mental

Galapagos tortoise, Santa Cruz Island, Galapagos Archipelago

(c) 2007 Wendee Holtcamp

So many friends of mine are having relationships struggles right now! It's crazy. And this Alanis song on her new CD, Straitjacket, is sooo apropos. I love it. Wish the radio would play her again, she so rocks! I'm not too keen on the Y chromosome at the moment.

Something so benign
From me construed as cruelty
Such a difference between
Who I am and who you see
/snip part of lyrics

This shit's making me crazy
The way you nullify what's in my head
You say one thing do another
And argue that's not what you did
Your way's making me mental
How you filter as skewed interpret
I swear you won't be happy 'til
I'm bound in a straitjacket

Talking with you's like talking
To a sieve that can't hear me
You fight me tooth and nail
To disavow what's happening

Your resistance to a mirror
I feel screaming from your body
One day I'll introduce myself
And you'll see you've not yet met me

- Straitjacket, Alanis Morissette on Flavors of Entanglement

That is the most absolutely perfect brilliant description ........... yep.

On another note, I've been trying to meditate for 10 minutes per day. I've been wanting to meditate on a regular basis for a long time but never had, except maybe like once every 2 years! Someone recommended just setting a timer at 10 minutes so I've done that for two days now. OK so this is how I meditated today: I sat in silence and drank coffee and ate part of a croissant with my eyes closed. Ha ha ha! I'm laughing at myself! While meditating, I try to "smile in my liver" the way that Liz Gilbert says in Eat, Pray, Love. I need to read that book again!

underneath

Wow this new Alanis single really speaks to me. I love her! Lyrics below the video.
Underneath
by Alanis Morissette

Look at us break our bonds in this kitchen
Look at us rallying all our defenses
Look at us waging war in our bedroom
Look at us jumping ship in our dialogues

There is no difference
In what we're doing in here
That doesn't show up as bigger symptoms out there
So why spend all our time in dressing our bandages
When we've the ultimate key to the cause
right here, our underneath.

Look at us form our cliques in our sandbox
Look at us micro kids with both our hearts blocked
Look at us turn away from all the rough spots
Look at dictatorship on my own block

There is no difference
In what we're doing in here
That doesn't show up as bigger symptoms out there
So why spend all our time undressing our bandages
When we've the ultimate key to the cause
right here, our underneath.

How I've spun my wheels
With carts before my horse
When shine on the outside springs from the root
Spotlight on these seeds of simpler reasons
The core, born into form, starts in our livingroom

There is no difference
In what we're doing in here
That doesn't show up as bigger symptoms out there
So why spend all our time in dressing our bandages
When we've the ultimate key to the cause
right here, our underneath.

wisdom

On the Alanis song, "You Owe Me Nothing in Return" which I included the lyrics to a few blog posts ago, this is obviously an idealized form of love - one I strive for. Not sure if it can be achieved but I love this song. I love Alanis! Her new album, Flavors of Entanglement, comes out Jun 10 in the US, Jun 2 internationally! I've already pre-ordered the DVD/CD combo...

Alanis is someone I look up to very much in terms of her artistic talent, her self expressiveness, and ability to look inward and self-criticize and grow and then use this as part of her muse. I relate very much to that model. I also like when people can look inward, and believe that ultimately that is the only way. We can set boundaries, and tell others that we will not or can not live with a certain behavior, but ultimately it's their choice to change or not, but we can choose whether we are willing to live with it, or to leave and end that relationship.

"And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not perceive the plank in your own eye? "Or how can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me remove the speck that is in your eye,' when you yourself do not see the plank that is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck that is in your brother's eye."

- Luke 6:41-42 NKJV

Notice it does say that once we remove the plank from our eye, we CAN see clearly to help others. I believe that is important because I do believe there are people who have gone through some lessons and can teach and encourage others in those areas, even as they/we still have places to learn in other areas of life. We all can learn from one another - what a beautiful thing if it happens!

But I've found that those who still have planks in their eyes often still point the finger at others, and refuse to look inward or listen to wisdom of others, or are selective in who they listen to.

OK this is sort of a different subject but was thinking about personality temperaments etc. I am an ENFP (Meyers Briggs Temperament Sorter) - Teacher-Idealist, also called The Giver. Oprah is one also. I think this is why I express and love to share the things I've learned and read about. Lots of people like to read the blog and say they enjoy it but... it doesn't always work when you're in a one-on-one situation! LOL. I on the other hand, love constructive criticism. How else will I see myself from another person's perspective if they don't tell me? I can try to see what my flaws could be, but unless someone tells me I am only still looking through colored-glasses skewed by my own perspective. Plus the dynamics of any friendship and relationship depend so much on our pasts, family history, issues that bother us, etc. What bothers one person may not bother another at all! Here's the paragraph from the Meyers Briggs Foundation page:

ENFJ: Warm, empathetic, responsive, and responsible. Highly attuned to the emotions, needs, and motivations of others. Find potential in everyone, want to help others fulfill their potential. May act as catalysts for individual and group growth. Loyal, responsive to praise and criticism. Sociable, facilitate others in a group, and provide inspiring leadership.

And here's another page at the Meyers-Briggs Foundation site that describes the ENFJ/Teacher.

Teachers like things settled and organized, and will schedule their work hours and social engagements well ahead of time-and they are absolutely trustworthy in honoring these commitments. Valuing as they do interpersonal cooperation and harmonious relations, Teachers are extraordinarily tolerant of others, are easy to get along with, and are usually popular wherever they are.

Teachers are highly sensitive to others, which is to say their intuition tends to be well developed. Certainly their insight into themselves and others is unparalleled. Without a doubt, they know what is going on inside themselves, and they can read other people with uncanny accuracy. Teachers also identify with others quite easily, and will actually find themselves picking up the characteristics, emotions, and beliefs of those around them. Because they slip almost unconsciously into other people's skin in this way, Teachers feel closely connected with those around them, and thus show a sincere interest in the joys and problems of their employees, colleagues, students, clients, and loved ones.

Here's a link to the place where you can take your own test. There are several different versions - look under the heading "Jung Tests I-E S-N F-T J-P" in the right column. I know I took a long one but can't remember if it was the 70-question Word test, or the Jung + Enneagram (108 q's). It was a while ago. Take the test and tell me what you are! :)