Jesus in a Thong? (forgive my irreverence)

A picture of me and my kids and my friend Ruthanne at Astroworld on my birthday several years ago, when my kids were a couple years older than their ages in the story below!

Jesus in a Thong? (forgive my irreverence)
by Wendee Holtcamp

"I think you need a belt, Savannah," I tell my seven-year old daughter. I can see her melon-colored panties peaking out an inch above the top of her jeans.

"I just like to show my underwear," she retorts.

We're sitting around the dinner table, about to have a slightly off-color conversation. Recalling an article I'd read about peek-a-boo thongs, I tell my husband, "The trend with teenagers now is to wear a thong so it can be seen outside the back of your jeans."

"Gross!" he contorts his face hideously. "Don't those things, like, go up your bottom?"

"What is a thong?" Savannah interrupts.

"Thongs are underwear that just have a string that, well, goes up your bottom," I explain.

"Eww," my five-year-old says. "They go up your butt?!"

"They don't exactly go up your butt," I say, trying not to burst out laughing. "They just go in your butt crack." As soon as I say it, I know I probably shouldn't have. I'm not one to pretend such things don't exist, but I'm really wondering how this conversation will affect our urgent attempts to convince Sam to stop saying the word butt all the time.

"Let's stay on the side of Jesus now," my husband pleads.

I can't help cracking up. "I don't think Jesus minds thongs," I say.

"Jesus would not wear a thong!" he demands.

"I have a thong," I say, trying to change my mental image of Jesus in a thong.

Savannah's eyes perk up. "I want to see it!"

"I don't wear it very often, it's not very comfortable." I'm mentally recalling the hilarious line from Eve Ensler's Vagina Monologues where the woman with the "angry" vagina is cursing thongs.

"Can I see it? Pleeeeease!" she begs.

"Ok, ok, I'll show you later. It's no big deal."

"I think it's time to steer this conversation back on track," my husband says.

Later that night, as I'm tucking Sam into bed, I'm certain that our strange conversation has been forgotten. We're saying our nightly prayer, and then he leans over and whispers in my ear, "It's so funny that they go up your b-u-t-t-c-r-a-c-k," Sam giggles.

I sigh. At least he didn't say the word. He spelled it.

a nice day

I drove some of the middle school kids (at my kids' school) to Jesse Jones Park for their field trip today. They have been doing environmental work at the park for the past 3 years. They help eradicate invasive Chinese tallow trees and also pick up trash. First we took the schoolkids to Wendy's for lunch, where I was told by my kids' friends that I was "so cool" because I stuck french fries into chocolate shake and also stole Savie's shake from her and kept eating it, which they thought was very humorous. Everyone except Savie, that is. :) Well maybe I think THEY are cool! Kids are usually so much cooler than fuddy duddy parents... I shouldn't say that. But... it's true :)

So while the kids were slaving away I was going to read my Biomimicry book for an article I'm working on, but I ended up laying down my head on my backpack and falling asleep. It's freaking hot, like 90+ degrees already! Later, when we were almost finished and everyone was coming back on the trail, I was taking pics of the kids and then I took a self portrait and looked at it on the view-finder and I said out loud, "What is that thing on my head?" and then I go, "Oh, my hair." To which Savie immediately retorts, "I think I got my brains from the other side of the family." And her friend cracked up. To be fair, there was something poking up FROM my hair but I have to admit it was rather humorous.

When I got back to the kids' school they had a couple hours before they got out for the day so since their school is like 20 minutes from home I just went around the back of the building and took a nap in the grass. Why am I sooo tired?!!!!

This afternoon me and the kids went for a walk around the neighborhood. It was nice. I then played gin rummy with Sam, and now they're going to go to bed. It's nice to be back here spending some time with them. Their school gets out Thursday, a couple weeks before the public schools, & they'll be home and bored off their rockers before you know it. I am working on taxes, and some new articles. I am giving a talk at my kids' school on Thursday (their last day of school) about the shark stuff so that should be cool! I wish I was in Australia... wish we were all there.

I have read a whole bunch in Scott Peck's writing on "coincidences" and God, and plan to blog on that soon. It really stinks being away from Sean. We talk every day, several times a day and text back and forth but... it's not the same as being in person. I miss him and we need to invent a teleporting machine asap. So get on it someone!

By the way these two shots were taken today at Jones Park.