Monday, December 24, 2007

preparing for the holidays

Image Copyright (c) 2007 Wallace. J. Nichols

I spent today cooking and cleaning with the kids and then watching a bit of The Fellowship of The Ring extended version, also with the kiddos. My mom and stepdad arrive tomorrow; the holiday begins! Today Sam & I cooked a gingerbread house and we'll decorate it tomorrow. I've never made one from scratch before so it was pretty cool to do so. Savannah made a banana cream pie recipe that is awesome, mostly by herself; she wanted to say she did it all by herself. I prepared the lasagna we'll have tomorrow night (Christmas Eve) but we'll have our big dinner on Christmas Day. Wow, I really can't believe it is Christmas. This quarter of the year went so fast. I guess it's because I left for Nepal before Halloween, came back just in time for Thanksgiving but was super jet-lagged for 2 weeks, and then it was Christmas time. So time goes.

With the coming of the new year, and the passing of life so suddenly, the time comes again to reflect on goals and changes and such. I think often about living life fully, and I hug my kids daily, and tell my friends and family I love them. I've rid myself of toxic and negative influences and friends, while trying to be a good influence myself. I always try to be aware of, and improve or change any negative qualities in myself. Yet especially the suddenness of Jim's death has really made me think even more about this - what changes do I need or want to make in my life to make this the life of my dreams?

Even on my way back from Nepal I felt like I'd been called more towards home, and less away wandering the world, or if I do wander for it to be either with someone I know and love or doing something to help people - like mission trips. I've also felt drawn more to figuring out how I can help people more in terms of poverty eradication and other global social ills. The environment and especially wildlife will always be a passion, but I feel that there are also other issues I want to get involved in. I've been feeling drawn to doing documentary work, rather than just writing, and want some doors to open in those areas. I want to impact the world in a big way, to spread the knowledge of God's love and grace and truth. Sometimes it is just so hard to figure out what to spend my time on. So I often end up just doing whatever is easiest, or whatever presents itself, rather than visualizing what I want or planning toward a goal.

Some things to think about as I roll on towards the New Year.

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