Hawaii, Ecotopia, Mongabay, Africa!

Pololu Point Lookout, Hawaii (the Big Island). Copyright (c) 2014 Wendee Nicole

Hello pumpkins! Soon I will post more photos and update about my week in Hawaii, where I visited my long time friend Elissa (who is a pilot for Mokulele airlines!) and traveled around Oahu and the Big Island (loved Volcanoes National Park!). The house I've lived in for the past decade, where I've raised my sweet children, goes on the market in a couple of days, and when my son goes off to University of Texas this fall, I am moving also, to .... AFRICA!! I am excited and nervous and melancholic all swirled into a bundle. But for the past several weeks, I have been prepping my house, landscaping, painting, fixing stuff (with the help of a dear guy friend - thank God for him!) and now the time has come. Houses are selling like hotcakes here, and I hope and pray it sells quickly and for what I am asking, as some of that money will be used to fund the nonprofit I've founded with a friend from Africa!

Check out our new website, which I designed, for the Redemption Song Foundation, and please "like" us on Facebook too! Our vision is "empowering youth through education, poverty alleviation, spiritual development and song" and we are accepting donations via the link on our website (or by check, but you have to send to me for now... I'm in the process of registering the "dba" and the other info for us before I move). We are providing school fees and basic necessities like food, clothing and hygiene /medical care information. We have plans for other exciting projects, like income-generating activities for older youth. One of the problems in the area is that the most impoverished girls and women can't afford menstrual pads, and they use leaves, dirty rags, etc, and we want to provide pads to these to girls, and create an income stream to those working on the pad project, making them using a cool machine made by an Indian entrepreneur (profiled on the BBC and in the new documentary, Menstrual Man). They often drop out of school when they start their periods. Some organizations provide hygiene packs to girls, but not everywhere - there is a big need. We will be starting an Indiegogo campaign to raise money for this soon.

I have had two more feature articles come out under my Mongabay Special Reporting Initiative Grant! Check them out:

• Tipping the scale: How a political economist could save the world’s forests

  
  “[T]here’s a five-letter word I’d like to repeat and repeat and repeat: Trust.” Thus spoke Elinor Ostrom in her 2009 Stockholm lecture, when at age 77 she became the first woman to receive the Nobel Prize in Economics. She’d spent a lifetime traveling the world and observing everyday citizens cooperating against all odds. Ostrom frequently encountered groups of people managing commonly shared resources, creating systems based on trust, such as peasant farmers in Nepal cooperatively managing simple irrigation systems, and people working to solve human-wildlife conflict with forest elephants in Kenya. Such collective behavior flew in the face of the longstanding theory of the day, which said that people will selfishly take whatever they can, ultimately causing a “tragedy of the commons.”

• Ecotopia emerging: Sustainable forests and healthy livelihoods go hand in hand

  
  Callenbach's 1975 utopian novel Ecotopia became wildly popular among environmental-leaning folks, hippies, and progressive thinkers of the day. The rebels who founded Ecotopia believed human health and livelihoods can coexist with nature, and built their nation For a book that has fallen mostly off the radar, outside of a smattering of college classes and small-scale environmental movements, certain aspects of Ecotopian society fall remarkably in line with research by Economics Nobel Laureate Elinor Ostrom, and more recently the work of Arun Agrawal, a scholar who studied under Ostrom. Research - described in this piece - discusses how decentralization of conservation policies and intrinsic motivations to preserve the environment are found in time-tested research, as well as the almost prophetic writings of Callenbach some 40 years before.

A green sea turtle we saw while snorkeling in Paradise Cove on Oahu. Copyright (c) 2014 Elissa Zavora. Love this image!! So cool! It was an amazing experience to swim next to the turtle, and another one showed up too! More to come. Love to you all!

summer love!

The sunny blue summer sky ... shot while laying out in my backyard.
Copyright (c) 2013 Wendee Nicole

"Step out in faith despite vibrating from fear. Don't go to the grave with cool visions shriveling up and dying inside of you." - Hybels

If you follow me on Twitter or Instagram you may have seen most of these pictures but since I'm sure most people don't just sit around stalking me all day, I thought I'd share some photos from my summer of love... it has been a great summer so far! I am feeling so grateful in my heart for so many things, and even in the wake of one of the saddest losses and disappointments of my life, I have found a deep sense of peace and contentment (ok, I'll give some props to medication)... but seriously, I really have been so happy for the little things.

I'm hopeful and excited - and quite a bit scared at the same time (hence the Hybels quote) - about my future, but it's fun to study for the GRE and think and dream and plan, and the fact that moving out of Texas is a reality in the next year is exhilarating! I've waited far too long! It's funny because as it gets closer, and I'm doing small things to improve my house, I really am starting to appreciate my house so much.  I have so much space here, and this lovely yard, and I've started to plant flowers in my front flower beds and a hibiscus in my back yard, and I love it! I am having so much fun with it. It's funny, my favorite DJ on the radio - Brant Hansen ("a nerd who loves God") on Air 1 (a national station - check it out!) talked about how if you look at every item in your life like it was the only remaining item after a shipwreck, how much wonder and excitement and appreciation we'd have over that one item... I started to look at some things in that way and it's really kind of cool. So I thought I'd share some photos, in batches. First up are the photos of the flowers I've planted in my yard. Some haven't fared so well but it's fun to try and experiment!

This was from the first batch of flowers I bought: purple coneflower (Echinacea) and Gaillardia. The Gaillardia have died... and the coneflower plants are doing well but they're not flowering anymore. But they're perennial so hopefully they'll root and do even better next spring and summer. I love them and they do really well in the Texas heat.

I love this pic! We've had quite a bit of rain, and a little mushroom fest grew up in the midst of my side flowerbed. The orange cosmos (my absolute favorite so far) are doing fabulous! The white flowers are cool - they only bloom until about mid-day.

This is Sam watering after we first planted the coneflowers and Gaillardia. We had to weed this whole bed out. I'm not a big fan of azaleas, but they've done great for many years so I kept them in the bed.

I am a big fan of the wildflower look and these Cosmos are great. They're annuals, but apparently seed easily so hopefully they'll come back next year. Or I'll just buy more!

I used to have a giant hibiscus in my backyard and it croaked after a hard freeze we had several yers back. I planted a new one, a small one, in the same spot and it's thriving! It has blooms all the time, and I love it!

One day it had three blooms. Lovely!

I bought this cute little Welcome sign too. Those yellow flowers there? They croaked.

This is a shot of the yellower flowers that croaked. Ha. I bought these ones ate Walmart - figures - and they were blooming like mad but quickly died. I thought they were Brown-eyed Susans but I think they were Zinnias because they didn't tolerate the heat and sun at all.

My latest batch of flowers from the local hardware store (their flowers are all locally grown and they've fared much better than the Walmart ones). I don't even know what these are... I should pay better attention! I also bought this super cute bird thingie on the right at 75% off! It was only like $13 (originally 50-something) and (see below) I hung it in my backyard.

Doesn't it look cool hanging on the corner of my house?! I want to put a plant in there.

This looks like a hibiscus but the flowers are way smaller (can't tell from this image) and they hang down so you really can't see the blooms the way you can a hibiscus blooms (this is some tricky photography). They're a type of mallow.

Ha! I am enjoying putting fresh flowers in my bathroom. Can you see me in the window taking the picture? And my "Bohemian" perfume?

Next up...
MY  BIRTHDAY!

For brunch I went out with my kiddos to Cafe DuBois, a little French cafe. They made this cute dessert plate for me after our meal.

It is so nice to hang out with my daughter, even though she gets annoyed with my silliness sometimes! :) I told her, I have to be myself, and that self is silly! I have always been that way!

And then I had an awesome birthday party that evening! I didn't even get photos that night except this one of the cake Elise brought, and the one below of us playing poker later. We had a great time! And no time for pics! :)

I doubled my money playing Texas Hold Em! :) My friend Eileen was a beginner and she won the most! 

My friend Linda made this gorgeous fused glass necklace for me and gave it to me for my birthday! I love it! I love my friends!

Next up... 

A quick trip to AUSTIN!

I brought Sam and his best friend Zack to Austin to look at UT. We only stayed one night but we did a lot of stuff. The first day, we met up with my friend Deb and went to Zilker Park and swam in Barton Springs. It was cold! But once you're in, it's not bad at all, and feels great. I didn't get any photos of that though. But before I get to this photo of Congress Avenue above, we first went to dinner...

Deb and I at dinner (at Shady Grove restaurant), post-swim! She is the producer of the documentary How I Became an Elephant, filmed by my friend Tim Gorski who I met while trekking in Nepal.

Another shot of the Congress Avenue bridge with people lining it, waiting for... the bat emergence! I have written about this before in an article for Texas Parks & Wildlife magazine (Attack of the Killer Fungus), and my ex and I brought Sam here when he turned 5 but he didn't remember it. I was happy the bats were there and he got to see them! We had bets on what time, and I picked one minute before they actually emerged - holla!

And there they go!

The following morning, Sam, Zack and I went on a tour of the UT campus for prospective students. I had gone on one of those yearrrrrs ago when I was a senior in high school. I chose Texas A&M (Lord knows why! I'm so much more inclined to UT! but I woudn't have met my ex, and wouldn't have had my amazing babies! So there ya go. It all works out). Anyway Sam liked the campus.

I liked this Martin Luther King, Jr statue. After the tour, we grabbed lunch with my awesome Texas Parks & Wildlife magazine editor Louie and some others from the magazine at Kerbey Lane Cafe, which was great. Then we headed home. 

And finally, lots of RANDOM GRATITUDE!

“Gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” ― G.K. Chesterton

My awesome friend Elissa, who pilots small planes in Alaska, came to visit for a long weekend! We lived next door to one another when I was in 7th grade and living in Beaverton (a suburb of Portland), Oregon. And we've kept in touch since, and get along great! I stayed with her when she lived in Bozeman and I was working on that dratted book of mine (see the pics of us at Yellowstone and in Bozeman here). We went downtown, to Rice Village, and just poked around and ate and shopped. It was fun!!!We hung out in my backyard, talked and had a beer or two, and just caught up. She recently spent a year in the Mariana Islands and I really wanted to visit her but didn't get to, so it was great to catch up. And... I'm going to visit her in Juneau in September!

Most of the rest of these pics are in the somewhat random order that they got uploaded in... It sounds silly but I am so grateful for these earrings! I love them so much! I sort of borrowed them from my friend Paige when I visited her at Christmas (wow I just realized I didn't blog those fun pics! I came back from that trip and just emotionally crashed...). Anyway, she gave them to me because I liked them so much. And she'd bought them when we visited Fisherman's Wharf in San Fran a couple years before then so they have special significance to me!

The last 6 weeks or more have been consumed by studying for the GRE. I love this pic of Pippin on my kale chips and GRE book! Yea I know it sorta looks like something else but it's not!! I make kale chips all the time and love them!! And I love love love my kitty! She is the light of my life! (Along with my kids, but they don't really like to snuggle anymore, ha). 

I am such a shrimp next to my son now! I am grateful for my son! He lives with me full time now, and that has been such a blessing. It was heartwrenching when my daughter went to live with her dad for her senior year, and having him around all the time has really brought a lot of joy. He's a great kid (even if he plays video games too much!) He got his first job this summer, and his driver's license (which doubled my insurance - gah).

I have to have some more gratuitous pictures of my kitty. She's my baby! She is so adorbs! And yes, I said adorbs.

She really loves to cuddle. Sometimes it makes it hard to work. Reminds me of the good ol' days when I had babies and toddlers wanting to snuggle! She has the longest arms and she likes to wrap them around me. It's so cute!

I am thankful for my neighborhood pool! I have only gone there a few times but I love the summer sun!  It's not really green... that is just the Instagramification.

Another thing I am grateful for is popcorn and coffee. I think I pretty much live on these and kale chips.

I saw this in my GRE book and thought it was so funny because it's like a super-power! I have fractional powers - here's how to handle then - haha! OK, so I have a nerdy sense of humor...

My friend Stefanie and I hanging out in her backyard after we watched the Bachelorette finale! That was crazy! I can't believe that Reality Steve got it wrong, and she chose Chris and not Brooks. Wow that was a shocker. A good ending. She seems happy, and I'm happy for her. Yes, I do realize I watch a  ridiculous reality TV show but... what can I say. It's my mental Cheetos...

Because my old table literally rotted from the rain, I got a new one this summer! Love it! See the tiny hibiscus in the background? It's small, but a force of awesome.

And, I went to the eye doctor recently and got new hipster glasses. :) I love them! I only got contacts for the first time in 2008, and so my glasses were from way back then so although they still work for me they are a bit outdated fashion-wise.

When Elissa came to visit, I went though some old pictures and albums and found this funny scrapbook thing that I would write in (my aunt Linda gave it to me) and I laughed SO HARD when I read this. I must have been like 14 years old when I wrote this -- though it's possible I filled that part in during high school) but it asks what advice you would give to your daughter about marriage, and I wrote, "Don't put up with any of his bullshit." Bwahaha!!!! Honestly I think I must have written that in high school because I don't think I cussed when I got this in middle school. But it still cracks me the heck up!

I found this way cool cicada shell in my backyard. Poor guy, he's just a shell of his former self. #nerdhumor

It has been a blessing to see my daughter almost every week this summer. She leaves for UT- Dallas for college NEXT WEEK!! She's majoring in neuroscience but may change to visual communications/social media or something. She started a new business, Bright Lights Designs - check it out on ETSY(where you can actually order) or Like the Bright Lights Design Facebook page! She is creating and selling photographic and artistic prints to raise money for orphans in China and to fund her own trip to China hopefully next summer! 

I went to Dallas to visit my mom in July, and saved those pictures for a future post, because I'll be going up to Dallas again at the end of the month to see Savannah in her dorm, meet her roomies, and get HER tour of the campus so I'll post all those pics together. Plus I'll tell the story of the elephants, and my grandmother and Stanford and my path...

Savannah and I last week when we went shopping at the mall. I love this munchkin so much!!! She even let me take a pic with her smiling normally - that is amazing!

Last but not least, my favorite summer song!! Just say Jesus by 7eventh Time Down. It's really rockin' and kick butt!! I am soooo grateful for Air1, and the DJs that make me laugh and smile all day. Brant is so random and weird, so unlike any other DJ - it;'s totally fricking awesome. I recommend it! Especially if you are down or struggling for any reason. They are a huge blessing on the earth! (and you can listen online...)  

Thanksgiving: a month of gratitude

Starry starry night! Moody Gardens Festival of Lights the day after Thanksgiving. Copyright (c) Wendee Nicole 2012

Happy post-Thanksgiving and now onto Advent season - time is flying! I had a really beautiful Thanksgiving with my mom, stepdad and son. For Thanksgiving month, I posted daily gratitude to Facebook, and I thought I'd share the ones I have done thus far in the month of November with you all - and one of them from Thanksgiving day details what made Thanksgiving so special, so I won't repeat that here.

I actually keep a daily gratitude journal in which I write down 5 things I am grateful for before going to sleep. Sometimes it's actually hard to come up with them... on an off day. But they don't have to be related to that particular day, so sometimes it's as simple as "I love my bed!" I have found, over the years, my gratitude list often relates to a phone call or a visit with a friend at Starbuck's. The second most common are when I get or complete a writing assignment! What about you? Do you have a gratitude journal, or notice particular things showing up over and over?

Here is my November special gratitude list, in reverse order.

11/27 Today I give gratitude for the struggles that I face and have faced in my past and for the life lessons I have learned from them. I just emerged (am emerging) from an extremely difficult year in my life, mostly due to a struggle with my teen daughter (who I also am very grateful for). It has been heartbreaking and nearly tore me in two, and I still don't know the outcome of this situation. I was worried for my very life for a few months, but thankfully have emerged from the deepest depths of despair I faced a year ago. I seem to have lost a couple of friends in the darkest of times even when I needed them most. I still give thanks because in the darkest times, the Lord spoke this verse to me, "[W]e also rejoice in sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts..." Romans 5:3-5. And I would repeat that, and sometimes write it in my gratitude journal, "I am thankful for my suffering, because it brings hope." Sometimes, even now, I have nothing left but hope. And I do cling to that hope in bringing a positive outcome to the painful events of the recent year.

11/26 I am grateful for my amazing dad, Thomas Finlay, and all the life lessons he imparted through his love of the land, nature, progressive thought, intellectualism, and so much more. I am so grateful to have lived like a "Little House in the Big Woods" pioneer in the 1970s like so few others in the US have lived - outhouse, woodstoves for cooking and heating, raising our own chickens and veggies, and so much more. I'm grateful that he fought for custody of me when I was just 8, and the life lesson I learned that I could affect the direction of my own life, and that my opinion was worth listening to. ♥ you dad! http://bohemianadventures.blogspot.com/2011/06/crackerbox-palace.html

11/25 I am thankful for my writing career! I have gotten to do so many cool things (dive with sharks: http://bit.ly/Tnty7K), trek through Nepal in search of red pandas: http://bit.ly/rTBXpz), search for cassowaries in the Australian jungle: (http://bit.ly/UF41G0), & explore the Amazon Rainforest (http://bit.ly/Qi4AH7) just to name a few! I love writing about science, the environment and my biggest passion: wildlife!

11/24 I am grateful for being able to run, and that I started running when I was in 9th grade and never stopped… exercise is a joy to me and always has been.

11/23 Yesterday's gratitude: I am thankful for all God's creatures. I love love love wildlife and most of the items on my bucket list involve seeing animals in the wild :) I also love my kitty cats!

11/22 Today I am thankful for a wonderful Thanksgiving Day with my mom, my stepdad and my son. My mom and I took a bike ride to Starbuck's and the weather was delicious - sunny and yet cool with a slight wind - tantalizingly perfect. I loved the sound of my bike tires crunching the sycamore leaves on the path, and the five brown pelican perched on a log in the San Jacinto River we rode across. And how I love the San Jacinto River, my river... with the trees all changing color... and I'm so appreciative and thankful for my mom, and all she and my stepdad have done for me in my life, much of which I didn't appreciate until well far longer than it should have taken me. I'm thankful they paid for my college and college wasn't even an option -- I was going (well my stepdad did want me to pay my way, like he did, but my mom would have none of it. She'd never been to college, and I was going). I'm thankful for the forgiveness and love she has always shown me even when I have treated her badly, and that she will always love me with a mother's love. ♥

11/21 Today: I am deeply thankful for the peace – lack of war - I experience in my city, in my nation and in the places I have traveled. Even so, I am always cognizant of those experiencing war and violence abroad – let us never grow complacent of what others suffer. (And I am thankful for the cease fire in Gaza...)

11/20 Today I’m thankful for the golden hour, and the way the world looks in these beautiful moments of dusk. Tonight on my run, the golden sun illuminated the palmettos, sweet gums, and hickory trees on my favorite part of the path, and it was just lovely.

11/19 Today I'm thankful for love. In the words of Alfred Tennyson: "I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all."

11/18 I am thankful for the writers and thinkers who have most influenced my thinking, my faith, my outlook, and who have inspired me (in no particular order - though Scott Peck is definitely #1 on the list for a reason): M. Scott Peck, Anne Lamott, Alanis Morissette, Beth Moore, Christy Nockels, Liz Gilbert, Henri Nouwen, John Lennon, Jesus, Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr., Oprah Winfrey, Debbie Ford, Bill Moyers, Jane Goodall, Dian Fossey, Paul Cox, Helen Keller, George Orwell, Philip Yancey, CS Lewis, JRR Tolkien, Martin Luther, Harville Hendrix, Byron Katie. Saint Augustine, Melody Beattie, Rob Bell, Miguel Ángel Ruiz.

11/17 I forgot my gratitude yesterday - oops! So here's yesterdays: I am grateful for my sweet son Sam, who is kind, gentle-spirited, funny, smart and a gift from God to my life! ♥

11/16 Today I am thankful for a strong and healthy body! I am grateful I can work out, walk, ride bikes, run, hang upside down from the monkey bars :) I am thankful I have excellent health as do my children! A very big blessing I never take for granted, especially since as I age I know that things will start to hurt, ache, and become more difficult. Today, I live in the moment and appreciate what is!

11/15 Today I'm thankful for these beaded coasters because they represent a pivotal moment in my life when I realized I didn't need to wait for my husband (at the time) to make me happy by doing what I wanted. The responsibility for my happiness resided with me & so I went out & bought my own Xmas gift that I wanted. A small insignificant thing but truly groundbreaking in its implications.

11/14 Today I am thankful for my house, my home. I love it. It's been an awesome place to live for the past several years: safe neighborhood, spacious, colors on the walls, comfortable and I have loved having my own home as a single mom, and I'm proud of it! It's a great place to raise kids, and I will miss it when I move on from here in 2 years (the house, and my friends, but not Texas!) :)

11/13 Today I am thankful for my sweet kitten Pippin, who has given me much needed cuddles and sweetness in this phase of my life when I so need it!

11/12 Today I am thankful for sunshine! I love love love the sunshine!!!!

11/11 Today I am thankful for my friends around the world. You have no idea how much you mean to me, how you are all my dearest family and have touched my life beyond measure. Whether we are close now or were once, I will always love you all and be here for you, as you have been there for me, You are all the best people in the world and my life was forever changed by knowing you!

11/10 Today I am thankful for the gift of sight. What would the world be without it? As a fan of Helen Keller from a young age, I have always been aware and grateful for this amazing gift!

11/9 Today I am thankful for the awesome variety of fruits and vegetables and foods that are available to me, and relatively inexpensive! What a blessing!

11/8 Today I am thankful for freedom of speech -- that I live in a country where I am free to speak my mind. This right is one of the world's most precious.

11/7 Today, I am so so thankful that Obama was re-elected. It feels like a huge weight lifted off of me. I am grateful that he can fight for the concerns that I have as a citizen: global climate change, equality for all, sound science, continuing to improve the economy. I am so proud of people for getting out the vote, and though our country is in many ways divided, I am grateful for this amazing democracy. I put up with 4 extra years of Bush and survived, and now it's time for those who feel as I did then to suck it up and deal. Maybe, even, give him a chance. Bush, after all, is the one who gave us this massive deficit. So there ya go! It feels like a brand new day!

11/6 Today I am thankful for: butterscotch. Yum.

11/5 Today I'm thankful for these crisp fall mornings when I can wake leisurely, cuddled under my down comforter, read & drink tea (or, I was until my annoying cat started clawing at the carpet under the door... but I digress). Im thankful that I can work from home & set my own hours like this :)

love, self-sabotage and chocolate

White calla lily, Green Gulch San Francisco Zen Center. Copyright (c) 2007 Wendee Holtcamp

Sonnet 13

And wilt thou have me fashion into speech
The love I bear thee, finding words enough,
And hold the torch out, while the winds are rough,
Between our faces, to cast light on each?—
I drop it at thy feet. I cannot teach
My hand to hold my spirit so far off
From myself—me—that I should bring thee proof
In words, of love hid in me out of reach.
Nay, let the silence of my womanhood
Commend my woman-love to thy belief,—
Seeing that I stand unwon, however wooed,
And rend the garment of my life, in brief,
By a most dauntless, voiceless fortitude,
Lest one touch of this heart convey its grief

- Elizabeth Barrett Browning

I opened up my chocolate bar (organic fair trade dark chocolate currants and almonds) and there was this poem that spoke to my heart. I bought the bar specifically for the poem, as all these Chocolove bars have inside. I remember reading one from one of the best moments in my life, my Thanksgiving spent in solitude and gratitude at Owl Mountain near Abiquiu, New Mexico back in 2005 - the John Donne poem in my post chocolate foibles, about unintentionally eating maggot-infested chocolate - yum!

I started the Debbie Ford online class, Overcoming Self Sabotage, along with a small discussion group of friends and colleagues to share lessons with. I've also been listening to Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now on audio-CD and when his voice doesn't put me to sleep -- it is very relaxing and calming, and wise, but sometimes that isn't good when you're on a road trip -- I have gained some wonderful insights. As far as style, I think I prefer A New Earth (which I blogged about here and here and here) but this is good too. I really am fascinated by the concept of the pain body. He describes it as "accumulated pain [that] is a negative energy field that occupies your body and mind." It gets activated and overcomes us at certain times, but it is not us. I am not my pain body. It is an "involuntary acting out of old patterns."

It would do wonders if people could see that when someone's pain body is activated, it is not them. They are acting from the ego, from unconsciousness. Yes, ultimately an individual is responsible for actions made during any time, but when recognizing that someone's pain body is activated, you can step back and witness and not judge, not react, and not be so affected by things. Easier said than done, perhaps, but worth trying.

Other bits of wisdom that resonated:

"If the pain body takes you over, [an enlightened or conscious] partner will not mistake it for 'who you are.'"

"Humanity is under great pressure to evolve because it is our only chance of survival as a race."

"The ego believes through negativity it can manipulate reality to get what it wants."

"As long as you make an identity out of pain, as long as your sense of self involves embracing pain, you cannot be free. You will unconsciously resist or sabotage every attempt to heal your pain because you want to keep 'yourself' intact and the pain is a part of you."

This last one was very profound for me. Oprah did an online study of A New Earth and has an exercise related to dissolving the pain body. At any rate, I also hope to share more insights from the Self-Sabotage class since I am the Queen of Self-sabotage, but alas, not today.

I just returned from a wonderful visit to Austin for the SXSW-Eco conference, and got to visit and stay with my friend Deb, who is a documentary producer and is involved with the new film (also by my friends I trekked through Nepal with in 2007- Tim Gorski and Jon Kane) How I Became an Elephant. I also stayed with new friend, former film exec Kee Kee Buckley who traveled solo across the U.S. with her dog Yoda in her Prius, "Princess Leia" and is now writing a book about her adventure. You can read some of her journey at her blog Seeking Shama and not only that, she will appear on Friday's Ricki Lake show "How to Stop Stress from Killing You." Oh, and I should mention that she blogged about giving and receiving, touched by the story of the "free car" I received in a divine act of providence! I truly love connecting with friends, old and new - it makes me feel alive and not so alone in the universe to connect and share wisdom, stories, and love with fellow truth sojourners!

SXSW-Eco was pretty cool, but I was a bit of an emotional wreck to be honest, and keep forgetting things (I'm going through some intensely challenging emotional stuff with my daughter). The highlights of the conference for me included hearing Annie Leonard, who created the short film The Story of Stuff -- she is a rock star -- and Bill McKibben, Larry Schweiger and Ted Nordhaus in this incredible session called The New Environmentalists. I will be writing about some other ideas that came out of the conference. I will keep you all posted when the articles come out.

Meanwhile here are a couple articles that came out in the latest Environmental Health Perspectives:

• Are Compact Fluorescent Lights dangerous? Ultraviolet leaks from CFLs. My latest article in Env Health Perspectives (PDF version). Oct 2012.
• Pattern of Clues: Evidence of Distinct DNA Methylation in Newborns of Smoking Women. Oct 2012.

Heading to Wisconsin. Cheese anyone?

 Mount Kanchenjunga in eastern Nepal, the world's third tallest peak (or, "how a Texas-sunshine-lover views the frigid far north of Wisconsin, where I am heading...").
Copyright (c) 2007 Wendee Holtcamp.

In a couple days I embark on my next adventure. This time it's to the far north! Well far enough that my memory of the place is that my boogers froze and my nose turned red and icy between my front door and the bus stop, which actually was directly outside of my house. Yep, I lived in Minneapolis, Minnesota for a couple of years of my life - 8th and 9th grade - and about the ONLY thing I remember from that time (besides my friends) was the cold-ass winters. Only I didn't call them that, then. I had moved there from Portland, Oregon, where I'd only spent a year, and from there I moved to Houston where I graduated from high school. I made some great friends there, and yet despite my connecting with friends from almost every other place in the US where I have lived, I have never seen any of my friends from Minneapolis since high school. That is about to change!

Technically, what brings me to the far north is a really cool conference: Science Writing in an Age of Denial, held at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. I heard about it a few months back and just knew I had to be there. What a cool topic! As some of you know, the whole issue surrounding evolution and Christianity is a long-time passion of mine, and so this was something I really wanted to write about (and yes, I have an assignment!). It's a 2-day conference, and I'm really excited about it. I'll be staying at the Wisconsin Union hotel, which looks pretty nice and is adjacent to where the conference events are held.

But here's the even cooler part: I will be seeing two of my friends from Minneapolis while there! First, I have a three-hour layover in Minneapolis so my friend Kris is picking me up from the airport and taking me by my old house, and then out to eat yummy Thai food or something. We are both super excited.

And then, after the conference, I will be spending a day and a half with my other friend Theresa, who is driving to Madison from Minneapolis to visit me. We have found a super cool looking B&B that is ecofriendly. I got a recommendation from some other writers and local Madisonites, and this one was the coolest I could find. It's called Token Creek Eco-Inn and we are staying in the Capitol Room Suite! Other than that, Theresa and I have planned to go visit this cool thing about an hour outside Madison called House on the Rock. I don't know a whole lot about it but Theresa wanted to go and it looks way cool!

Oh - ha ha - I have to mention a funny conversation I had with Theresa about the weather there. I was like, what has the weather been? She was all, it's warm like 60 in the day and 40-50 at night. And I was all, in Texas, that is winter weather, and I would wear jeans and a hat and a sweater. She was like, ha ha everyone here is putting on summer shorts and t-shirts! Then she added, you will want to bring a light jacket or something for evening, and I'm all uh-huh right, I will pack my down North Face jacket! :)

Nepal photos - red pandas, Himalayas and more

An endangered red panda - aka the firefox - in eastern Nepal. Copyright (c) 2007 Wendee Holtcamp

I am excited about a new documentary being produced by my friend Tim Gorski of Rattle the Cage Productions - How I Became an Elephant.

I met Tim and other members of his film crew (including Jon Kane, who did some video on the new documentary) while trekking through Nepal in 2007 and after this he moved to Thailand and began filming elephants. I'm not sure the backstory of how this film came about but it looks amazing. It tells the story of the 14-year old Juliette, who became passionate about saving the elephants of Thailand. I know that Tim has lived in Chiang Mai for some time filming and researching this story, as well as the undercover wildlife trade.

He and his colleagues are raising funds for post-production, so by all means if this is the kind of work you like to support I give my wholehearted endorsement of Tim and his work! You can donate here and it's a nonprofit, so a fully tax deductible donation. After seeing the sneak peek, I started looking through my Nepal photos and realized that I still have not put many on the blog so with that, here are some final photos. [Past blog posts with Nepal images are here: Thank You India, Idrinkmypee.com and other Nepal stories, powerful and sad (orphanage in Kathmandu), it's not my imagination (jetlag, that is), Reflections on non-attachment and jetlag from hell (the best of my images are in these last 3). And then there's this funny story about what happened in Nepal... Speaking of butt hairs.]

You can read the article I wrote for National Wildlife mag, Fighting for the Firefox, online. I also wrote a travel piece for Travel Channel Online: Trekking through Nepal's Grand Ridges.

This is the whole group me on the left, next to Mickey, Mei-Ling. Behind Mei-Ling is Brian Williams, head of the Red Panda Project, to his left is Tim and to his Jon. I don't know anyone else's name except for Sonam (2nd from left on back row) and Kamal (to his right). The photos was actually at the end of our trip but just thought I'd put it here to show you peeps.We were on a quest to find red pandas in the wild! And we saw 3 different individuals. Very few Westerners have seen red pandas in the wild. So I feel lucky! We were not guaranteed to see them either. We had some fantastic trackers who found them almost on the last day of our trek. I don't think I have published most of these photos before! Aren't they cute!!They walk pretty slowly and don't get scared of people. They let us watch for a long time. Their underbelly is black, strangely enough!
I really like this image; the yellow leaves complement the panda well. And a closer up view of the same photo.The image is a little dark but it's so cute!
Before we got to eastern Nepal, we spent some time in Kathmandu. This is a rickshaw driver. Notice how very narrow the streets are, and they have not only people and rickshaws but also cars!!Want meat?No horn zone!A set of bells at the Monkey Temple or Swayambhunath stupa. There are a zillion stairs to get up to the top! I published a couple of pics from there in previous blogs but here are a couple more.
I love this photo! Macaques are everywhere at the monkey temple. I actually never saw any in the wild once we left Kathmandu.Another photo of monkeys at the temple. One of the many Buddhas at the monkey temple.
The river in Kathmandu was so filled with trash. Nasty!
So we set out on our journey, after flying from Kathmandu to somewhere in eastern Nepal that I should remember but I don't. I'll have to ask Brian, our fearless leader - Executive Director of the Red Panda Network. From left, this is Chuckles Borromeo, Mickey Mestel, Brian Williams and Tim.
Me hiking through the mountains.
Clouds would come and go, so the temperature during the day would switch between being freezing and then needing to strip down to a tank top when the sun came out. At night, it was always freezing and I wore every single layer I had to bed! This is a random town in eastern Nepal that we stopped in. I don't remember. We got a kick out of the shirt the little girl had on - Iron Maiden! I'm assuming it was some hand-me-down rather than the fact that she was a fan... The kids in this and other towns would just stare at us like we were so interesting and odd. I love this series of photos. The home and window and the kids - all are so photogenic. The brother and sister took turns looking through the window and then they came outside.
I went with Brian and Kamal to set up a photo camera to try to catch snapshots of the red pandas. It took a good while and during that time the sun went down and I got some amazing photos! See below...
Kamal and Brian setting up the camera. We found red panda poo nearby, which was a good sign!
LOVE this photo. One of my faves. I believe the trees are the very rare Himalayan yew. We only saw them in this one spot.
This photo was snapped before the other one actually.

As it got darker and the sun set below the horizon it turned pink and blueish.Gorgeous! Such a treasure to be able to see the sky change so dramatically.
This is a boy who lived near where we stayed one night, camping in their yard basically! It was near the town of Sandakpur on the India-Nepal border. As this Wikipedia article on the Ilam district says, it is the highest point at 3,000 meters. I thought it was higher than that (that's about 9,000-something feet). Hmm. Here's a map that was on the India border.
A map we saw earlier in the trek - um, I dont think I can read this one! This was one of the last nights there, at a tea plantation we camped at. This is Mei-Ling and Brian overlooking the tea field.We saw a lot of Tibetan prayer flags.
The Himalayas! We were in the "foothills" at 10-12,000 feet, the highest we got, which is high atop the Rocky Mountains in the US!
One of our campsites along the way.
Another of our tents.
Another shot of the clouds that descended on us as we hiked.
Not sure where this was taken.
More houses. They were often quite colorful. A woman and her photogenic home. It seems like one of the Three little pigs homes that if the big bad wolf huffed and puffed it would blow down though!
Mei-Ling and Brian talking in the town of Maimajhuwa where Brian moderated a meeting of all the "forest guardians" in the area - a program he started in order to help protect the red panda. You can read more about it in my National Wildlife Magazine article! I think we may have hand-washed a few items of clothing. I washed my hair!! I was the only one to do so I think the whole trip - ha.The forest guardians and some of the members of the Red Panda Network.We stayed with a family the night of the forest guardian meeting. Tim, Mickey and I stayed with this family and Mei-Ling and Brian stayed with another family. The room where they cooked became verrry smoky!Tim in his room, the next morning. Interesting how they put newspaper on the walls. In my room, whoever's room it was, they actually had a prominent, framed photo of Britney Spears kissing Madonna. Yep. Strange but true. If we got lucky (ha) there was a toilet. Toilets in the east are just holes that you squat over. Oops, they didn't have space for that final T!Rhododendrons in the mist.
Corn and other crops outside a home.
A lady with a nose ring. I think that we didn't see a lot of women with noserings and I'm not sure what they signify.
The two cute kids at the home of the above lady.
Nepali kids are so photogenic!