sam's ginormous poopie adventure

sam said he would kill me if i actually posted a blog entry about this. we sat here at my computer giggling and struggling for the keyboard earlier. i told him that was one of the disadvantages of having a mom who is a writer, that lots of the little funny stories and things they do will end up in articles or my writing. i like to say what i read in Anne Lamott's book, and that is if you don't want to be written about you should have behaved yourself better in the first place. truth must be told.

so on to sam's ginormous poop. for a little pipsqueak darling that he is, that boy has the biggest poops in the history of planet earth. i can not tell you how many times i have personally unclogged the toilet after him. and he is so proud of himself when he clogs the toilet. he gets a big shit-eating grin and walks around all self-righteous like it is something truly to be proud of. savannah brought "sam's ginormous poop" (her words) to my attention today when she was about to get the in the shower. in her little sarcastic manner she is like "i am just TRYING to have a shower without the disGUSTing smell of sam's ginormous POOP!" ah days in the life of being a mommy - and a single one at that whereby i am responsible for all these lovely tasks like unclogging toilets.

i like to tell the story of my self-named "i-don't-need-a-man grill" that came to me in a gajillion pieces and i put it together myself on super bowl sunday without a single bit of help - a gas grill - and it works and i love it. so one day i bought a backyard patio table and was putting it together and the kids were helping and i said "i will call this my i don't need a man table" - and then at some point i got stuck. i could not do something and i was like, darnit, i am going to have to call daddy. so then savannah and sam figured it out all by themselves, and then savannah said to me, "you can call it the i-don't-need-a-man, but-i-do-need-two-very-smart-kids table." she is so funny.

oh and at bedtime i asked sam why he did not want me to post this, and he said because it was embarrassing that his mom would write about poop! i said why do you care what anyone thinks? it was not that his friends might see it or that he was embarrassed about his toilet-clogging, it was that his mom, heaven forbid, is a bit offcolor. ah well, such is life. i never was normal. today in the grocery store we were getting some things and i yelled out woohoo just for fun. savannah looked at me shocked for a moment and then started jumping on me - she is getting very tall and almost bowls me over! she said mom you are crazy. i said why be normal? normal is boring.