Me, Savannah, Sam and Matt at The Melting Pot - an awesome fondue restaurant - for Savie's 13th birthday! (I had to blot out Savie's friend because her mom didn't want her photo on the internet - sorry it looks funny!) Right now I have a house full of girls screaming at the top of their lungs, wrestling and having fun. It's my daughter's party and we're celebrating her 13th birthday, which was this past week (photos above from our family dinner party on her actual bday). Today, we went ice skating earlier and had pizza and cake and all that. Now it's about time to settle down and watch a movie.
Life has been interesting the past few weeks. Anxiety over the submission and negotiation of selling my book (proposal) has been crazy, and I will have some firm news early next week. Well I have some news now, but I don't want to reveal any details until papers are signed and all that jazz. It's not over 'til the contracts are signed!
I've struggled a bit lately with wondering why amidst all the positive feedback I receive from friends, my kids and their friends, random blog visitors, and family, I still fret over the very few times I get people who say things like "what an idiot" or who disappear and leave me questioning what I did wrong. Was it something I said? Some stupid thing that was mis-interpreted? Was I actually an idiot? (quite possible!) ;) But is that unforgivable? I guess I live in a world where I imagine that friends are friends for life, and that pretty much all offenses (especially minor annoyances) are forgivable and work-through-able. But I have found that is not a common way. I'm grateful that I have been able to find so many wonderful friends who do believe like I do, and who I would do anything for. But I always feel weakened by rejection, which I'm sure relates to the abandonment issues of my childhood. I need to truly integrate into my heart that my worth comes from God's love for me and not from the approval of anyone... yet at the same time it's reassuring to know that I have made a difference in the lives of my friends and that there are people who respect and admire what I do. It lifts me up and brightens my life.
I decided to make a "wall of love" for my office where I'll have photos of my friends and printed out statements that they've written to me over the years. Here are just a few from the last couple weeks:
I've struggled a bit lately with wondering why amidst all the positive feedback I receive from friends, my kids and their friends, random blog visitors, and family, I still fret over the very few times I get people who say things like "what an idiot" or who disappear and leave me questioning what I did wrong. Was it something I said? Some stupid thing that was mis-interpreted? Was I actually an idiot? (quite possible!) ;) But is that unforgivable? I guess I live in a world where I imagine that friends are friends for life, and that pretty much all offenses (especially minor annoyances) are forgivable and work-through-able. But I have found that is not a common way. I'm grateful that I have been able to find so many wonderful friends who do believe like I do, and who I would do anything for. But I always feel weakened by rejection, which I'm sure relates to the abandonment issues of my childhood. I need to truly integrate into my heart that my worth comes from God's love for me and not from the approval of anyone... yet at the same time it's reassuring to know that I have made a difference in the lives of my friends and that there are people who respect and admire what I do. It lifts me up and brightens my life.
I decided to make a "wall of love" for my office where I'll have photos of my friends and printed out statements that they've written to me over the years. Here are just a few from the last couple weeks:
- You are a treasure in my life!
- You are just the coolest friend! excuse me now I have to go cry tears of appreciation.....
- You are such a vibrant, glowing soul, smart, creative, a good friend to your friends, hugely curious about the wide world—and so incredibly talented!
- Sending you a big hug girlfriend along with a pint of yer fav ice cream (or soy ice cream?) I feel your pain Wendee, I really do. It's a painful rollercoaster, this believing in ourselves and putting ourselves out there.
- You are incredible, and rejection and abandonment issues should not be on your radar.
- Wendee, you are such a blessing to me. I hope you're taking some time for yourself and also not being too hard on yourself, in terms of loneliness, stress, anything. You're awesome -- great writer, neat person, cool woman, good friend, beautiful soul. I'm totally grateful for you.
I choose to believe these words as manna from heaven, gifts from God through my friends. I choose to believe the good and not the negative voices and the rejection, though I do try to learn lessons and always ask what I could do differently or to have a different outcome. I am going to watch a movie with the kiddos now. Love and light and laughter to all!
Savannah at her birthday party tonight. This is the mint bonbon cake that I made - yum!
Horseplaying tonight before we headed out for ice skating. 
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