Thursday, April 20, 2006

something funny, friendships and boundaries

I started reading the book "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" to my kids at bed tonight. I got this at the library book sale, because my Master's advisor at Texas A&M had a poster in his office of this, and he is one of the people I respect most in life as a role model. He always made family a priority. While many professors would work late in the night while their families stayed home, he would leave at 5pm if his son had a game and say with a grin, "priorities is priorities." He was accomplished in his field yet didn't make career his entire life. He always offered just the right amount of encouragement, and was just a really, really nice guy. Although I appreciated him a lot then, after having some crappy advisors after that, I honestly appreciate him now more than ever!

Anyway so this book is hilarious!!! I was laughing so hard I could barely read. He talks about how he does the laundry, and loves when the static electricity is such that you can stick socks all over your body. He says he did this one time and his wife walked in and gave him THAT LOOK. I don't know why but this just utterly cracked me up! Maybe because it is something I would do, and my kids would look at me like I am nuts! And then join me! (However dryer sheets have eliminated static cling... maybe I need to stop using them). He then talks about when his washing machine stopped working and describes it as this monster doing a herky-jerky across the floor coming at him with froth in its mouth. It was just so funny.

My daughter performed in her play at school tonight - they did the Homer play The Odyssey. She was the "old woman" who narrated and she had very long monologs she memorized, and she did awesome! The school had the kids' work on Greek History displayed, and there were these quotes on one student's poster that I liked:

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. -Euripides ~400BC

I like the quote because I am in this situation with a (former) friend. And having interacted with enough foolish people, I find it is very true that people who can't or don't want to see your perspective typically will deny, and flip it back on you. Life is too short to associate with people who don't show you respect, in my opinion (Ralph Waldo Emerson had a quote on some stationary I had as a kid, that I didn't understand at all then but I do as an adult: "I have found that to be around those I like is enough.")

Friends are allowed mistakes for sure, but when you point something out that crosses a boundary or you find offensive or hurtful, to maintain the friendship it's then their obligation out of love and respect to stop that which seems disrespectful - or to try. But when they don't or won't - you walk away and close that door. I put up with enough narcissism when I was a child to easily recognize it in people! It's very frustrating because friendships are important to me, and I don't walk away from them easily. The only friends I've ever lost are those who refused to tell me what the problem was, and instead walked away because it was "easier" - or those who refused to respect when I told them I didn't like some behavior. I don't know a problem ever solved by time alone.


Sus said...

Wow, they did The Odyssey? Interesting.

"Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. -Euripides ~400BC"

*ROFL* This must explain why the guy that cut me off on the hwy this afternoon flipped me off!!!

boho girl said...

i must get that book. the whole socks all over his body bit made me crack up out loud too!

i found you through Wendee. i think i was attracted to the name of your blog. *wink, wink*

i admire the way you think.

Michael said...

Yeah, what kind of excellent school did you find where they teach your kids ancient Greek literature? And what grade level of kids were doing the Odyssey? & did the script do Homer justice? Years ago in my first church (which was in S. Texas), a teenage parishioner was in a community theatre version of "The Hobbit" that was so pathetically watered down that I was afraid he (an intelligent fellow) would never touch Tolkien with a ten-foot pole.