Wednesday, December 10, 2008

it's snowing in Houston!

Sam and Savannah skiing at Monarch Mountain, Colorado in March.
Copyright (c) 2008 Wendee Holtcamp

I kid you not. It is actually snowing in Houston. I've been here more than 10 years and this is a first. Actually we got snow one Christmas, but I had the gall to be in the Bahamas "skipping Christmas" with my awesome best friend Daline, since it was my first without the kids after the divorce.

I've been swamped, trying to wrap up some things before I head to Oregon and Washington so I have nothing too profound to say right now. OK I did have one little nugget. I talked to a dear friend today about letting go of the need to control versus feeling the need to KNOW what is going to happen. I'm not a big fan of uncertainty. I'm used to being in charge of so many things - my finances, my house, the kids, my students, yada yada yada. I have a really hard time letting go and letting God. I struggle with a sort of anxiety when I want a particular outcome. I know I've said this all before in so different words. But how long does it take before I can truly be in a place where I can let go?

You hear all this advice "if you just think positive" or "everything will be ok" - but the reality is, and this is what my friend and I were talking about, we really do NOT know that everything will be ok. We don't know a LOT more than we "know." All I know is that I love God, and that God is FOR me not against me (even as I struggle to truly incorporate that thought into my psyche), and that our actions have consequences on this earth.

OK I'm gonna go catch snowflakes on my tongue now!

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