Occupy friendships... and Houston

For Daline's 40th birthday, she came up with idea to light a candle and eat something sweet to celebrate in our mind something sweet we have in our lives "right now" - not something we hope for, not something in our past. The thing I had at that time isn't in my life anymore though. Just when I think I am so strong and confident and happy, my emotions fail me. But just like winter is a rebirth, may this time be so for me.

God, winter is so beautiful and the wintry portions of my life are those which often give birth to a deeper understanding of who you created me to be, O God. Give me time to explore, to reach out, to find that ripple of hope within my soul. Amen.
- Penny Tressler

Today is turning out to be a very crappy day! I woke up so excited to spend the afternoon and evening with my daughter. We had scheduled to do two massages at the same time at this place downtown (I used a Groupon type deal) - it was for her birthday present. Then we were going to return to Ruggles since we had that restaurant fail last time we went, and they gave us our food free, and so I still had the voucher for there too. But so I called to confirm the appointments, and thank God I did because not only did they have the time wrong, they only had one not two scheduled. And the other masseuse was on vacation. Nice. Also, all this other stupid crap is happening. I have this one story I'm trying to get published and I got all these questions from an editor but no real idea what I'm really supposed to be doing with it and none of my sources can be reached because of the holidays. My cell phone isn't charging properly and it's annoying (Fortunately they're mailing me a new one tomorrow). And me and my daughter decided we're just going to do our outing another day. Sometimes I just hate being a single mom... I love being a mom, I love it more than anything. But I hate being broke, I hate struggling and I hate being alone. I never used to, but I do now. It sucks. Sorry if that's a little too real. But that's the way it goes. I have known Daline since about 1990 when we were in college - at Texas A&M - Whoop! We met when we drove together to a beach cleanup on Matagorda Island, and have been friends since. She knew me before I had met my now exhusband (and father of my 2 children), and she held my baby girl Savannah when she was little before I had moved away from College Station. After our respective divorces, we went to the Bahamas together near Christmas (2004 or 05) to "skip" it altogether and later traveled to the Peruvian Amazon together (memories of Peru and photo gallery). I visited her when she was anointed a lay Buddhist monk (boddhisattva) at Green Gulch Zen Center, and we have gotten together many other times. Over the years, near or far, we have shared so many conversations, and I love so much about her. She has introduced me to so very many concepts that have stimulated my personal development and spiritual and emotional growth such as codependency and the Work of Byron Katie - and I have such deep admiration with the bravery with which Daline approaches life, the loyalty she has to friends and family, and her beautiful soulful singing voice and her desire to follow her dreams, wherever they may lead. I spent her 40th with her, and here are some shots from the day.
She had some friends come to the park near the Menil, and we munched and some played drums and we just hung out for a while. Artist Sharon Engelstein and her daughter, Daline, and me.
Next we went to Occupy Houston to give FREE HUGS and do "random acts of dance" (I have to admit I didn't really do the dance thing, except for one song...). This is Capital Tatts wearing his Guy Fawkes face mask. This is Jamin - he showed me around. I was surprised at how few people there were there (a lot of people come and go, and it was a Sunday), but also surprised at how organized they were. They had a permanent camp set up, they were serving food to protestors and they had beds (no tents, because that would be "illegal"), and they had signs with upcoming protests. Every night at 7pm they have a meeting to discuss things - participatory democracy. Everyone was super nice and I thought it was great. Perhaps I will come up with a story idea about it - not totally in my domain, but you never know. They even publish a newspaper! This is where they sleep. A lot of homeless people come here to sleep also, and they feed them too.Declaration of Occupation: Exercise your right to peaceably assemble, occupy public space, create a process to address the problems we face, and generate solutions accessible to everyone. Signs with upcoming events, information, etc. Bill of Rights: We are not camping. We are assembling peaceably to petition our Government for a redress of grievances. This is our permit.
Afterwards we headed to Bohemeo's cafe where they had an open mic night and Daline got up and sang a couple songs. It was the first time I have seen her perform! I have heard her play for me, and love her music. It was so cool to see her play, especially knowing that when I started this blog, she went out and did an open mic night for the first time ever, and she was so scared she almost threw up she says!Oh my GOD they stole my idea!!!! This was painted in the bathroom. Where else would they have gotten this idea from - really? I asked when they opened and they said 2006 I think, which was after I started my blog but maybe before I changed the layout. Anyway, who knows when they put this up... but I seriously think they stole the idea from me after searching bohemian on the internet... I know my blog comes up high in search rankings... It's slightly different of course but has a LOT of the same definitions, which I found randomly all over the internets (It is right under my header on my blog...go look and compare!)Ivan, Daline, Mary, I can't remember the other dude's name but he came with Mary, and me in the back. And after hearing her play, I went home because I didn't want to be out late. Lame right! But hey I'm not a party animal anymore! Rawr!

Birthday celebrations!

This picture absolutely melts my heart. Ever since I moved to Houston in 1997 (holy moly that's a long time ago) I have taken the kids to Moorhead's Blueberry Farm every summer and we have picked them and eaten as many as we could from the bush and taken the rest home. This is actually the 2nd year of picking - 1999 - or gosh maybe it was even 2000. Look at my beautiful babies! They are teenagers now! We went there a couple weeks ago and I now have a freezer full of blueberries (as well as fresh blueberry crisp, blueberries & cream cupcakes and fruit salads already baked/made and consumed). I didn't get pics of the kids because they were inside the bushes (see below) and it was hard to get a photo with the lighting. But I have blueberry pickin' pics and stories from 2009 - Yer Face, 2007 - blueberries and Gawad Kalinga, and 2005 - blueberries, kids and the hippie generation.
My friend Elise is inside the blueberry bush! Elise is the President of Astrodome Studios - aiming to turn the architectural wonder that is the Astrodome into a film studio.
This is this year's crop we picked! Well this is my bucket and Elise's I think - my kids had two smaller buckets also. Notice she picked the unripe red ones because she's a newbie... ha ha. I gave her a hard time.
And here's a photo of the blueberries & cream gluten-free cupcakes I baked. I found this recipe at Elena's Pantry blog. It seemed like a lot of oil to flour... I didn't use coconut flour but instead used rice flour and coconut oil instead of grapeseed oil. I made a couple of batches and the first batch I used all coconut oil (1/2 cup as it says) but coconut oil is sort of solid-like at room temp so I think it ended up being more volume of oil than the recipe should have had and they were pretty greasy albeit delicious and coconutty! The second time I used less oil overall and a bit of butter and a bit of coconut oil. Those were not as tasty but still good, especially once topped with (organic) whipping cream and blueberries. Anyway it was a fun experiment. I saw some coconut oil at the store the other day but it was expensive and seemed high in fat content for flour. Anyway the cupcakes were for...drum roll please...
... a birthday celebration! Mine! And my good friend Elise! We are Moonchildren, Cancerians, water babies... children of July! I hosted an I Dont Want to Grow Up party at my house for us! A great excuse to get my favorite girl-power people together! This is Eileen, Lynn, me, Trish and Georgia!
Forgive the photo quality - some of these, this one included, were taken from my phone. This is me, Jessica (who owns Joyfolie - adorable baby shoes and soon-to-be-adult shoes) and Georgia.
Another pic of us girls, with Jessica at the right end this time!
Talking, laughing and eating! Do you like my pink knit cap? I got it at a thrift store in Oregon!
Some of the things I made for the party -counterclockwise from left - roasted veggies (onions, peppers, blue potatoes, carrots with olive oil), coconut-mango salsa with chips, blueberry crisp, white bean pesto salad (I sort of made up the recipe), and toasted quinoa, corn & avocado salad (OMG I am now obsessed with toasted quinoa - it is soooooo freaking delicious!) I will post the recipe soon along with another good one - fennel-white bean soup.
My sister from another mother is making the face I have made since I was a wee one!
Oh and I should add that part of the "I don't want to grow up" party theme was to pop bubble wrap!
Hanging around the kitchen table! My lovely friend Stef is in this pic too - sitting on the left by Eileen - and Mary is next to Elise.
Elise, me and Georgia. I was standing up tall to make myself taller than Elise who had super high heels on! Later in the evening we played the game "things" which is super fun (my friend Nikki introduced me when I was visiting her in Dallas) and it's similar to Balderdash, if you've ever played that.
Beebopping in the kitchen! Eileen, Lynn and I.
Create a mug! I bought one of these for each of the birthday girls for the past couple months - me, Elise, Lynn and Eileen & had everyone sign and then you bake them in the oven to make it permanent. They're at Starbuck's if you want your own! :)
Lynn at Tammy's 4th of July/Eileen's surprise party Monday. I love this photo of her! It's a bit fuzzy and dark because it's a phone pic but still...that is Lake Houston in the background and you can tell how dry it has been here because there is normally not a "beach" at all!! That is due to the extremely low water.
Elise & I at Tammy's on the 4th of July. And with that, I bid adieu! I love my friends soooo much!

Bubba Gump Pumpkin Co

I've officially become the Bubba Gump Pumpkin Company. After you see the pictures below, you'll see why. This is what my last two days have been about: Rinse smashed pumpkin of dirt. Put pumpkin pieces into rectangular dishes filled with some water. Because of the size of the dishes and the fact that I have only two rectangular baking dishes, I can only bake pieces of approxiumately 3/4 pumpkin at a time. Bake pumpkin until soft at about 350 degrees. Take pumpkin out of oven, wait until it cools. Peel or cut rind off. Chop into chunks and put in Cuisinhart food processor and blend until mush. Pour pumpkin mush into large freezer bags, and put in freezer. Repeat ad nauseum.

I started to say to Savannah, "I'm gonna make pumpkin pie, pumpkin soup, pumpkin pancakes, pumpkin cheesecake, pumpkin bread, pumpkin ice cream, pumpkin sorbet, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin sandwiches..."

"I'll pass on the pumpkin sandwiches," she pipes in.

"...pumpkin cake, pumpkin souffle, pumpkin quiche, pumpkin salad, pumpkin cocktail..."

Wait a minute, what is pumpkin cocktail? I think this has gotten outta hand...

Sam tosses a pumpkin to a friend in the Pumpkin Toss Contest.
Two of the boys do the toss while everyone else looks on.
Sam about to drop his pumpkin onto the tree stump from one of the trees lost in Hurricane Ike.
The pumpkin, about to smash!
And... Smashed! A different meaning altogether.
The boys about to start off on their scavenger hunt.
And just in case you didn't think we were a strange family already, here are the party favors. Yep. Dead squirrels. Don't. Even. Ask. I blame Matt.

smashing pumpkins...um, literally!

Copyright (c) 2005 Wendee Holtcamp
Joy! Sam splashing in Sexton Pond, Angelina National Forest, Texas

I think that I am going to have a very pumpkin-y Fall. I am at Matt's house right now, in the midst of Sam's birthday party, waiting for a friend to come help me get the boys back to my house. Matt (Sam and Savannah's dad) is very creative and comes up with these really cool ideas. So the first thing that he came up with was a pumpkin toss contest. Teams of two boys would throw a large pumpkin back and forth, moving further apart after every throw. The winning team (who were able to successfully throw and catch the pumpkin the farthest distance apart without it dropping) got $10. And the next thing they did was a Pumpkin Smash. Each boy took a large pumpkin and stood on top of the back porch and threw it with all their might onto a stump that came from where a giant tree had fallen in Hurricane Ike. Savannah judged whose pumpkin got the most smushed up. Next, they did a scavenger hunt.

What to do with all these smashed pumpkins? They won't go to waste in my household! :) First, I had the boys get out all the pumpkin seeds and we're going to roast them with olive oil and salt, which are soooo yummy. And then I put all the smashed pumpkins in a garbage bag for transport back to my house. I'm going to boil them or bake them, and then freeze it. I make a mean pumpkin soup! Not to mention, pumpkin bread, pumpkin pie, pumpkin pancakes... you name it. Besides the 6 smashed ones, I also have 3 remaining fully intact pumpkins. Like I said, it's going to be a pumpkiny Fall. But hey since we're heading into Great Depression II at least I'll have some frozen pumpkin. That will last, from experience, about a week (if the electricity goes out, that is). Not to fear, I went out and bought a whole bunch of dried beans and extra water bottles yesterday too. I do not want to be paranoid, but some things do not come with warnings, like a hurricane.

I started to get seriously panicky the other day about this country on so many levels (hence the dried and canned goods and water shopping spree). The economy is worrying me, the election is worrying me, and the divisiveness and the anger and negative rhetoric on the (McCain) campaign trail is scaring me (though, thank God, McCain finally started to tell his angry riotous crowd to calm down and to not fear an Obama presidency, saying he was a good man, though then he goes on to continue inciting anger in his crowds). I am well aware that it's not hard to incite a crowd to anger and vitriol, but is that what we really want to do, and is that the behavior we want our leaders to encourage? It's also not that hard to inspire a crowd - or the country - to be united and generous in spirit to the point they want to give and help their neighbor. And remember Jesus in his parable of the good Samaritan said it's not just those like us who are our neighbor- but those most unlike us. We should help those we think are our "enemies" and certainly not hate them.

When I was talking about my worry, a friend last night told me not to get into that negative head space, and I think that is true. But it's also is difficult not to. Very difficult. As a self-employed person, the economic woes bring me a lot of uncertainty. What's the first thing to go when people's purses tighten? Donations to nonprofits and causes, like environmental groups - whose magazines I write for. Several of the magazines I write for have been reducing assignments already. It's just the way things go, and means I must work harder and stay even more focused. It's quite a challenge to stay positive. But I'm going to try. (Who by worrying can add a single day to one's life? Jesus once said... and it's so true. Anxiety only shortens our lives! But it's not always like snapping one's finger - or praying - and it goes away. Though I suppose one could pop an anti-anxiety pill... oops there goes my sarcasm valve, flapping open again - we all know how I feel about our overmedicated society!). :)

On another note, one thing (or one person) who makes me laugh and smile is... my daughter. The other night I was putting Savannah to bed and we were laughing about something or other (she cracks me up, and reminds me of the teen girl I once was who, despite the challenging times I went through, loved to crack up riotously with my friends). We got on the topic of the names I made up for them during the camping trip we took to Martin Dies Jr State Park and Angelina National Forest a few years back. We were playing around in a small lake in Angelina National Forest and I was trying to remember what I called them, and I said, oh I called you Sunshine Crazy and she said no that's what you called Sam. You called me Raisin Toadstool. I was like I did NOT call you Raisin Toadstool! Raisin Toadstool?!! Ha! I was cracking up, but apparently she is convinced I did at one point. But the name I chose for her was Mystery Magic. I think they decided my name was Bohemian Stupidhead. (This is the blog about that day: camping and making one's heart light as a feather).

Day 6 without power

My two kitties, who are littermates, when they were young!
Copyright (c) 2005 Wendee Holtcamp

Still no electricity at the Holtcamp household. Today is Sam's 12th birthday! He spent the night at Matt's last night, and came over this morn to a table full of presents and it all decorated (I managed to find some stuff out - Target is open - yay for that!). We played some games this morning, including Jenga where you stack all the wood things up and see how long you can go without the tower falling over. I took some pics and will put them up later. I'm at Elise's charging my cell phone and checking my email, and then we're all going to our favorite restuarant Happy Buddha Japanese Steakhouse! Apparently they have electricity all down by the mall, which is where that is.

Last night Savannah & I went over to Georgia's house and helped her eat some of the chicken in her freezer which she grilled for me and the neighbors. We also had some crawfish etouffee over rice - yum! Tonight we may be having a girls night out. I am TRYING to get some work done but it's almost impossible to do in such a crazy situation. I work on my laptop for a couple hours, then have to run back to Elise's to charge it. Electricity is slowly going on in vartious places but only about 40% of Houston's gas stations are operational and there are still long lines. Fortunately I do not have to get gas, yet, and still have 3/4 tank!

happy bday to me!

Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

- Eleanor Roosevelt.
I love this photo, it is really what life is all about. Laughter, joy, the beach, enjoying the moment, and my beautiful amazing children. Everything I do, these kiddos come first! I love them so much.
M and Sam at the beach looking at seashells.

S&S picking blueberries. That was a bumper crop year!

Working on pottery using clay from our backyard. :)

Today we went to church (can't think of a better way to start my new year) and then went to the gym, and I'm going to spend the day with the kids. Probably go see the movie Hancock. Then tomorrow we are going to SeaWorld in San Antonio with a friend and her kids! I'm so excited. We haven't been in about 5 years, and had a blast back then. We're going to go for 2 days and spend the night. I'm actually doing an article on a new Save a Species tour that they just started there.

Last time we went, I took both kids on the Steel Eel, this loop de loop roller coaster and they were HORRIFIED! Savie screamed bloody murder - at the top of her lungs - the entire time of the ride, and Sam was white as a ghost. Needless to say, I think that experience scarred ME for life! I felt like an awful mom! I used to love roller coasters as a kid but after that I'm not so sure, so we'll see if I go on it this time. Savie, ironically, wants to go on it!!

too much fun

The two birthday girls - Stinky n me! Our tongues were blue from cake Amy brought! I don't know what we were doing here - getting cake off our teeth?!

Lovely Smurfette, I mean Georgia! :)

These are pics from my birthday gathering last evening, which was a blast as always. And when we got done, guess what we did, with two margaritas in me and totally stuffed with Mexican food? We went walking! Aren't we ever the energetic ones?!

messengers from the night

A bee on a false indigo flower, Mississippi
Copyright (c) 2000 Wendee Holtcamp

My son just came in from playing outside on the cul de sac with his friend.

"Mom, there's ths HUGE moth outside! Come look at it!"

"Is it a Luna moth?" I ask, knowing we see a lot of them here.

"No, come look!"

So we walk down the street to our neighbors yard and there is a big brown moth, about the size of a Luna (which is about 4 or 5 inches across) with spots on its wings. Next to it is a piece of a wing of the same species.

"I don't know if that is one of its wings? It seems like it has all 4 of its wings. Maybe it's another one?" Sam says.

"I think it's a shed wing," his friend says.

"I think that is probably the wing from another moth, probably its mate. A lot of times moths mate, and the female lays her eggs and then she dies. Is it dead?"

"No it was moving, walking across the grass a little bit ago."

I poke at it a bit, and it wiggles. "I think it's dying. I think it's on its last leg."

I go back inside and Sam follows, bringing in the extra part of the other wing to put on his bookshelf. He heads back and outside, then comes running into the house not one minute later.

"Guess what?! Mom! While I was inside, T (his friend) saw a cardinal eat the moth! It just ate it right up! One second it was there, and the next it is gone!"

A friend of mine has a book, "Animal Speak: The Spiritual & Magical Powers of Creatures Great & Small" by Ted Andrews and she tells me the meaning of some of the animals I come across. Nothing specifically about the moth, but it reminds me of a harbinger of the night. Night represents darkness. And the appearance of the night-creature in the day is interesting, especially since I've had a real nightmare of a struggle of a month. It's not a nightmare like some people I know of going through real and serious struggles, like the death of a spouse, or cancer, or serious illness or loss. But in the midst of my pretty darn good life right now there has been some incredibly intense struggle. A struggle to make a decision and to know God's will and to know my own heart and mind and just general struggle and mild depression rendering as lethargy and lack of motivation. Back and forth. Struggle. I'm ready to be free and happy.

The cardinal represents "Renewed vitality through recognizing self-importance" and "To remind us to add color to your life, and remember, everything you do is of importance." It's interesting that the cardinal came and ate up the harbinger of night.

So tonight is yet another girl's night out - this time to celebrate Stinky's birthday TODAY and my birthday Sunday! We're going to have $2 margaritas at this Tex Mex place around the corner we went to the other night. And then this weekend I'm taking the kids to Sea World!