Thich Nhat Hahn, Jesus, Water, Blood and Flowers

A photo my daughter took of me today by the red LOVE mosaic my kiddos gave me for Mother's Day. It goes great over the red brick fireplace, don't ya think?

Each of us is a flower of humanity and if you are not smiling, something is wrong. You have to breathe in for the flower to be in touch with the water of life, in order to be refreshed and smiling like the flower." Thich Nhat Hanh, audio-CD of Peacemaking.

There's something about the way Vietnamese Buddhist monk and Nobel Prize nominee Thich Nhat Hanh speaks - slowly in his Vietnamese accent and with a smile in his voice - when you hear him say things like the statement above (which reads almost cliche and silly when written down), it sounds utterly wise and profound. These words are, in the words of Zen Buddhism, a kōan, something to be wrestled with and questioned and thought about. At face value, the truth in the words seems simple enough, but it holds yet a deeper truth. Golden apples inside a silver bowl.

Jesus spoke in kōans. You often hear it said that he spoke in parables. He spoke of things that at the time, made people think he was a nutjob. One of my favorite parts of his teaching is when he started telling everyone that if they wanted to follow him, they were going to have to drink his blood and eat his flesh. I can imagine like 90% of the crowd disappeared. I can see them exchanging glances and quietly slinking away. When you read the text before that bit, you can tell he was getting increasingly worked up and belligerent like he was trying to freak people out or something to see what they would do (This is in John 6). And they left. "On hearing it, many of his disciples said, 'This is a hard teaching. Who can accept it?' ... From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him."

This is why I like Rob Bell so much. Bell, a pastor of the Mars Hill Bible church in Michigan and author of Love Wins, The Velvet Elvis and SexGod, is a genius. But anyway, he talks about the figurative meaning of many Bible passages rather than focusing so much on the literal view which the church has gotten so distracted and sidetracked from the deeper message that Jesus brought. Jesus also talks about being the living water, and so that is why the quote above so resonated with me. Truth is truth, it is universal. And it is true that when we are not drinking of the water of life, we are not smiling - like the flower.

But drinking in the water, drinking the blood, is not so simple as... it sounds. We Christians now have communion and we take it for granted what Jesus meant. But is that what - or all - he meant? What does it really mean to commune with God, to drink his blood and eat his flesh? Is it to share also in his sufferings? To eat and drink of the type of life he lived. People can read the Bible, fold their hands and get down on their knees and pray, go to church and still not blossom like the flower. So what makes a person smile like the flower? What does it mean to truly drink of the living water? To drink of the blood? Are you smiling like the flower? And if not, why? That is your kōan to ponder.

Why I am not a Conservative Christian

On the eve of this historic vote that passed healthcare reform in our nation (once Obama signs the bill into law), I am hearing very polarized responses on Facebook among my friends. Some say we are all "doomed." Others are rejoicing. I'm with those rejoicing. It's not perfect, but it is historic, and it begins to bring our country's citizens, myself included, beneficial much-needed change. It will help ordinary citizens to not get crippled with debt from corrupt and greedy health insurance companies who drop them at their whim. It prevents them from rejecting kids and adults due to pre-existing conditions. And it ultimately will reduce the deficit over the long haul (20 years). But with all the Republican opposition to this, I just wanted to share a few articles/commentaries I've read from a Christian perspective that have some interesting food for thought.

They reflect in part my own thoughts and really answer the question of why I am not a "conservative" Christian but proudly a progressive, liberal, whatever youw ant to call me Christian. I don't fit squarely in the liberal box, and I don't like the way conservatives peg "liberals" (especially the likes of the Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter - but I give most conservative Christians a bit more credit then those outspoken and mean-spirited hypocrites). Frankly, I don't understand in any part of my mind, soul or heart how the Republican party has come to be the party of most Christians. It in so many ways opposes the fundamental teachings of Jesus. Here are a few articles that reflect my reasons why. I'd be very interested in your thoughts on these, especially knowing what those who are politically conservative Christians think after you read them.

A MUST-READ for Christians: "Why Conservative Christians So Often Fail the Common Good (Part 2)" by Richard T. Hughes a Religion Professor at Messiah College. ~ Quite simply this is a brilliant and important essay about the Christian faith. Not just important but must-read for anyone who calls themself a Christian, in my opinion, in the modern world! And here's part 1.

Another - "I can't think of one religious reason against health care reform. can you?" Great piece by Paul Raushenbush, an American Baptist minister, Editor of the Huffington Post's Religion section

But I'm going to give a bit more thought to this one which doesn't have to do with healthcare but with Glenn Beck and his not-so-long-ago tirade against churches promoting social justice. Glenn Beck Vs. God: The Bible Speaks For Itself by Christian ethicist Dr. David Gushee.

Gushee posts several Bible verses on justice in contrast to Glenn Beck's tirade against churches that preach about social justice. He includes one of my all-time favorite verses, "What does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?" (Micah 6:8)" As Gushee says, "There really is no theme more central to biblical faith than the matter of justice." Although I would argue grace would be most central, he's right that when it comes to what Jesus actually preached and taught, I agree.

I have often wondered myself why Christians - or churches for that matter - so often fail to actually teach and preach what Jesus did in terms of vocal opposition to hypocritical religious leaders. No one wants to call a spade a spade, but Jesus had no qualms with it. Instead certain religious leaders lambast those outside the faith with differing beliefs, or lump "liberals" into one category (a bad one), while almost always ignoring the vile hypocrisy spouted in the name of Christianity at times (it's been up to the atheists to notice and discuss it, and that has given them great ammunition against the Christian faith). Now I'm not criticizing all Christianity, and certainly not Jesus and the Bible, or I wouldn't be a Christian. I have seen great depths of love coming from the Christian church aka the body of believers and it's why I love this faith now more than ever. Things that come to mind - Christian radio (KSBJ), Beth Moore, Women of Faith, Philip Yancey, Anne Lamott, and my own personal church all promote and practice brotherly and selfless love, kindness, mercy, and self-reflection.

At any rate, Gushee highlights 4 ways that Jesus confronted injustice (with key passages):

1. Jesus confronted the injustice of greed and gross economic exploitation and unfairness. He demanded/invited justice for the poor and hungry (Luke 16:19-31).
   
   
2. Jesus confronted the injustice of domination and bullying and demanded/invited his followers to exercise power in the form of mutual servanthood (Mt. 20:25-26).
   
   
3. Jesus confronted the injustice of violent killing and demanded/invited peacemaking (Mt. 23:37-39).
   
   
4. Jesus confronted the injustice of exclusion from community and demanded/invited into existence a new kind of community in which everyone has a place at the table. (Luke 5:27-32).

And just for kicks, here's just another great resource, Politifact.com,which won the 2009 Pulitzer Prize. It's slogan is "Sorting out the truth in politics."

metamorphosis

Butterflies drinking pee in the sand along the Rio Madre de Dios, Peru.
Copyright (c) 2007 Wendee Holtcamp

I finally have finished all three articles that I had on my plate - whew! I normally feel a sense of relief, but I feel I'm still on the treadmill of work.... I'm going to go have some fun tonight, and then will start working on my book again this weekend. Right now, I'm heading to the gym to get some of this angst off my chest.

Have been doing some soul-searching lately. I'm just about finished with a 12-week "grace group" which is offered at my church and part of the Open Hearts Ministry. It's a program for survivors of abuse of various kinds (they define abuse broadly) and it's actually really amazing and intense. I think every week tears have been shed, sometimes body-wracking sobs. It's one of those "real" groups, where you can push one another's buttons, and yet instead of people walking away - as is my experience when you're not "perfect" (or someone's idea of how you should be), the leaders push you to see your own issues, and help you see them in a new light. As they put it, the point is to cover "shame" with "grace." To be real, but to work through the issues that arise rather than either pretending they don't exist and being polite, or walking away from the situation, you learn to work through them. Not necessarily to always agree, but to agree to love the best in the other person.

Too often, we either project our failures and issues onto others (other-based contempt) or we blame ourselves for everything (self-contempt). One goal of this program is to help people see the past, how it affected our behavior in the present, to see what is needed to move forward, and to reaffirm our worth and dignity, as a loved child of God. It's great because it's not preachy or churchy at all but very very real and down to earth. It's a Christian ministry but they even show how the hyper-churchiness of some people is itself a foil or a learned behavior to avoid the painfulness of facing reality. I'm definitely not of the hyper churchiness type but I use a different persona, a sort of ambivalence persona, where I can go back and forth between two extremes of feelings or thoughts. The program tries to help everyone "diffuse" some of the pain and so that when a certain situation pushes our buttons we don't over-react and revert back to our behaviors. Like everything, it's a process.

For me, I hate being ignored. I hate the space of not-knowing. It drives me bat-shit crazy (pardon the French). I do not like to make assumptions (good or bad) about people, and if anything I often assume the worst possible outcome for myself, while wishing for the best and wishing and not wanting to believe in the sometimes very clear signs in front of me. I like to offer up grace and hope and believe in the best in people (and if that's not confusing enough to read, try living in that space!) :) It is not (obviously) the best thing in the world for me, because I can cling onto hope when hope is a long-dead horse. But I also believe that is how God loves each and every person on earth. I believe there's hope for even the most wretched person to see the light of truth, the light of love, and to catch a glimpse of their own sinfulness in the mirror, even those in the greatest denial. I myself have in the past been in denial of some of my behaviors. And I'm probably in denial still, of something. I see the light in just about every person I meet, even when they later deeply disappoint me. I wish always for a way forward. I believe there always is one, though sometimes it requires time away.

A life of constant seeking and self-introspection I think is the best way to go in order to be honest about how we are, and how we affect others. I wish others would always give me a chance to show my best self, but that chance is not always offered. That's what breaks my heart. Because I do try to be a good friend, and I'm grateful that I have that opportunity to be a friend to so many people who have stayed in my life over the years. My friends are my family. And I truly do love everyone who has come into my life and touched it gently and with love. Even those who have hurt me, whether they meant to or not, I try to offer them prayers and love and hope that one day there will be reconciliation.

Obama's faith

A sleeping sea lion in the Galapagos Islands. What is that little starburst on his forehead?!
Copyright (c) 2007 Wendee Holtcamp

This is a fascinating interview with Barack Obama by Chicago Sun Times journalist (and author of Sin Boldly: A Field Guide to Grace) Cathleen Falsani, Interview with State Sen. Barack Obama about His Faith (I've just discovered her blog, The Dude Abides, which I"m going to link in my blogroll now and follow - she's great! And from the blog you can download the audio version of her book for an MP3 player from the blog via Zondervan publishing...coolio). Anyway the interview with Obama was in 2004 when he was running for the U.S. Senate. This is very similar to how I believe about my own Christian faith as well. If you haven't read his book Dreams from My Father I highly recommend it. The chapter on his altar call and fully embracing the Christian faith (partly due to realizing that you could accept reason and science and logic and still have a Christian faith) - it brought tears to my eyes.

Anyway some snippets from the Falsani interview:

I am a Christian. So, I have a deep faith. So I draw from the Christian faith.

and

Yeah, although I don't, I retain from my childhood and my experiences growing up a suspicion of dogma. And I'm not somebody who is always comfortable with language that implies I've got a monopoly on the truth, or that my faith is automatically transferable to others.

I'm a big believer in tolerance. I think that religion at it's best comes with a big dose of doubt. I'm suspicious of too much certainty in the pursuit of understanding just because I think people are limited in their understanding.

and

Alongside my own deep personal faith, I am a follower, as well, of our civic religion. I am a big believer in the separation of church and state. I am a big believer in our constitutional structure. I mean, I'm a law professor at the University of Chicago teaching constitutional law. I am a great admirer of our founding charter, and its resolve to prevent theocracies from forming, and its resolve to prevent disruptive strains of fundamentalism from taking root ion this country.

As I said before, in my own public policy, I'm very suspicious of religious certainty expressing itself in politics.

Now, that's different form a belief that values have to inform our public policy. I think it's perfectly consistent to say that I want my government to be operating for all faiths and all peoples, including atheists and agnostics, while also insisting that there are values that inform my politics that are appropriate to talk about.

Amen to that!! And also check out this interesting Huffington Post column by Bob Cesca, What Doesn't Kill the Far Right Only Makes them Crazier on the ridiculousness of some of the Right... Seriously people an "Impeach Obama" group on Facebook? He's not even President yet!! Holy cow, can some people get a life?!!!! According to some of the comments on the Facebook page, Dems stole the White House & and God didn't want him there and that's why it's called the White House (Besides the sickening racism in this statement the ludicrousness of the comment in an election that wasn't even close... defies logic). As Cesca wrote:

Shortly after discovering this, I was talking with a colleague and found myself instinctively trying to form a rational argument about why the Facebook members were wrong. It began with the obvious: "He's not even the president yet!" And then, after I segued into Article II and the constitutional grounds for impeachment, I stopped myself. What in name of Randall P. MacMurphy am I doing? Arguing against this crap is like explaining to a meth tweaker that the shadow people aren't real. That's when I decided that it'd be more fun to just infiltrate one of the groups and post comments like, "The moon landing was staged!" and, "Obama is a bionic -- just like his half-aunt! I have proof!"

It made me laugh!

Also check out this moving Open Letter to Barack Obama from Alice Walker, author of the Pulitzer Prize winning novel, The Color Purple.

becoming real

Giving Sam a big hug!
Copyright (c) 2008 Savannah Holtcamp

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you...."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

"I suppose you are real?" said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive. But the Skin Horse only smiled.

"The Boy's Uncle made me Real," he said. "That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."

- Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit Or How Toys Become Real

This morning while getting ready to take Sam to school I was listening to KSBJ, the Christian radio station and a couple of really good songs played, and I just felt this upwelling of joy and love for God, for Christ. Lately I've had experiences where I cared about people who can't seem to return the compassion and understanding and openness with which I try to live my life, and when that happens it's very easy for me to start to question myself. What is wrong with me? How did I contribute to this problem? I see all my flaws and I start to blame myself.

I started to realize that my deep frustration at wanting to connect with people who don't share the interest in connecting back with real intimacy (intimacy was defined in a book I read recently as "the sharing of reality with one another" - how profound!), I realized my feelings must pall in comparison with how God must feel when people do not respond to His overwhelming compassionate merciful love. It's easy to get angry with God or frustrated with God sometimes but I started to feel empathy and comraderie with God. Maybe that sounds weird, but it gave me a greater compassion for reaching those who don't know Christ.

I tend to have more liberal understandings of "salvation" and all that than many but... I definitely believe without a doubt that there is something within the words and wisdom and reality of Jesus that can not be found anywhere else. I have for many years been frustrated with the "church" (but not with Jesus) because of self-righteousness and other typical churchy flaws, but lately I feel I've found my "tribe." Let me explain.

Over the past few weeks, I've felt a fierce determination to seek understanding from this one person who I felt was the only person who could explain a particular situation, and I felt a fierce determination to be understood as I was not as they thought me to be. I wanted them to see and accept my reality, which is intimacy - the sharing of reality. But after an inspiring and confidence-building conversation with someone I deeply respect, who has a lot of training as a counselor and in ministry, I got this wisdom:

* Watch people to see if their feet follow their mouth. In other words, do they do what they say? Do their actions match what their words said they would do? It takes time to know whether people you meet are trustworthy in this manner.

* When people's feet do not match their mouth, they do not know themselves. They are not living emotionally or spiritually mature, connected lives. Although we may not want to totally end a friendship or relationship immediately upon realizing this, why would I want to "listen" to what they say about me, when they don't even know themselves? Why would you put any trust in their words?

This was a huge revelation for me. Especially because in these groups I'm now surrounded by people whose feet do match their mouth, and who accept me as I am, and love and embrace me as flawed but beautiful, a person of dignity, a child of God who has been harmed by some awful stuff in this fallen world, but redeemed and on a right path.

For so many years I never felt I fit in, anywhere. I related better to non-Christians and scientists, many of whom were atheists, because they lived in the real world - they accepted science and the knowledge within and were a bit more progressive in their thinking and highly educated and intellectual and were very real and down to earth and psychologically aware. The non-Christian friends are often spiritual but not religious and many are my absolutely closest friends. But I have a hard time discussing religion in any real deep way with them. We just respected one another's differences. And that's ok. And I never felt I fit in with the Christians because especially in Texas it tends to be more conservative than I am, and I felt judged for having different views rather than embraced because God makes us all unique. And I would get frustrated by some things that happened like being abandoned by the churchy friends when I needed them most (that was years ago now).

But recently in a few groups I'm in at my church, I've found Christians who are deep, genuine, raw, gritty, real, honest. They are not afraid to share their flaws and lessons learned and current struggles, no matter how potentially embarrassing or humiliating. They are open and real. Of course all that is shared is confidential but the courage to be so open breaks and heals my heart at the same time. And it's from a Christian perspective but one that is very grounded in the real world. And they just as openly accept me and cover the shame of my past with grace and words of healing, rather than condemnation or silence (which gives the message that 'you are not good enough for me,' or 'there's something shameful or not good enough about you'). Finding these groups has been such a profound revolution inside my soul!

I have seen some true transformations in some of the people I have known from both close and from afar that I'm witnessing and it's beautiful. The power of that for me, seeing that within the Christian church within an individual believer's life, is incredible. I don't mean "I found Christ and it changed my life" kind of thing (though that definitely happened to me) but "I've been a Christian all my life, and embracing this new type of raw-reality and radical honesty transformed me." The Christians who have already embraced the spiritual and accepted Christ, often their whole lives, are embracing the "real world," embracing "intimacy" and the sharing of reality, and it's healing them. Wow. Sort of a flip on the typical understanding of how Christ transforms. It reminded me a bit of the Velveteen Rabbit - becoming Real.