Friday, August 26, 2005

the threefold way

If there is one thing I have learned from this recent situation it is to trust the skeptical voice. I'm not talking about becoming totally jaded or cynical, I mean just that trust takes time and needs to be earned. It's easy for women (don't know for men because I'm not one and I have more women friends) to weaken our boundaries --- to trust too soon, and to put up with mildly unacceptable behavior or to think that things will change.

The way a person is with one thing is the way they are with all things. Show them the door and don't look back - life is too short to waste time holding onto false hope that people will change - they rarely do. If the relationship and love is genuine they will be patient and honest, they will return to what is right immediately. If not, then it's not right. And if it's not right, no matter of time is going to change that. I have learned that there is no need to wait around for anyone. I don't believe that any man needs "time". I believe that when I knew something wasn't right, I was right, and it was wrong of me to try to justify another's absence or distance - if it didn't work for me, then I should have walked away and not kept holding onto hope. There is simply no justification that is acceptable. To heck with the sweet words, they turn bitter in the mouth. That reminds me of a bible passage "I took the little book out of the angel's hand, and ate it up. It was as sweet as honey in my mouth. When I had eaten it, my stomach was made bitter." Revelation 10:10

The whole passage some have suggested is about the Antichrist, who comes to power by way of deceiving the people with sweet words.

A friend called tonight to have me talk her out of calling her exboyfriend and I threw many verbal tomatoes at him and it did the job! LOL. We are so much more deserving than that kind of treatment. We rock. ;)

I've been thinking about an understanding of the universe and the right way to live that involves three aspects
(1) love, acceptance and tolerance of others
(2) knowledge of and protecting one's own boundaries
(3) critical eye inward: continual self-introspection to determine where one can improve.

Although we can love and accept all others with a godly, forgiving, prayerful and merciful love, because of aspect 2, we don't necessarily let all people into our lives. We have to know and protect our boundaries as to what is acceptable behavior within our own lives. The bible says not to judge, but there is a difference between hypocritical and self-righteous judgment, and spiritual discernment/righteous judgment (John 7:24) that allows us to decide what is right for following a path of love for God, humanity, and ourselves. Turning the critical eye inward ensures we don't stagnate. When you get older if you don't exercise you're going to gain weight and lose health. Staying in shape takes energy and effort. Likewise with spiritual growth.

As people get older I believe boundaries weaken. Many have come face to face with their weaknesses, and some give up that they will ever or can change. People use this excuse to justify further going down the wrong path. It's never to late to return to the path, and everyone has the ability to reach for the power and love and grace that comes from Jesus Christ. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Wendee, I just wanted to say I have bookmarked your blog and now look forward to reading it. I especially like your entry today. Boundaries are so important. I really believe high school classes should focus on this topic - much more important than geometry. I didn't learn about boundaries until my separation and divorce. It's one of the most valuable things I have learned in life. Thanks for some interesting, thought provoking ideas. Kim