto, tarragon pesto, mint-almond pesto, etc.

Wow! I'm so impressed with everything she does!! And the food - which I will provide photos of soon - is out of this world! So flavorful and delicious!! Yesterday for dinner we had blackened salmon with cucumber-mint sauce - and broccoli and salad. Today for dinner we had chicken breast (organic free-range) with chile sauce in roasted yellow peppers, with a bed of cabbage and sliced nectarines on the side.

Anyway I wanted to share a few pics I took on my blackberry. They're nothing special but just to give an idea... more will come soon!

You know a town is cool when you're greeted by a T.Rex sculpture at the airport!

And then, a sculpture of a bear... which says "Guardian spirit." I like to say the bear's my totem because when I did a guided visualization to determine my guardian spirit, child spirit and something else the bear came to me. And I see a bear in just about every national park I've been to.

Me & Elissa - lifelong friends! We lived next door in 7th grade in Beaverton Oregon.

Elisa's yard is xeriscaping at its best - no grass!

The "menu" from the previous week on the wall. Little did I know I've come to my own private resort I think! It reads: Bison roast with hot pepper sauce and salad. Skinless goyozas (a meatball) with carrots, cukes, lettuce. Tilapia wrapped with herb pesto, and beets.

She makes herb-infused olive oil and infused vodkas.

A snapshot of the snow covering the garden. It melted today but I'm sure to see more while I'm here! It's been pretty chilly.

writing a book

"Our job as a teacher of God, should we choose to accept it, is to constantly seek a greater capacity for love and forgiveness within ourselves. We do this through a 'selective remembering,' a conscious decision to remember only loving thoughts and let go of any fearful ones. This is the meaning of forgiveness."

- Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love.

Me, Trish, Georgia & Tammy at Georgia's birthday soiree yesterday. More people were there but this was the later evening crowd!
The birthday cake - organic even! Courtesy of Amy :)
Amanda, Georgia, Amy & Sam playing Cranium.
Me and Trish with Cranium cubes on our heads!

So, I can't write much because I've got way too much on my plate at the moment. I spent 5 hours at Matt's house with Sam, where he did his science fair experiment. Only it didn't work... so we have to go back tomorrow and start over with a slightly modified - and hopefully less time consuming - plan. I hope it works because we have to leave for Dallas for the Thanksgiving holiday after we're done there!

I tried to get some work done on my book, but didn't actually do any writing. I have written a lot of stuff that I later edited out of the 2 chapters I've penned so far, but I want to include in later chapters. So I just read through all that and sorted it into categories so I know where it will fit in. I've got to transcribe some recorded interviews of Carl Baugh, the guy I talked with at the Creation Evidence Museum. I have to figure out what order my chpaters are going to go, because that has changes slightly from my proposal (which outlined everything very clearly - but things change as you write). I plan to write, very soon, both the chapter surrounding my visit to the museum, and the chapter about my experience last week at the Texas State Board of Education. That one will also include the debacle at the 2003 SBOE hearings, which were even crazier. So... that is how a book gets written :)

I'm mostly packed up, but have some work to do before I leave. I had a lot to say, but it's all eluding me, because I have too much to do and too much on my mind! I took the kids to see Twilight this evening which I liked and Sam seemed to like but Savannah said she thought it was boring, because it was too much a love story. LOL.

So I also have an article due in a couple weeks, a Powerpoint and talk that I'm giving at Sam's school (on the Galapagos Islands and evolution), my book writing, and I'm teaching two online classes at the moment. And I need to drum up some new assignments. So... it's just a wee bit hectic around here! But, life is good. Very good. But I still can not believe it is almost December!! Holy cow! What is up with THAT?!