percolating ideas

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23
Copyright (c) 2010 Wendee Holtcamp

My mind has been ripe with ideas lately. I always find that when I'm engaged in various activities, reading books, doing bible studies or other spiritual practices that it really energizes my soul and spirit and makes me feel more alive and more creative (something that sort of had died down over the past couple years). As I mentioned, I've been doing the Inner Mean Girl Cleanse and I've started re-reading The Artist's Way and doing some of the exercises within, including journaling every morning (the author, Julia Cameron, calls them morning pages).

Today I started the Beth Moore Bible study at my church, Living Beyond Yourself, which is on the Holy Spirit and specifically on the fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control). I was actually present when Beth filmed the video series back in 2003 so this is my second time doing the study. That was the year in which I separated from my ex, so... it's somewhat poignant being here in the same study in a completely different place. And hey I just realized you can do the study online - check out the link above, if you're interested.

I wanted to share visually some of the things that have been percolating in my mind and heart. Some of which are edible! I make these absolutely delicious protein fruit smoothies. The other day I made one I decided to name Blackberry Bliss. I use frozen fruit, whey protein powder (yum! Much better than rice protein powder which I've used before too), Almond Milk, and (sometimes) yogurt. I don't even use ice because the frozen fruit does the trick. Mango MAKES the smoothie - of any flavor. There's something about their consistency that really makes a smoothie, well, smooth. :)
One of my "ideas" - and it's not really that new but within the past year or so - is that I really would love to open a healthy eatery someday... and I would definitely serve these. I make a variety of flavors, depending on what is in my freezer, but I came up with names the other day for what I'd sell: Succulent Strawberry, Blackberry Bliss, Mango Madness...
This is the second time I've made this Spicy Tofu Lettuce Wraps recipe and it's soooo delish. I used curly leaf lettuce and I highly recommend something more substantial because they don't stay together very well this way. You can also see the awesome salad spinner I got for Christmas this year and which I love! Sam likes to spin it too... it's like a spinnie toy I guess! Anyway the recipe is from Vegetarian Times magazine, and the ingredients are:

Filling
2 tsp. vegetable oil
1 medium onion, chopped (1 1/2 cups)
1 Tbs. minced fresh ginger
1 Tbs. minced lemongrass
2 cloves garlic, minced (2 tsp.)
1 lb. extra-firm tofu, crumbled
1 8-oz. can water chestnuts, drained and chopped
4 Tbs. low-sodium soy sauce
4 Tbs. hoisin sauce
1 to 2 tsp. vegetarian chile sauce, such as vegetarian sriracha
16 butter lettuce or iceberg lettuce leaves

Garnishes
1 large carrot, peeled and grated
1/2 cup chopped green onions
1/2 cup chopped fresh mint
1/2 cup finely chopped peanuts
Hoisin and chile sauces

* I modified it by using leeks instead of onions this time because that's what I happened to have. It was great! It was good with the onion last time too. I also used 4 instead of 2 garlic cloves (you can never use too much garlic, in my opinion!), 2 instead of 4 Tbsp of soy sauce (I actually use Bragg's liquid aminos which is kind of the same thing flavor-wise, but it's definitely not low-sodium). I had some dried lemongrass rather than fresh and that worked fine too. It's really simple to make:

Directions
1. To make Filling: Heat oil in large skillet over medium heat. Add onion, ginger, lemongrass, and garlic, and cook 7 to 10 minutes, or until onions are soft and beginning to brown. Add tofu and water chestnuts, breaking tofu into small crumbles; cook 4 minutes, or until heated through. Stir in soy sauce, hoisin sauce, and chile sauce. Transfer to serving bowl.

2. Place lettuce leaves on platter, and set out garnishes in small serving bowls. Wrap tofu mixture in lettuce leaves, and top with your choice of garnishes.

Another thought process coming out of all this idea-ripening is that I may start another blog just focusing on healthy eating, cooking, healthy lifestyle stuff. What should I call it? I have to have Bohemian in the title I think. The Healthy Bohemian? I will have to see if my talented daughter can help me design a blog template. She is so incredibly amazing in that department. She's redesigned her own blog about 10 times and I love them all! She's a super talented photographer, and good with the graphics design programs, is in photojournalism and yearbook in high school and well I just can't say enough good things about her. And she has an incredible passion for orphans around the world. And I have to mention my super-smart son who just started high school and who turns 14 this weekend - wow!! They grow up so fast! I love them both to pieces.
I have tweeted about Stone Soup before, but this is a photo when all the fresh ingredients are just starting to cook. I call it that because of the popular children's book but it's the recipe I use coming off the Master Cleanse, and I make it now and then because it's super healthy and yummy too. I just throw in whatever I happen to have in my freezer or fresh produce drawer at the time - usually things like frozen butter beans, corn, celery, okra, spinach, tomatoes (or salsa), leeks, onions, and then I add in quinoa, millet and/or rice, as well as lots of curry and turmeric and a touch of cayenne pepper and salt. So there ya go. Throw it in the crockpot and let it cook for 24 hours.
Today, I was at Target shopping for my son's birthday present and I came across this towel which was on Clearance. I needed a new towel for my bathroom because I have a white one I got last year and well that didn't work so well, with makeup and such getting wiped on it... It's amazing how very simple changes can make a corner of your bathroom look so much happier! OK I'm easily delighted, what can I say.
My last pic of the day is my blank Vision Board... obviously it's just a corkboard now. But I have been wanting to make a Vision Board for along time and the time is now! I got this out of my closet and bought some thumbtacks today (all the ones I have are used up on my map of the world - I put tacks in the places I want to go, and the places I've already been). My talented and inspiring friend Jessica - who owns the clothing/shoe manufacturing company Joyfolie - was talking about her Vision Board and it inspired me to start my own, finally! I hope to blog again tomorrow or Tuesday about the totally inspiring and helpful live Inner Mean Girl Reform School Open House tele-call from Saturday. They're offering another one Wednesday - so whether or not you've signed up for the free Inner Mean Girl Cleanse, you can call in for this and get some good nuggets of wisdom!

40 Days to Freedom!

Do you have Cooties! My Inner Mean Girl does!
Photo Copyright (c) 2009 Wendee Holtcamp

I kicked off the (FREE!) Inner Mean Girl Cleanse this week with an amazing call with SARK - aka Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy, author of Succulent Wild Woman and many other books. I've always loved SARK's free-spirited style and joie de vivre while still being very real and honest with the challenges she has faced. I learned of the Inner Mean Girl cleanse from SARK's eNewsletter, which I subscribe to (you can subscribe here - click on eletter).

A few things about the Inner Mean Girl Cleanse:

• It's an online, interactive program put together by two authors and life coaches, Christine Arylo - Inspirational Catalyst and Queen of Self-Love - and Amy Ahlers - the Wake-up Call Coach.
  
  
• The Inner Mean Girl is the inner critic that we women hear inside our heads (sometimes we have more than one). It's not about being mean to others, but how hard we are on ourselves, and learning to turn it into a superhero ally!
  
  
• It runs for 40 days. Even if you missed the first week, you can sign up anytime here. Each week the focus is on a different issue that we all deal with. Over 6,000 people are signed up and doing this simultaneously and you can join too!
  
  
• I signed up as a Self-Love Ambassador and will be blogging each week about the issue at hand.
  
  
• After the 40 Day Cleanse is over, they are offering Inner Mean Girl Reform School which is a paid online course. So if you like what you experience during the free program, you can sign up! (and if you do it from here, I get a referral commission). :)

The cleanse kicked off with a call in through MaestroConference- a conference calling system. I have never done anything like this, and it was really cool! At a certain time, I called in and Amy, Christine, and SARK were all talking to us. After a few minutes, they broke us into sub-groups where each person (of several hundred calling in) could say their name and the one thing that came to mind about what we are most hard on ourselves about. I said "relationships" since that was what I'd been struggling over lately. Then SARK talked about how to 3 steps in turning our Inner Mean Girl from an enemy to an ally. They are:

• Awareness. The first step is becoming aware of the "Inner Mean Girl" - and you may have more than one! We are encouraged to draw them, which I did. I actually have two so far. They're not very nice!
  
  
• Attention. Give the Inner Mean Girl some attention by journaling and listing out the kinds of things that are said. In the Artist's Way, Julia Cameron calls these "blurts."
  
  
• Allowing. Reassure yourself that you are whole.

After the hour-long chat by SARK, Amy and Christine they broke us into groups of three and we were able to introduce ourselves and chat about the call and the issues we're facing. All three of us had similar challenges, so it was really serendipitous! (After the fact I wondered if they didn't match people up by the concern stated at the beginning of the call - but regardless, it was really fantastic to share with other women going through similar things). We exchanged emails even and I hope to keep in touch!

Each week there is a new topic, and the first week's topic is Gossip. I have never been a gossip or considered myself in that capacity but I already have had an epiphany about it, which I'll share in my next post!

Simple Pleasures!

Trekking in Eastern Nepal. Copyright (c) 2007 Wendee Holtcamp

"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step."
- Dr Martin Luther King, Jr.

It's been pretty darn busy around here since I returned from the Gulf of Mexico trip (remember, my nickname is Whirlwendee, after all)! First I had to write a feature, then I had to edit it some, then I had to work on another piece - which I have finished a draft of and am now letting it "gel." I like to have a week, or at least a few days, after writing my initial draft where I can set it aside, and not think about it. Then I come back to it, tweak it, and it always ends up the better for it. Sometimes I do not have that luxury, when I'm working right up to my deadline. So after stressing a bit over an approaching deadline, I was very happy that I finished a draft early so I can have the time to let it sit, and come back to it in a couple days. And meanwhile, I can catch up on my email that is ever-accumulating. I feel much more on top of things when I'm caught up on my email - don't you? I like to keep my inbox under 100. That means I sort and file a lot of emails, but still.

After almost 2 years, my boyfriend and I broke up. So... it's been a bit rough. We have gone back and forth, back and forth, gotten close, grown apart, spent time traveling (both for our respective work) and in the end, it just isn't working for either of us. Even though this is a cliche, it was sort of like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. Really, we can't change our man. We can love someone, but after enough time you start to see that who they are, or how they behave towards you, can't be explained or justified by... unemployment, stress, etc etc. It's good to be able to see people we love at their "worst" because to make a long-term relationship move to a deeper level, we're eventually going to see that anyway. But when it's not pretty, and it drags you down too, that can't be a good sign of hope for a beautiful future.

I started reading The Artist's Way again, and this morning was sitting outside in my backyard and read about how we creatives are often attracted to "crazymakers" - sometimes relationship partners, sometimes friends, sometimes parents. I'm just sayin... sometimes we allow a relationship to steal away our creativity because we pour time, love, effort into that relationship instead of into nourishing our own spirit, soul, creativity. I love deeply and don't give up easily. I tried so hard. We even tried to break up before, but never could make it stick. I miss him. But I can't go back. Even though he's now doing things that are so wonderful for his life, making new friends, training for new jobs that contribute positively to the world. Not now. I wish him well, and will continue to be his friend.

So, I have made a commitment to nourish my creativity and to devote the next few years to making sure I have good relationships with my kids as they move into young adulthood. I only have 3 and 4 years left with the two of them, and it will fly by! I am going to look for workshops and such for things like parent-child communication, listening skills, and that kind of thing. So imagine my surprise and delight when just this very day I came across two very cool things that I am going to participate in online, and they're totally FREE! Julia Cameron in The Artist's Way talks about how when we step out in faith, serendipity intervenes and God puts these things in our path.

• The first thing is a 40-Day "Inner Mean Girl 40-Day Cleanse" - to get rid of the inner critic voice inside that drags us down. It's taught by 6 different relationship/life coaches, all online and all free! It begins on Wednesday, so sign up now if you're interested. There's also a free MP3 audio of the Mean Girl School Open House you can download here. I just did but haven't yet listened to it. The website says, "How to transform the critical voice in your head so you can stop being so hard on yourself, enjoy your life & feel truly successful!" I'll report back!
  
  
• The second is a teleclass "Get Close. Get Real" by Sharon Day - about connecting more deeply with your daughter. It's on Sep 7 at noon central time, and it's free. I think that she may be offering a longer teleworkshop after that which is not free, but I'm just doing the free one for now!

The cool thing is how this so closely ties into what I'm reading about in The Artist's Way. Ch. 1 actually talks about "blurts" which are things that our inner critic says when something positive happens. The goal is to replace them with positive affirmations.

On another note, finances have been really tough lately (over the past couple years, like many people) and another thing that was really stressing me was feeling like I was trapped in my home and would not be able to sell it if I needed to. I have a great little house and have kept it up well - other than the carpet which definitely needs some work due to my bulimic cat - but I had started and not finished some projects and knew I needed them done before I could even think about selling. I had always wanted Doug to come help me work on them, but since that's not going to happen now, I empowered myself by deciding that myself and the kids would do the work together. Basically I have to paint a wall, a bathroom, and a ceiling because I started to strip off wallpaper border I didn't like after I first moved in 5 years ago and quickly realized...this was not working. The border was stuck steadfast to the wall and my attempts to use DIF (the blue wallpaper glue loosener) only succeeded in turning my wall and ceiling blue. So...it had stayed that way for years! Sam spent last week taping up my wall, and then we got the rest of the border off, sanded down a couple parts of the wall, spackled in the holes, and am all ready to prime and paint. Yay us! Baby steps...

Today is a good day. I feel happy about my article, and about the two free online finds, and am about to go to Panera Bread and work catching up on emails. I finished a 12-day Master Cleanse and am truly enjoying the simple pleasures of drinking coffee, nibbling on ginger chocolate, eating homemade vegetable soup. I enjoy conversations with my friends, new and old, and am feeling spacious and open to what the universe holds for me in the next few years.

the artist vs the adult

I've been a bit stressed. Probably PMS. Anyway, I've also been laughing a lot. Savie and I have been cracking each other up which is fun and cute. I actually don't laugh a lot for some reason. I'm not sure why. I used to when I was a teenager. Some people really make me laugh. My girlfriends and I laugh together. But I'm not the kind of person that laughs all the time. I do have a sort of satirical sense of humor. I think I need one of those Happy Bunny shirts that says "I'm laughing on the inside."

So I laid outside today on a blanket (I Love being outside. I just want to be out there permanently!) and I was reading The Artist's Way, and some things in Chapter 11 really spoke to me. I was thinking about how I have these two parts of my personality that are sort of in conflict. I have my very free spirit, bohemian, hippie, party girl, flower child, artist, writer, creative side. It likes to hang upside down from the monkey bars, swing super high, stand on my head, spin around and around in circles, do cartwheels, laugh my fool head off, dive with sharks, swim in the ocean, take naps, be lazy, travel around the world and shirk all responsibility. Then there is the very responsible part of me who never misses a deadline, pays all her bills on time, is a perfectionist and control freak, never drinks and drives, gave up smoking and drugs years and years ago and is a bit too lofty about that, works out and obsesses about things.

God just reading that makes me want to wretch. Actually they both are me all the time! That is the weird thing. I am not responsible only part of the time. My inner artist is a very responsible bohemian! Ha ha! That is kind of funny. Even when I'm traveling and being a bohemian adventurer, I'm still paying my bills, meeting my deadlines. Well maybe there is a tiny bit that is sometimes slightly irresponsible, just a tiny wee bit, but any time I do something wrong that responsible nerd reminds me and bugs me until I feel guilty. But there's just a little part of me that feels like the prodigal son and wants to let loose, and go back to my younger days when I didn't really worry so much about responsibility and could just have fun without consequence - or in reality so I thought there were no consequences. There always were. But I just wish for a bit I could have that whole mindset again, and just be wild and free. I have such a free bird living inside my heart and she so struggles with the responsible side. It really kills me sometimes.

So in Artist's Way Chapter 11, Recovering a Sense of Autonomy, it says:

"To a large degree my life is art, and when it gets dull, so does my work."

"As an artist I can literally die from boredom. I kill myself when I fail to nurture my artist child because I am acting like somebody else's idea of an adult."

"To be an artist is to recognize the particular. To appreciate the peculiar. To allow a sense of play in your relationship to accepted standards. To ask the question, 'Why?' To be an artist is to risk admitting that much of what is money, property, and prestige strikes you as just a little silly."

"As artists, we are spiritual sharks. The ruthless truth is that if we don't keep moving, we sink to the bottom and die."

These quotes and the whole chapter spoke to me because it helped me understand WHY I am such a bohemian! There are just some people who are like this -- the cultural creatives! I also came across this quote as I was reading the end of Chapter 10 today, Recovering a Sense of Self-Protection, which spoke to me, "It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it." - Somerset Maugham.

I also thought today that maybe I would like to start painting again. I am not good at it, but when I was going through a hard time around 2000 I bought some watercolor paints and brushes and M and I used to sit around and paint. Course he ended up being brilliant at it, and I was putzing around so I gave it up. But it was fun, and another way to creatively express, so I am just feeling compelled to maybe pick it up again. Just something to do.

Well since today is the Sabbath that is my excuse to do absolutely no work! I went to church, laid outside and read Artists' Way and now I'm going to go eat some Soy Delicious Peanut Butter Zig Zag (this stuff is divine! but a wee bit too fattening for regular consumption - save for stressful days) and I'm going to watch The Kite Runner! I am almost done with my bobcat article though, then it's on to Biomimicry, then to write a book chapter for Losing My Religion based on my trip to Colorado!! Lots to do...