Friday, December 19, 2008

snowed in

Hope is the thing with feathers
that perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.
--Emily Dickinson


Boy it's been a snowy, wintry wonderland since I've been here! We'll get one clear day then a boatload of snow. I am still in Tacoma and pondering whether to return to Portland, or my dad's log cabin (about an hour away from Portland) today or tomorrow. I leave home Monday morn super early so need to be in Portland by Sun night at the latest but a huge storm is predicted with ice and snow Saturday afternoon, so I definitely gotta get there before then. The downfall is that I may not get to see my dad again! The original plan was to spend this coming weekend with him while he's off work, but... we got a very rare snowfall event. Like a once in 20 years snowfall snowstorm event! Apparently the area only gets about 11" of snow a year (which is nothing, compared to Colorado and other snowy places!). It typically snows about once a year here in the coastal Pacific NW and it rarely sticks for long. So I picked a fine time to travel! However I am blown away by the beauty and peacefulness, and I'm cozy inside (except when we venture out to play!).

So I've just been hanging out with my cousin Holly, her husband Ross and their adorable two kids! They have an awesome home with a view of Puget Sound and it's very peaceful and cozy here. I am trying to get caught up on some work, such as teaching my writing class, which ends this weekend (a new one starts up Jan 3!).

My latest article is out, in Scientific American Magazine, Jan 2008. Check it out...Fury Over Conservationists Taking Fees from Developers: proposed megaport and a sea-turtle nesting beach collide within the group that maintains the endangered species list. Here's a PDF of the story that looks really cool with the sea turtle image.

We walked down to the Starbucks a few blocks away and it started snowing. We caught snowflakes on our tongue! :)

My niece making snow angels!

The "Snowhead" Ross and the kiddos made. It started to melt a bit when the weather warmed up, but then it snowed again yesterday and they made an even bigger one!
The view out their window. Looks like a Norman Rockwell painting!
My cousin Holly and I. We grew up together pretty much until I was about 8 and moved to my dad's!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

winter wonderland

My trip (so far) to the Olympic peninsula and my childhood log cabin in Oregon.
Photos Copyright (c) 2008 Wendee Holtcamp

A winter wonderland scene just up the road from my dad's Oregon log cabin. Notice the 3/4 moon in the sky!
"Love at First Bite" I got this T-shirt in Forks, WA yesterday, on my road trip circumventing the Olympic peninsula on highway 101. I stopped in Forks and hung out at Forks Outfitters for coffee and to charge my cell phone and talked to a couple locals about the movie Twilight which was filmed there! Actually, the locals said it was not filmed there but it was BASED there so they faked the "Forks Outfitters" store and Sheriff's office in the movie, and filmed mostly elsewhere. But the books are based in Forks and the movie is "in Forks" but the filming took place in another locale.
My dad's log cabin, still much the same as when I grew up there!
My dad's fiance' Bev and my daddy!
This is a view inside the cabin.
These are the mega-veggies dad and Bev grew this year in their garden! Notice the massive carrots and beets!
The beach at Kalaloch, WA along the Olympic peninsula.
This is either Beach 2 or Ruby Beach... I love this photo.
Again either Ruby Beach or Beach 2... I love the driftwood.
This is the view along a lot of the road I traveled (Hwy 101) - just a breathtaking winter wonderland the whole way!!
A close up of snow in the fir trees along the road. My Christmas trees!
This is an awful shot but this is a Roosevelt Elk on the roadside on the road toward the Hoh Rainforest Visitor Center, which it turns out was closed... I took a 20 mile detour down to it because it's my favorite place... it was a gorgeous wintery drive but I didn't get to anything but stop a couple times and take some pics. It was getting dark, and I saw the elk at dusk. Then I got in my car and started driving a whole herd of them ran across the road and I had to brake to avoid running into them!!
Shot of the Hoh Rainforest Valley.
Sunset at Ruby Beach.

Monday, December 15, 2008

love and faith

The abominable snowman! I love him!
Copyright (c) 2008 Wendee Holtcamp


I wanted to share some quotes that have come across my email recently that I relate to, and that relate to my life right now. I've blogged before about fear of love, fear of loss, and how these things and the pain of the past and the disillusionment can imprison us and keep us from experiencing and enjoying the good in our lives, and the real deal when it arrives. When I was 20, I have a distinct memory of working at this office to raise money for my upcoming semester in Australia and there were these 2 older gentlemen who worked there I became friends with, and I was always a super happy bubbly type person, and I'd say "smile!" and "cheer up!" and they'd say, "You just don't understand. Life hasn't beat you down yet." And at that time I vowed to myself that no matter what happened I would NOT let life's pain take away my joie de vivre.

But you know, it happens without you looking. The pain does zap all that childhood joy and free spiritedness out of you. I still have always tried to keep a certain joy, and childlike quality about me. I love to do fun silly things like spin around, jump up and down, and all that kind of stuff. But there's also can come a sadness in one's soul from losing people who we love, and from believing in something only to be betrayed or have our hopes dashed. But I have always vowed to continue to live my life giving my all, giving my heart, risking despite fear, and believing if I pursue the longings of my heart, God will hear and bless me with those answered prayers, even if certain things take way longer than I ever wanted.

When I met Matt, we had a very instant attraction, sort of like the "love at first sight" kind of thing. Whatever that means, our relationship moved very quickly. There were no games, no questions, we just "knew." I never knew if that was the way it's supposed to be or if that was a mistake we made, since it obviously ended down the line after 13 years. Life is so confusing and complex and we just have to "take data" (as Daline would say) and observe and see. All I know is that I recognize the fears that I have in my soul that can drag spirits and emotions down, and that bring my own spirit down, and that can sabotage things, but you know what? I'm still going to risk. And I believe, as my friend Miranda has told me, "When it's the right thing, nothing can stop it."

As I was ice skating with Doug the other day I thought that is sort of the way real loving relationships are. You're out there on the rink with like a zillion other people, some skilled and some totally unskilled. Some times you skate around holding your loved ones hand, side by side. Even when you're skating around like that, people come up and you have to separate your hands, raise them over a little kids head, and then come back together. Then other times, you don't hold hands but you separate and skate around on your own path, smiling at one another as you go around past and catching up when you can. You may travel away from one another, or go to work for a while, or one may get ill and need time to heal, or whatever. But you come back together and hug and hold hands again and reconnect. The whole analogy seemed a very healthy natural way to view how relationships should be. When I first met Matt I remember I had to go to Oregon and visit my dad and I was almost obsessively missing him. And I've had that model in past relationships. I feel very balanced and grounded right now. I'm super happy. There's no fear. And when it did come a few days back, we worked through it. And if it comes again, I'm sure that reassurance and time will cover up and heal all. So here are the quotes I wanted to share:


"Fear imprisons, faith liberates; fear paralyzes, faith empowers; fear disheartens, faith encourage; fear sickens, faith heals; fear makes useless, faith makes serviceable." -- Harry Emerson Fosdick

"Courage is fear that has said its prayers." Keep Coming Back by Meiji Stewart

"As we grow spiritually, we naturally become more generous. It's a quality of a well-developed person. Rather than being anxious over whether we will have enough -- and rather than hungrily seeking more and more -- we become more openhearted. We feel more abundant within ourselves and find that our spirit of generosity even adds to our own abundant feelings. Where we see a need, we help out." - Wisdom to Know, Hazelden books

"Sincere love is not born of possessiveness but of necessary space and distance."
--Melanie Gainsley

"Whenever we try to understand, analyze, or probe too much into the reasons for love, we damage it. All that can really be done with love is accept it." - Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

"To relax, to feel the love in your heart and keep to that as your focus in every situation--that's the meaning of spiritual surrender. It changes us. We become deeper, more attractive people." - Marianne Williamson, Return to Love

Sunday, December 14, 2008

the genuine article

All I can say about today's pics is... a picture's worth a thousand words. :)

Right I'm now in a hotel in Portland, Oregon because there is a snowstorm and I'm not driving all the way out to my dad's in this weather. So... here I am uploading some recent photos. Yesterday afternoon Doug and I opened Christmas presents and then went ice skating at the Galleria and had a total blast. I think it was literally one of the absolute best days of my life.

Pure joy!

The Wendee and Doug show! He loves taking self portraits as much as I do!!! We switched hats!

This is the hat Doug gave me for Christmas - it's so cute!

And this is the awesome Op shirt he gave me!! :) He's so sweet and good to me!!
Peek a boo!

So cute together!
Awww....

Look at those long eyelashes!!! They take my breath away!
So cute together!!!!

The king and queen of snuggling :) Open your eyes boy!

Note to self (or note to Doug?!): Taking pictures while ice skating can be dangerous!! :)
Silly pics in my hat at TGI Friday's
More silly hat pics. This is the Op shirt he gave me for Christmas, along with the cute hat! And the cutest card you've ever seen with two snuggling puppies.

We took some pics while we were literally moving around the skating rink!
We are sooooo happy!

Pinch me! Or don't.... :)

Saturday, December 13, 2008

magic

I've had an awesome few days. Tonight I took my kids and a friend's son to the TobyMac concert, or technically the Winter Wonder Slam which also had Relient K, Family Force 5, and B. Reith. It was great! TobyMac is one of my all-time favorite musical artists. He rocks! I enjoyed the other three artists as well, but TobyMac was just incredible. I had to convince Savannah to stand up and rock out with me, jump up and down, and be wild and crazy. Sam and Conner didn't during the first artists... but they did stand up for TobyMac. :) There was a part during the concert when he told a story of his childhood, and then said "don't despise your youth" and that sometimes things are planted that you never know how God will use when you're an adult and it brought tears to my eyes.

I also thought that it was totally cool that the promo materials had the abominable snowman because I LOVE the abominable snowman! In fact, I bought myself a Christmas present this year that is.... a fuzzy abominable snowman with moveable legs and arms, and he growls if you press his belly. I have the cutest pic I'll upload soon but I had to take my camera to the shop because it is giving me an error message (which is totally freaking me out because I need it on my trip to the Pacific NW and I leave Sunday!) The last week has been magical... though busy!

I've had one of those weeks where it's just one magical moment after another, with little things and cool happenings. For my memories: moonshine, sunshine, mad libs, snow, snuggles, unexpected surprise, hats, tears, full moon in the afternoon sky, flowers, fluffy purple elephant, abominable snowman, joy...

Twirling in the snow!


A picture of the sparkly snow. I loved staring at the sky and watching it come down in the giant flake.s I felt like I was inside a snow globe!


Doug showing his skateboarding skills.


Me trying to remember how to balance, and not doing a very good job!


Doug and I being silly. Or maybe just he is being silly!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

it's snowing in Houston!

Sam and Savannah skiing at Monarch Mountain, Colorado in March.
Copyright (c) 2008 Wendee Holtcamp



I kid you not. It is actually snowing in Houston. I've been here more than 10 years and this is a first. Actually we got snow one Christmas, but I had the gall to be in the Bahamas "skipping Christmas" with my awesome best friend Daline, since it was my first without the kids after the divorce.

I've been swamped, trying to wrap up some things before I head to Oregon and Washington so I have nothing too profound to say right now. OK I did have one little nugget. I talked to a dear friend today about letting go of the need to control versus feeling the need to KNOW what is going to happen. I'm not a big fan of uncertainty. I'm used to being in charge of so many things - my finances, my house, the kids, my students, yada yada yada. I have a really hard time letting go and letting God. I struggle with a sort of anxiety when I want a particular outcome. I know I've said this all before in so different words. But how long does it take before I can truly be in a place where I can let go?

You hear all this advice "if you just think positive" or "everything will be ok" - but the reality is, and this is what my friend and I were talking about, we really do NOT know that everything will be ok. We don't know a LOT more than we "know." All I know is that I love God, and that God is FOR me not against me (even as I struggle to truly incorporate that thought into my psyche), and that our actions have consequences on this earth.

OK I'm gonna go catch snowflakes on my tongue now!

Monday, December 08, 2008

bobcats in suburbia

Me giving a talk on the Galapagos and evolution.


My latest article is out on bobcats! It's the cover story in this month's Texas Parks & Wildlife Magazine. Cat of All Trades: Bobcats are adapting to life in suburbia, where they mostly eat rats and squirrels - not cats and dogs.

I gave my talk to Sam's school on the Galapagos Islands this morning. I showed photos from all the islands I visited, and I talked briefly about Charles Darwin's observations of finches and giant tortoises, his theory of natural selection, the overwhelming evidence for evolution from fields such as geology, molecular biology and genetics, and how many Christian denominations have made peace with evolution (including the Episcopal, Presbyterian, ELCA Lutheran, Methodist and Catholic churches). It's challenging to give a talk to kids ranging from Pre-K to Middle School, but I managed!

Saturday, December 06, 2008

embracing your inner bitch

Sally light-foot crab in the Galapagos Islands
Copyright (c) 2008 Wendee Holtcamp


All I gotta say, is sometimes you gotta embrace your inner bitch. Some days you just need to tell it like it is. So here are my lyrics of the day...

Won't stop shaking up what I can
I serve it up in a shot
So suck it down like a man
So baby yes I know what I am
And no I don't give a damn
And you'll be loving it

Some days I'm a super bitch
Up to my old tricks
But it won't last forever
Next day I'm your super girl
Out to save the world
And it keeps gettin' better

Kiss kiss gonna tell you right now
I'll make it sweet on the lips, I'll simply knock you out
Shut up I don't care what you say
Cuz when we both in the ring you're gonna like it my way
Yeah baby there's a villain in me so sexy sour and sweet
And you'll be loving it
- Christina Aguilera, Keeps Getting Better

Friday, December 05, 2008

joy

Sea lion in the Galapagos Islands
Copyright (c) 2007 Wendee Holtcamp


Peace is always beautiful - Walt Whitman


I'm thinking about joy and how to get to a state of joyfulness on a daily basis. A lot of things - quotes, articles, etc - have been crossing my path related to joy and the ability to be happy. "You're about as happy as you make up your mind to be" was said by Mark Twain. So I've been focusing on all the positive things in my life, and I actually have been pretty happy. I notice when I pay my bills and start thinking about money, I get kind of stressed. When I start thinking about the fact that I am sometimes lonely, I can get sad sometimes. But for the most part I do not think about money and bills or loneliness, and I'm 95% of the time thinking about the good friends I have, and my amazing kids, and the career that I love, and all the rest. Then just when things are really great, something weird happens.

Have you ever noticed that when people over-react or get mad, there's usually something deeper bothering them? But they won't just tell you what that thing is? Sometimes they don't even know! Have you ever done something minor, and they make assumptions, and instead of giving you an opportunity to explain, they yell? I don't get yelling. I grew up in a home where yelling was a daily thing. I made a deliberate conscious effort to not live like that -OK kids, if you're reading you know I make mistakes! :). I don't have friends that yell at me. I don't let anyone yell at me, family or anyone, and if that happens, I just say "OK goodbye! We'll talk later!" because I don't want to yell at people either but it gets kind of hard when they're yelling at you! So hence, I end the conversation.

Have I said this before? It's worth repeating: I believe that friends and family have a right to say whatever they want to me, even if it's critical, even if it hurts, but say it in a calm, respectful manner and then let's talk about it. It is NOT that difficult! Really it is not!!!!!! And if you mess up, and raise your voice, or over-react, or assign people characteristics that they really don't have... but maybe someone in their past had... then you apologize, you own up to your mistakes. Take responsibility. How hard is it? Didn't we all learn this in kindergarten?!! I mean, seriously?!

Why is the human psyche so weird? Why do most people hide the things they really feel or things they do, instead of just being honest? I don't get it. And what I really don't get, is why people sabotage things that are really good. Why, why, why, why?!! But... is this world really hard to figure out? No... I think that you just learn to not worry so much about the weirdness of people, and the weird things that happen, and just keep on plugging away, and just chase after the joy. Because have you ever been around a joyful person? It's contagious. I so notice that when I am happy, or enthusiastic, or excited - which I often am because that is how I generally am when I'm not letting life get to me - it rubs off on people, on my kids, on the students I've had. So that is what I'm trying to do. Because the last couple months I've maybe not been that way quite so much. And I want the joy back.

You feel the way you do right now because of the thoughts you are thinking at this moment. --David D. Burns

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. - Philippians 4:8(NIV)

It is not by accident that the happiest people are those who make a conscious effort to live useful lives. Their happiness, of course, is not a shallow exhilaration where life is one continuous intoxicating party. Rather, their happiness is a deep sense of inner peace that comes when they believe their lives have meaning and that they are making a difference for good in the world. -Ernest Fitzgerald

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Back to Reality

Darwin Lake on Isabela Island, Galapagos. Check out my whole Galapagos photo gallery!
Copyright (c) 2007 Wendee Holtcamp


Love just needs a witness and a little forgiveness
And a halo of patience and a less sporadic pace and
I'm learning to be brave in my beautiful mistakes.
- Pink, Crystal Ball


I chose the Galapagos image because I'm working in a Powerpoint and a talk for Sam's school which I'm giving next week on the Galapagos Islands and evolution.

Someone just passed along this interesting, must-read blog for anyone interested in science, Back to Reality, President-elect Obama already has a long to-do list. But here’s another item for it: to restore science in government -- an entry in Olivia Judson's New York Times blog. Particularly interesting are the books mentioned at the end of her column - The Republican War on Science (which I've read some of), Undermining Science, and A Mind of Its Own: How Your Brain Distorts and Deceives. Judson is an evolutionary biologist and author of Dr. Tatiana's Sex Advice to All Creation: The Definitive Guide to the Evolutionary Biology of Sex - which looks hilarious! It's a faux sex column advice from "Dr. Tatiana" to creatures from manatees to slime molds. I have to get a copy from the library. It's quite relevant because I'm writing an article in the next couple months on the evolution of sex. Why do we need it? Why don't we all just clone, like bacteria? Why did sex evolve? The answer is reserved for those students of evolutionary biology who are in the know...

On another note, did anyone else see the cool triangle made in the sky from the crescent moon, and Jupiter and Venus? It was most pronounced on Monday, but I saw it also yesterday with the two planets quite a bit "further away" from the moon, but still in a triangle. Cool stuff! Check out this article, The "Venus & Jupiter" Show, in Sky & Telescope for a diagram.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

card-towers of Babel

The Evolution store in Soho, New York City.
Copyright (c) 2007 Wendee Holtcamp



So I started reading A Tale of Two Cities to Sam again tonight, with only mild protest. It has been at least a month if not more since we read it, and I opened to the chapter entitled, Monseigneur in Town, and thought I swear we've read this already. I recall distinctly how often the chapter repeats the word "Monseigneur" because it is a French word and I had no idea what the heck it was. Sam, however, didn't remember the word at all. "Is that the guy who ate the chocolate?" he asked. I had to laugh here because I remembered the scene with the guy being fed hot chocolate by four servants, but I did not recall it was the Monseigneur, but as I started reading (and yes we had read that chapter), sure enough it was the guy who had been fed hot chocolate. So I guess he IS paying more attention that either he or I thinks.

The chapter depicts the lavish wealth of the French aristocracy, which contrasts to the destitution faced by much of society at the time. It's a historical novel so although fictional it's based on historical truths. This bit made me stop short, because it reminded me of the current era a bit:

Military officers destitute of military knowledge. ... Doctors who made great fortunes out of dainty remedies for imaginary disorders that never existed... Unbelieving philosophers who were remodelling the worlds with words, and making card-towers of Babel to scale the skies with...In the outermost room were half-a-dozen exceptional people who had had, for a few years, some vague misgivings in them that things in general were going rather wrong.

Anyway, I won't get into what I see as the parallels... but needless to say, they exist. I will say the philosophers line definitely reminds me of the creationists of the day, particularly intelligent design proponents who make card-towers of Babel and try to remodel the world with their words. Dang, I think I need to use that line in my book.

I'm privy to some interesting conversations on these issues with colleagues about the great opposition to plate tectonic theory by the geologists of the day for many many years but finally the evidence overwhelmed and it became common knowledge. This contrasts sharply with the way IDists try to get their (false) "science" accepted, which has been to go directly to the public, appealing to a false argument that their "academic freedom" is being threatened. The way science works is that scientists plug away for years and years, publish in scientific journals and eventually paradigns shift.

Scientists do not get theories accepted into the public by writing popular books, having their ideas discussed in churches or by church organizations (like Focus on the Family), or getting the ideas taught in public schools before even a SINGLE peer-reviewed scientific publication has been published!!! Seriously!! And the whole debacle is made worse by the media, which often presents the "other side" as having any legitimacy. It does only as a cultural and religious debate, but not as a scientific one. There is no scientific opposition to evolution. None! And as one UT grad student said at the SBOE hearing, if he were to disprove evolution, he'd win the Nobel Prize, so bring it on! Unfortunately, intelligent design does not have any history of publication in any legitimate scientific journals. Nothing!

So here are a few interesting and ironic quotes about science from the halls of history. I use these when I teach biology, except for the last gem, which someone just shared. Enjoy!

"Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction."
--Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872

"If excessive smoking actually plays a role in the production of lung cancer, it seems to be a minor one."
-Dr. W.C. Heuper of the National Cancer Institute, as quoted in New York Times April 14, 1954.

"Agassiz says that when a new doctrine is presented, it must go through three stages. First, people say that it isn't true, then that it is against religion, and in the third stage, that it has long been known."
-- Karl Ernst von Baer (1792-1876), embryologist, referring to Swiss scientist Louis Agassiz (1807-1873). Agassiz founded the Harvard Museum of Comparative Zoology.

"Debating creationists on the topic of evolution is rather like trying to play chess with a pigeon -- it knocks the pieces over, craps on the board, and flies back to its flock to claim victory."
- S.D. Weitzenhoffer, in 2005

I'm rolling on the floor laughing at the last quote!!! Oh, did I mention I saw a rat or mouse in my garage the other day?! I have set a mouse trap. I hope my vegan friends don't get mad... I love mice and rats, I truly do (remember, I live-trapped such "small mammals" for many years during my undergrad and graduate research!) but I will have a cow if it crawls in my walls and croaks...

Monday, December 01, 2008

Civil Disobedience

Clouds in the Himalayan foothills (around 10,000 ft!).
Copyright (c) 2008 Wendee Holtcamp


"Realistic" people who pursue "practical" aims are rarely as realistic or practical in the long run as dreamers who pursue their dreams.
-- Hans Selye

I started reading A Tale of Two Cities to my son, Sam, several months back. I read it to him at night, but not every night. It's a a long book, and it's got Victorian language which is actually why I wanted to read it to him. I want to work on his reading comprehension skills. He's a straight A student, but you know I feel like kids need to read the classics. He's in 7th grade, and has read Huck Finn and some other things but this is Charles Dickens...something every kid should read.

I am not saying I was ever a Dickens fan. I actually wanted to read the darn thing for myself. We're about 1/3 of the way through. So when I'm putting Sam to bed, I will read a bit and if it's confusing. I stop and say OK Sam what just happened? So far, I am enjoying it, though it's relatively slow. But Sam is bored to tears. I've mentioned this to a couple people, and they inevitably say "Oh, A Tale of Two Cities? Great book!" Hmm. That happened again today, and just a couple weeks ago I'd told Sam ok we can stop reading it. I am told that it gets better as it goes on. Today I was told the message is about ultimate sacrifice. So I guess I must continue... but I'm very interested in your thoughts. Did you read it? Like it? Hate it? I will say that Dickens has some very long sentences (but nothing compared to Descartes!)!

I also started reading Henry David Thoreau's On the Duty of Civil Disobedience, which is a short essay and reprinted at the back of my copy of Walden (which I hate to admit I haven't read). I am sure I read Civil Disobedience before, in high school, but I'm loving it! After I finish, I'll write more about this, but I find it particularly interesting because he is a proponent of the concept "That government is best which governs least” which we typically associate with the Republican party. His main reason is that government is corrupt. Ironically, after reading his essay, I'd tend to agree. But not that I'd align with the other issue sthat have dominated the Republican party of recent years. I think Ronald Reagan once said, "It's not that I've left my Party, it's that my Party has left me." That line was repeated in this campaign by some prominent Republicans - I can't remember off the top of my head. Maybe Buckley.

Gotta go, Christmas party tonight!