Friday, October 07, 2005

caught in the tsunami

I just awoke from a nightmare. I used to have them a lot as a child but honestly I haven't had one in years and years. I always sleep well and easily. It wasn't a terror but a fear dream. In it, I was on a beach and there was an old rickety board that led out to a platform (sort of like pier but it was concrete) where there was something I had to retrieve. I think it was a surfboard and now that I think about it I recall thinking in my dream that having it would impress somebody. But I was going out to get it for someone else and thinking I was being brave. The rickety board was scary but I went fearlessly across and got the surfboard, but then somehow I got washed by a wave into the water. I remember the water was beautiful and clear, like Hawaii and the beach was tantalizingly close. I was in the water which was calm, but I looked oceanward and a huge wave was coming toward me and some radio voice or something told me that there was some barrier on the beach that had created this huge wave and it was slowly but powerfully coming at me. I felt gripped with fear but at the same time the little sarcastic voice in me was saying something like, "oh great." I felt I knew I could get out, but I wasn't for sure, but at the same time I wasn't sure how I got into that mess. It seems pretty symbolic. I'm exhausted and I'm going back to bed. Its been a bad couple of days and I can't seem to do anything right!

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