crucify

Copyright (c) 2006 Wendee Holtcamp
The waterfront in Redcliffe

I just bought Tori Amos' Little Earthquakes CD when I was at the mall the other day with Jenny, and I love it! I've never actually listened to Tori Amos though everybody tells me she's great. So I bought it and am absolutely loving her music, lyrics, and voice. I related to this song, Crucify... love this: "You're just an empty cage girl if you kill the bird." I was reading a bit online about Tori, and apparently her song Me and a Gun was written about a time when she took a customer home, and he raped her. She co-founded The Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) in 1994 and as a victim myself of both rape and sexual abuse, I am glad to see someone else in the creative arts talking openly about such things. The song Me and a Gun is haunting.

Jenny and I had our traditional brekky on the waterfront at the Coffee Club this morning, so I'll post some pics later. I am not having much success writing my book. It's a bit hard to focus here, and I'm dying to get home.

I'm restless. I am restless for home, for love, for warmth, for grace, for the familiarity of the land from whence I came, for family, for hugs, for eyes, for warmth, for my continent, for the oceans of hope and sunshine and laughter that lie there awaiting me. Now though I must abide and enjoy. Such a challenge, sometimes!

Crucify

Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I wanna spit in their faces
Then I get afraid what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach
I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now
I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior underneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in
Just what God needs
One more victim
Why do we crucify ourselves everyday?
I crucify myself
And nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself everyday
I crucify myself
My heart is sick of bein'
I said my heart is sick of bein' in
Chains (oh-oh-oh)
Chains (oh-oh-oh)
Got a kick for a dog beggin' for love
I gotta have my suffering
So that I can have my cross
I know a cat named Easter
He says Will you ever learn?
You're just an empty cage girl if you kill the bird.
I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in
Got enough guilt to start
My own religion
Why do we crucify ourselves everyday?
I crucify myself
My heart is sick of bein'
I said my heart is sick of bein' in
Chains (oh-oh-oh)
Chains (oh-oh-oh)
Please be
Save me
I cry
(ah-ah ah-ah)
Looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in
Where are those angels
When you need them?
Why do we crucify ourselves everyday?
I crucify myself
And nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself everyday
I crucify myself
My heart is sick of bein'
I said my heart is sick of bein' in
Chains (oh-oh-oh)
Chains
Why do we... (Why do we)
Chains (crucify ourselves?)
Crucify ourselves
Everyday (Why do we)
(crucify ourselves?)
Chains... (repeat backing refrain)
Never going back again
Crucify myself again
You know
Never going back again to
Crucify myself
Everyday

- Tori Amos

Jenny at the Coffee Club, an Australian restaurant that we go to every time I visit which is on the waterfront in Redcliffe. It has very yummy coffee and brekky!

We both got this same thing - poached eggs on "Turkish bread" with avocado, tomato, cheese and shaved ham. Yummy!