penis balloons and other funnies

OK this made me laugh, so anything that makes me laugh when the moon is full and my spirit is sapped is a good thing. People Magazine online (yes, I admit I read it) had an article about Ellen DeGeneres interviewing Christina Aguilera:

Aguilera, 27, did not demure when talked turned to her son's Bris. "We are not a very conservative couple," she told DeGeneres. "For decorations we put up penis balloons all over the place. It was really fun, it was really great." A stunned Ellen replied: "Really, they have penis balloons in a shop ... you can just buy them?"

That made me laugh out loud!!! I've been down a bit but today I'm feeling resurgent again. It's a full moon and as a Cancer, I'm ruled by the Moon... I know all the scientists will think I'm nuts and all the Christians think I'm a heretic, but I'm telling you one day scientists will discover a link between the zodiac signs and certain personaity traits! No matter what you say! But I don't read the "prediction" type horoscopes... I just stick to the explanations of personality. I'm tellin ya!

Today I woke to take the kids to school, shot some photos for the school, then went back to bed until 130pm. I love the freelance life! When I'm down, I just feel like sleeping. I love to sleep. I love my all-white comfy bed that is like a big cloud with a down comforter. Mmmmmm. And so you don't think I'm a total slouchy slacker, I do tend to stay up super late at night, writing and slaving away. My friend and I call one another the ghoulie girls because we're both up like vampires in the wee hours of the night!! I can be very prolific in between my ADHD-like checking of CNN, People (my two favorite sites), friends blogs, Myspace, Facebook, Googling my name, and researching and writing articles. Speaking of MySpace, check out my new (public) profile! http://www.myspace.com/ecowriter

Tonight I'm going to crank out a draft of my article on the Gulf Dead Zone. I'll put up some pics of the trip very soon!

imagine my surprise...

When I walked in the room to see my darling daughter typing on my blog again. I would have deleted it but I laughed so hard when I read what she wrote I about fell off my chair. OK, really I was standing up but it just sounds better to say fell off my chair. Fell over?! I was laughing pretty hard. The video is kind of funny and kind of stupid! But what can I say, they're kids!

And imagine my surprise when I learned that one of my favorite words, transmogrify, is an actual factual word! I had always read it in Calvin & Hobbes cartoons but I thought it was made up. But I used it to describe the involuntary sex change and color change of a Mardi Gras wrasse in an article I'm writing and my spell checker didn't flash "no no no no!" I thought hmm, maybe this is really a word. And sure enough it means:

transmogrify \trans-MOG-ruh-fy\, transitive verb: To change into a different shape or to transform, often with bizarre or humorous effect.

One person in my writing critique group said I should get the verb of the year award for using transmogrify in my writing! LOL. More soon, I have to go get the blog-criminal from confirmation :)

Savie Attack!!!!

I, Savie, RULE!!!! I am sooooooooooooooooo cool. My mom has a bazillion pairs of *** floss. I have to do the laundry. I should know. Oh, and the coolest YouTube video ever is The Gummy Bear Song in German. WATCH IT!!!! There's also swedish, english, german, spanish, spanglish, czech, hungarian, french, and I think a few others. You should hear me say that. I say it reeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaallllyyyyyy fast.
Exquisitely, Savie:)!!!!!
P.S. German version (below) is the best!
P.S.S. I ROCK!!!!

turning things on their ear

Isn't it great how as soon as you think one thing, God turns it on its ear? So here I was writing about how I was happy that I was unaffected by the negative criticism that I knew wasn't accurate (a wonderful Godly man I know once said that he always listens to criticism and asks God, "What do You have in this for me?" Learn from anything that could be true, and then discard the rest, and don't let it get to you). And with a group of friends, I'm working through Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way workbook, and she also has sage advice on Dealing With Criticism.

So not a day after I was so proud of myself for thinking I didn't mind the ridiculous negative comments I realized that while I genuinely don't care about the people who I don't care about (well I care about them as human beings, but I don't care what they think of me), I sometimes put too much weight on what people I want to like me think, or my friends, and what they think... There are people that I genuinely really like or feel a connection with, and I really do not want to say things to upset them - or rock the boat. However being the sometimes too-honest and heart-on-my-sleeve person that I am, I often share my thoughts when maybe I should just shut the heck up, and then I obsess about whether I said too much, or in the wrong way, or.... you get the picture. So maybe I really do need to continue looking only to God for what He would have me to do, or think, or say.

But I also got to thinking, in line with the teachings of Debbie Ford (author of The Best Year of Your Life, and Dark Side of the Light Chasers) how even what we perceive as our most negative traits are part of our makeup, and instead of hating or despising them we should look at what we gain from them. If we're a bitch sometimes, then ask, are there certain situations where being a little bit of a bitch can help?

So I think that maybe while I should ultimately draw my self-love from the love I believe God has for me (and for all people), the trait of being hyper-sensitive to how others feel about me can help me constantly be aware of, and introspective towards, what I may be saying or doing that could hurt someone - even if I don't intend to. It allows me to apologize or make amends, even when the person hasn't expressed to me that they were hurt. People often don't.

silliness

"There's something liberating about not pretending. Dare to embarrass yourself. Risk"

- Drew Barrymore.

OK if you all didn't already think I was a bit loony (not to mention my kiddos), now I'm sure you will have no doubt! It all started when, after watching the movie Stardust (which was pretty cool by the way) S decided to put clothespins on his ears. (Ah I wish I had the picture of his dad sitting in the bath with baby Savi with the plastic earring things on his nose and ears to go with it... but I digress.)

Then S decides he'd put them on my head, or hair rather, forming "horns."

Very nice touch. Devil mama I guess?!

S #1 is getting a bit loony in the background, making faces.

And a great big hug! We give lots of hugs in our family! :) And earlier in the day we were jumping up and down like kangaroos!


Bless his wittle heart, that boy. S brought me in this flower from our garden today with a big smile on his face. (This from the boy, recall, who said "Why do you buy people flowers on Valentine's day? Why not just take them to the flower shop and let them look around?!" (in all seriousness!) Or maybe he was pulling a fast one on me. ;)

And I'll end with an awesome quote about love from the Stardust movie, "I know that love is unconditional but I also know it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable, and strangely easy to mistake for loathing." And she (the Star Yvaine who had fallen to earth, became a woman and fallen in love with a young man, Tristan) also said "My chest can barely contain it, like it doesn't belong to me anymore." And last, I'm going to go watch Across the Universe which I've wanted to watch since it was in theatres but didn't get to. I adore the Beatles, so this should be good. It's been a good lazy day, getting some work done, and some play. G'nite!

celebrating my kiddos

Driving in the car yesterday, my son says to me, "Mom, I don't understand why you buy people flowers for Valentine's Day?" I said, "Well it's just a nice thing to do. People like flowers." He says "Why don't you just take them to a flower shop and look around?"

At this point I'm cracking up. But I try to explain that you can put them on your desk or kitchen table and it looks pretty and reminds you of the nice gesture. He then adds, "Well then why not just take a picture?" I can see I have a little work to do on his romantic skills. And this from a boy who from when he was a toddler would always pick wildflowers and give them to me! I have hope he'll revert to his old ways.

My daughter just told me that her favorite store Justice has a new line of "green" clothes, and lots of "tree hugger stuff." "I think you would like it," she said. "Do you think I am a tree hugger?" I said. "YES! Mom, you are the ultimate tree hugger hippie freak." LMAO!

Today I celebrated my kids with a yummy dinner. I have an ice cube tray with hearts, and I made these by using red food coloring in orange juice. Then I place 3 ice cubes in each glass, which we filled with sparkling apple cider. It was good!

Dinnertime! I bought the kids a couple roses and set the table all nice, and made red-dyed orange juice ice hearts in their glasses of sparkling cider, lemon chicken cutlets, spinach salad, pears, and parmesan rissotto. And amazingly both kids ate EVERY bite!!
OK the pic didn't turn out great, but we here's a pic of the lemon chicken cutlets (it's dipped in lemon juice then breaded and cooked in a little bit of oil), parmesan risotto (don't worry, I'm not that prodigious - it's from a box - BUT it was an organic and all-natural one!) and spinach salad. It was all very good!!

OK I look like a dork but whatever... I think this is the first picture of my daughter with her braces! :)

The best part - both kids ate every bite including salad!! This was the first time I'd made this recipe and made the risotto- ka-ching!

I'll leave you with some of my favorite quotes. Wishing lots of love and light and laughter to you!!

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
-- Shakespeare's Hamlet

It is not by accident that the happiest people are those who make a conscious effort to live useful lives. Their happiness, of course, is not a shallow exhilaration where life is one continuous intoxicating party. Rather, their happiness is a deep sense of inner peace that comes when they believe their lives have meaning and that they are making a difference for good in the world.
-- Ernest Fitzgerald

The road to glory is not strewn with flowers.
-- Jean de la Fontaine

Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
-- Harold Whitman

In the end we shall have had enough of cynicism and skepticism and humbug and we shall want to live more musically.
– Vincent van Gogh

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
-- Mark Twain

a blessed day

I had an awesome day! After the crazy stress of the "nightmare day" I'll share a good story! I had a lazy morning with a phone call from my elderly friend Carmine telling me about the beautiful snows there in Ohio, and then was supposed to have lunch with a friend/colleague at 1230. He called at 1220 and thought we'd agreed to meet at 12, but I remember very clearly because the 1215 was "15 minutes early" so we could take his car down! So, he was irritated, I could tell, so I said do you want to reschedule? He hesitated but said no, let's go ahead.

So I got downtown and his directions were wrong, so I called and was like I'm on this street, where do I go? He got irritated and goes, "Wendee, calm down, you need to pull over and let me give you directions," kind of sternly, so I was like, that's kinda rude, so I said, "look I think you sound stressed and it's stressing me out so why don't we just forget it for today." He said "You're right, ok. [Pause] Bye" and hung up the phone. And immediately I thought, well that's that.

So you'd think that might have upset me, but I really wasn't upset at all, which was part of the reason it is such a cool day - to not get emotionally riled. So there I was in Minute Maid Park parking lot so I called a few friends to see who might be able to meet for lunch since I was already down there. I have a bunch of friends who live "downtown" (I call anything out of the 'burbs where I live "downtown"). Within 5minutes I chatted briefly with like 4 friends, which was nice in itself - and one had a baby THAT MORNING! (his wife was in the hospital so he couldn't get away for lunch) but I ended up going over to see my friend David from Rice grad school who has a 18-mo baby boy who I'd never seen yet! The boy was so adorable but the second he saw me he started crying!!! LOL. I mean, he took one look at me and just started crying and ran to his daddy! Most babies like me :) David said he is never like this! Maybe it was my pony tails?!

David and I went to Mi Luna which is one of my favorite restaurants in Rice Village and had some Spanish Tapas. I'm STILL full! Yummy! And by then baby boy was all happy again. So while having a wonderful lunch talking about Christianity and religion and relationships and life (David is an atheist) and first I got a text message from the other person and then he sent a really insulting email - 3 copies of the same one in fact. Two identical and then one with a FW in the subject so I guess he really wanted to make sure I got it!

Let's see, he called me "insulting, rude and selfish not to mention irrational." and "I'm sorry but that little snapshot spoke volumes about your personality and character." This is from an almost complete stranger!!

LOL! I mean, seriously!! I look at myself with fairly clear view of my strengths and flaws, but with absolute honesty, I was not insulting, I didn't curse, or yell or raise my voice at him in ANY way! His out of proportion response of his is so ludicrous that it makes me laugh when I read it! I was mildly flustered due to his incorrect directions, and his already obvious frustration to the time mix-up (whatever happened to patience?) and was then trying to ask him directions so I could find the right street in the one-way craziness that is downtown. I did not "yell" - and trust me, I know! I was just trying to get a quick answer so I could turn while driving without getting rammed because downtown can be crazy insane with all the one way streets. Regardless, why send out such a mean email? No one's perfect, but when I got the email I was like, whatever dude!

I've seen people project their own stress (or how previous relationships acted) into others' actions so I can maybe understand him thinking I was getting upset when I was just trying to get going the right way. But the fact that HE felt compelled to send me both the rude text and this email says a lot. What's the point? At one point in my life I might have done the same thing but I've learned (am learning) often it's wisest to just let it go. Why waste the energy? Why hurt people's feelings? If one really has something negative and critical to say, it's best couched in love, especially as a Christian, which he is. Anyway I have no idea why this situation made me happy other than seeing that this negative stimulus did not upset me. I think (I hope) it's that increasingly I'm drawing my confidence comes in knowing that I am fully and deeply loved by God, and not perfect but forgiven, and also have so many amazing friends who have the traits of Christ (including those who are not Christians) - forgiving, patient, kind...

I also have decided that if I reply at all to this guy it will be to apologize and to acknowledge any of my part in the situation, and maybe encourage him to know that I also forgive him - because the Lord says to bless those who curse us. I choose to take the "best spin" which is, he's probably under a lot of stress and having a bad day. He's not a bad person, and I even would consider working with him and starting over possibly IF he could be humble enough to admit his flaws (because that is the most charming trait to me!).

OK so anyway, then as I was driving home I was just listening to music and felt so happy. Then I got home and get this! I got a Valentine's card from God! :D Remember, yesterday I told the story of the woman speaker who lamented not getting celebrated when her hubby did, and I related because as a single mom I don't get "celebrated" too much. Well one year she said she got this b-day cake from this great cake shop sort of randomly, she told us, "You may get a birthday cake from your family but I GOT A BIRTHDAY CAKE FROM GOD!" which was really cute and funny. So today I got a Valentine's Card from my pastor and his wife, and they wrote, "You are such a delightful woman of God. We love you!" And I just felt so happy. And I thought, You may get a Valentine's Card from your spouse or partner, but I GOT A VALENTINE'S CARD FROM GOD! :) It just made me happy. And then I also got a check in the mail - and that is always a happy day!!

Oh and earlier on the way home I stopped by the kids' school and got hugs from the kids and a hug from Savannah's best friend who called me "Aunt Wendee" and said "because you're nicer than my real aunt!" ;) She had never said that before, and she wasn't a kid who often hugged me either so it was very cute and sweet. :) Blessing on blessing - my cup runneth over.

an emotional weekend

I went to my church's women's retreat this past weekend and it was emotionally wrenching. In a good way. The overall theme was about hidden longings. Sometimes in our lives we are in circumstances, marriages, situations that seem to deny our longings and if we're committed to living a Christian life, it can be incredibly frustrating to figure out whether these longings are distractions pulling us away from God and God's will, temptations, or if they have a greater purpose...

The speakers talked about how God has placed these longings within us and that they're a part of who He created us to be. One of the speakers spoke on how her husband's parents always came down to celebrate his birthday and yet her own family was more splintered, and so when her birthday came around, she always felt sad and that no one was really "celebrating her." She'd had an absentee father and when she was really young (around 5), she'd longed for relationship with him. Then one year, he showed up to visit and she thought that was it, and they'd continue their father-daughter relationship from then on out. Then she didn't see him again for many years.... As a result, she learned to push down those longings for a father and to be loved and celebrated so that she wouldn't be disappointed. She got the message not to hope, so as not to be disappointed. But no matter how much we deny those longings they stay buried and don't disappear, and by not acknowledging them we hurt ourselves.

I so related to this because I had to choose between my parents when I was 8 years old. I chose my dad, and he won custody. I left the courtroom that very day with him, and didn't speak to my mom for a long time because my dad didn't have a phone. The judge wouldn't let me go home with her and my stepdad because he worried she would kidnap me (I don't think they would have - in fact I'm sure they wouldn't have - but that is what the judge said in the transcript!). I left the courtroom without any clothes except what I had on me. Because I had to choose between parents and not live with both nearby, I got the message I could not have it all. I had to choose between two things that every kid really needs. As someone once told me, that was a grown-up burden placed on a child that was not in a position to have that level of responsibility and guilt.

In life, we don't always get what we want, and we can learn and grow stronger in the process from loss. But where we have the choice, I strongly believe divorced parents need to do everything in their power to allow their kids to have both in their lives on a daily basis. It's why I refused to have a huge custody battle, and committed to staying in Houston until the kids are out of high school even though I am like a square peg in a round hole in conservative Texas! I am hippie spawn! :) But maybe those around me need to learn that being a "liberal" Christian or a Democrat or a bohemian gypsy wanderer is not so weird. I have a lot of love, and in the end, love is all that matters.

Anyway so after living with dad in the log cabin for a couple years, I went back to live with my mom. Again I had to choose. My dad didn't even have a phone, and letter writing was not his thing. So when I moved back with my mom, I lost my dad. I didn't talk to him hardly ever, but I'd spend every summer with him. These days as a single mom when my birthday or Christmas comes around, I don't get a huge celebration of "me" like people do when they're married. My kids sometimes make a little something but I don't have the "husband" to "help" the kids create a celebration of mom. And though I can put on the face that I don't care and I don't need anybody, it can hurt sometimes. When I joke about it, or even mention it to others, people don't laugh with me about it - I think they look at me like I said I had green antennae growing out of my head! I think they don't know what to say. But I have also learned that when we have longings, we should not play the victim or the poor-poor pitiful me. If I need to feel celebrated, well then I should celebrate! So last birthday I threw myself a party and so many of my friends showed up that I felt truly blessed! If we need to feel celebrated and loved, we love those who are in our lives deeply and truly and they will show up when we need it.

Saturday night at the retreat I can only describe as an intense spiritual battle that I won't give the details of, but I was absolutely heartbroken and prayed and felt bewildered and was going to drive home but I sat in my car and didn't have any idea how to get out of there (it was a remote camp/cabin place in the middle of nowhere). Then this wonderful lady from our church came and prayed with me and I decided to stay but leave at 6am so I could go to church. But on Sunday morning I decided to stay at the retreat and listen to our pastor's wife talk and I'm so glad that I did. Her talk was so moving and emotional and again I related so much! She talked about how she would put on a smile even when she was not happy inside because she'd gotten that message as a child - smile and be happy or you won't be liked. She talked about knowing a lot of people and that everyone liked her but she didn't have many/any close friends. I completely related to that! She talked about how much that smile has cost her. For me, it's not necessarily a smile or happy face, but I create this aura that I am an island, and that I am super independent. I can do it all. I can buy my own house, pay my bills as a self-employed writer, and I don't need anybody. Yet what that cost her - and me - for a long time was that I didn't have any close friends, and now a life partner (and of course I distanced myself from Matt even in the marriage). Since my divorce I have spent much time building the friendships that I'd kept at a distance and so I feel I've mastered some of that, but most of my friends do not live close by me, so that can be tough too. But it's something I recognized and have been working through.

The last part of the retreat that just really made me bawl was when she played this clip from the movie "Shall We Dance," where Richard Gere's character has been in this happy marriage for many years but he just feels sad and he feels this longing he can't explain, so he ends up starting ballroom dancing lessons but he keeps it from his wife. He becomes very good at it and does competitions, etc. His wife thinks he's having an affair, and when she finds out he's dancing she confronts him and doesn't understand why he wouldn't share that with him. He says he was ashamed to want something more, because they had so much. He had these longings and needed to fulfill them to feel fully alive and to fulfill his life's purposes. We all seek love, but finding a life partner is not the only thing that we humans need - and in some ways it can actually distract from doing the purpose God has laid out for each of us.

I so related to this, and started bawling because although I'd seen this movie I never saw it in this way. It was exactly why my marriage fell apart. I had been deeply unhappy - not because of the marriage itself (though at the time I blamed that) but because the internal longings that God placed inside of me were not being met. I felt that I had to choose. I left the marriage to follow my passion of traveling and writing and developing my friendships, but like I've long told people who asked why I got divorced - I don't think I made the right choice by thinking it had to be one or the other. I took a fork in the road, when I could have had the fork and the spoon ;). Of course hindsight is always 20/20. At the time I actually blamed the marriage. I thought he needed to do this that or the other thing to "make me happy" but that is such hogwash! I learned that even though I felt unloved, that was my own emotional baggage from my past, and that truly he loved me more than anyone else ever has - in a deep, true, way. He wasn't perfect to be sure, but who is? He has been there for me. During our separation even I told him I didn't really want to get divorced, that I wasn't sure. He said we need to get on with it and just do it. Sometimes choices are so unclear. The enemy preys on us like a hungry lion. If only I had listened to and followed my voice hesitating, and insisted on waiting and not going through with the divorce... things might be different now.

But life goes on. I am truly happier now, and have healed so many of my hurts of the past. Day by day I will just continue to walk in the light and learn whatever lessons come along, and try to do my best.

swimming with sharks

No not the sharks I'm dealing with related to my car situation... I have a new adventure in the works! In April I'm headed back to Australia to write about a white-tipped shark research project for Discovery Channel!!!!!! (You will be able to read my live posts from there at http://discovery.blogs.com/ but I'll post the exact URL when it gets closer). Check out the research: http://www.sharkresearch.com/ and specifically here about white-tips.

I'm sooo thrilled! Actually I'm a wee bit apprehensive about swimming with the sharks (and Savannah also said she didn't want me to!) but I am more excited than you can imagine to go back to the magical country that has my heart! I love that place. And I will go a few days early (or stay late) to visit my friends Jenny and Rin!

I have so much work to do or I'd write more. I have a lot of blog posts I've written in my mind... Guess they will have to wait. :)

my new blog look

I had fun designing my new blog header. I took the pics; this is where they're from:

• On the left is an orchid and a leafhopper in the Peruvian cloud forest on Road from Cusco toward the Manu Biosphere Reserve.
  
• This is a sunset shot of Leon Dormido, aka Kicker Rock, in the Galapagos Islands.
  
• This is a flower garden with lavender and poppies at Green Gulch Zen Center outside of San Francisco.
  
• Mist in the Peruvian Amazon rainforest. I shot this from a gravelly/rocky sandbar in the Madre de Dios River
  
• Marine iguanas on Fernandina Island in the Galapagos archipelago. My Galapagos photo gallery is online here

I had so many more to use, but those just were some of my favorites and fit well together. I really need to look into getting my photos together for a stock agency, or to market more... so many things to do, so little time. Wish someone would send me a personal assistant! And while we're at it, I'm still waiting for my Aeron Chair! I gotta get up at 5am for my day on the Gulf, so I better hit the sack. The guys told me that if they catch a bunch of shrimp they just cook them up on the boat for lunch! Yum!

a nightmare day

I have been dealing with a horrible car repair shop that damaged my transmission in the process of attempting to fix it (A+ Transmission in Kingwood - don't go there!). I am now having my credit card company dispute the charge and thank God for consumer protection laws! A+ has threatened to repossess my car if I dispute the charge, but according to what I have gathered, the Texas Debt Collection Practices Act prevents them from threatening or doing repo if the charge is in dispute. Which it is. But according to at least one attorney they have done this to other people - repossess their cars and then bill you for the service, and holding your car. However my credit card company says that if that happens, to contact them right away and they will involve their fraud department and the local police. So who knows what will happen the next few days and weeks, but it's bound to be exciting. And stressful.

I am heading off to spend a day on the Gulf of Mexico with some coastal fisheries people to report on the Gulf Dead Zone. I hope I don't get sea sick. I am leaving now for a 2-hour drive to port Arthur and then will be back tomorow, if we don't get washed to sea in a freak storm. The Perfect Storm. I never saw that movie, and I hope not to live it!! Ciao and Godspeed.

Idrinkmypee.com & other Nepal stories

I got back from Nepal in November, but I have hundreds of photos I still haven't gone through yet. I'm putting these online now - just a few more from my collection. These are actually for an editor, but since I'm putting them online, I may as well tell you all a little about them. And I also wanted to let you know I'm in the process of typing up my journal entries to give a day-to-day account so you can make a bit more sense of the random jumble of photos. However paid work must come first! :) And FYI those who haven't seen the rest of the Nepal pics, my best and favorite photos are here.

I'll post a link here when I get the travelogue up. There is some funny stuff in there!! Like the fact that one of the travelers, no joke, drinks his pee every day. For "health" reasons. I kid you not! And he was not ashamed of it, and said I could blog about it. We had this dialogue when he told the group, and he was like, "It's healthy for you. It's well known." And I was like, "Where do you go to find that info"? One of the other guys, Chuckles - ever the witty one - immediately pipes up "IDrinkMyPee.com" Needless to say I laughed so hard at that and still do every time I think of it!! And no, there is not really an Idrinkmypee.com because when I got home, I checked!! (To find information, according to my pee devotee friend, google "urine therapy" not "drink pee"). I am laughing!! Hey if Bear Grylls does it... A view from one of our campsites. This really exemplifies a couple of things. First, in Nepal there is a lot of deforestation. All of this used to be forest, even within the time Brian Williams, The Red Panda Project Director, has worked there over the past 10 years. Second, it shows the clouds that are constantly rolling in and out and over the top of you. Literally they would enshroud you as you walked along the trail, and then pass on and leave the scenery open again. It would get cold when they covered the ground, and sometimes rainy or snowy, and it got hot - or warm - when they went back away.

This is a photo of a home in the town of Ilam. It could be southern California! The homes mostly used these colors of earthy blue and red, and everyone grows marogolds because they are used in their religious ceremonies. Ilam is one of the better off towns in Nepal. Not everywhere is as well maintained and it had its own flair and style.

A neat shot of flowers growing near a wall at the home of the Conlons, who own the company Above the Clouds. They have homes in both Nepal and the U.S..

Another home in Ilam. Everyone has lots of flowers around their home, which I think is pretty cool.
This is a rustic fence on a misty day, as we hiked and climbed around looking for red panda in the forest - which was down the hill. You can't see the forest from this shot because the hlils are pretty steep and we had already climbed way back up by this point - plus it's kind of obscured in the photo by fog. We didn't find any red panda that day. Not yet.

This house on the hill so reminds me of the description of the "tipsy house" in the book, Memoirs of a Geisha! That house was overlooking the ocean though.

Dhurbar Square in the Patan region of Kathmandu. This place had amazing architecture!

A close-up of an intricate door in Dhurbar Square. Dhurbar means The King's square, and there are several Dhurbar squares in Kathmandu. This one is in the Patan region.
A carving of the Hindu god Ganesh at a restaurant in Patan where we had some tea.
Nepali soldiers patrolling, I guess, in Dhurbar Square in Patan. I only saw soldiers in Kathmandu, not outside of the city anywhere.

A photo of a bunch of kids in a town where they were having a market day. I can't remember the town but they must not have seen many foreigners because of all the kids and people in various towns we went through, these kids and people stared at us like none other - like they'd never seen outsiders! I mean they STARED! But when I'd interact with the kids, and say hello, they were so interested and I'd take their photo and show it to them and they loved it. They were really cute.

Langur monkeys grooming at the Monkey Temple, aka Swayambunath, in Kathmandu.

A shot of the long staircase going up to the top of the monkey temple, with Buddhas lining either side, and Tibetan prayer flags visible. This is just a fraction of the staircase. There are probably 1,000 stairs, or more!!

The Himalayas. This shot was taken near the India border.

Another view of the Himalayas. I initially thought this was Mount Everest (Sagarmatha in Nepali) but it's Mount Kanchenjunga, the world's 3rd highest mountain - the broad mountain in the center. To the left is Mount Jannu (aka Khumbukarna). I'm still verifying this, but this is according to my sources!

Mount Jannu (aka Khumbukarna) close up.

Tim Gorski, Producer of It's Your World with the Cultural Film Fund looking off, with Mount Everest in the far distance and Tibetan prayer flags nearby.

A pony in the snow. This was taken just around the hill from Santapur, on the Nepal-India border.

Mary Lou Stahl: in memoriam

Today I went to the funeral/memorial service for Mary Lou Stahl. I wrote an article about Carmine, her husband of 57 years, which appeared in the Feb 2007 Texas Parks & Wildlife magazine (Papa Stahl). He is a truly remarkable man. He was a Methodist minister for many years, and then when he retired he became a naturalist at Jesse Jones Nature Park in Humble, Texas. I had met him a few years back when he and I were volunteering on biological surveys with Legacy Land Trust (a nonprofit that sets up conservation easements on forest and other wild land around Houston). I just love Carmine. He is so sharp, and so interesting. He loves edible plants, like Matt does, and wrote Trees of Texas. Anyway, when I met with him to interview him for the TPW magazine piece, Mary Lou came with him as well as his daughter and her husband. The photo to the right I took that day at Jones Park. Mary Lou has suffered from Alzheimer's for the past few years, and she found great comfort in having Carmine always near. They were married for 57 years - that is truly amazing. I was blessed to listen to the stories people told today at her memorial. I really enjoy their family - they are down to earth, kind and wonderful people.

Mary Lou's son-in-law read Carmine's beautiful tribute during the service, and it brought tears to my eyes (and his!) He clearly loved her so very very much. We spoke by phone before he came down to Houston and it was clear he was heartbroken. I know with death even when we expect it, it's not something that we can ever prepare for. It reminds me of the opening of Water for Elephants when Jacob, who had been married for many years, describes his grief. (I wish I had the book here to quote from but I listened to it on CD). Anyway, I only met Mary Lou late in her life but from hearing everyone speak about her I sure wish I could have known her longer. I look forward to hanging out with her in heaven! Her son-in-law said there were two Mary Lous. The quiet, soft-spoken woman, and the one who stood up against injustice and was a force to be reckoned with. He told a story about how Prairie View College wouldn't allow black students to vote and so at a meeting with the college President, she would raise her hand and ask, "When are you going to let the black students vote?" and he avoided the question, so it became a refrain and she kept asking it. Then whenever anyone else raised their hand, they started to ask the same question. And everyone started asking it. "When are you going to let black students have a vote?" Soon after that, the college started letting black students vote.

The female pastor at Hosanna Lutheran, where the Stahls attended for many years and where the funeral service was held, spoke of Mary Lou and mentioned that they both were Democrats and made the joke that it was rare in her field :) (ie in Christianity). I got a laugh out of that one! Mary Lou was part Choctaw and part Cherokee. She authored the book, The Ones That Got Away: a Choctaw Trail of Tears, a family history of the Mississippi Choctaw who chose to leave the tribe to avoid confinement in reservations. I read the book when I was writing the article for TPW magazine and really enjoyed it, and her spirit and humor.

There were many more stories told there, and it was a loving tribute to a remarkable woman, mom, author, wife, friend to many. I put up a reprint of a self-published book that Carmine wrote called Papa Stahl's Wild Stuff Cookbook on the Spring Creek Greenway website, which I designed. It has a photo of the two of them and is a neat little site.
http://www.springcreekgreenway.com/wildstuff.htm

Even when life is long, life is short. Gives lots of hugs, and tell everyone you love them! :)

food, oh the joys

I've been a little cranky the past couple days. I am sure it's just PMS, but you know sometimes I just zap off emails pretty quickly and don't take the time to couch my words with gentleness. It's not that what I'm saying is not what I feel, or what I think is wise or right (as my opinion) but I know I could sometimes do better by being a little gentler in my wording. Sometimes I just don't feel like it. I'm not talking about my last blog about the slippery snakes of the intelligent design movement - that can stand. I mean emails to friends. I just get impatient sometimes. Sometimes it's just that I am in a hurry, or using my Blackberry which is kind of a pain in the butt to type on. But sometimes I just am like, whatever, this is what I think dangit! I never mean to hurt anyone's feelings. But I should also remember that we are all fragile flames, as Jewel says, and a little sensitivity is always a good thing.

So I've been cooking a good deal lately and all I have to say is it takes a lot of darn time to cook. And clean. And to warm things back up and put it back away in all the little Tupperware containers. And you think you're going to save money by planning all these meals and cooking from scratch but darnit if you don't end up paying out the wazoo for all the special ingredients you need, and even when you swear you're going to modify recipes and only use what you have on hand you STILL end up going to the grocery store every single bloody day. And I mean literally every single day for 2 weeks in a row! I'm either out of milk. Or fruit. Or soy milk. Or coffee. Or today it was wheat germ! Yes wheat germ, which I needed for a recipe to make homemade granola bars for the kids lunches. Well they didn't have wheat germ in bulk and the hell if I was going to spend $4 for a jar of wheat germ so I substituted wheat bran in the bulk section. Cost - $0.17. Not bad. But I think I've spent that extra $3 in gas money for all the grocery trips. Or $30! Oh and the point I was going to make is that it probably costs a lot less to just buy the darn $2.50 box of freaking granola bars by the time you add in the cost of all the ingredients and the time it takes me to cook and clean up! But the granola bars are pretty darn good at least.

Oh and then another problem with cooking is that the kids don't like most of these new recipes, though I think they're all divine. Or if one kid does, the other doesn't. So I end up with a refrigerator full of stuff that only I will eat! In my fridge right now, I've got a huge crock pot of tortilla soup, a cabbage-Granny Smith apple salad, and ginger soup, some black beans I made from scratch, and an eggplant-white bean-tomato salad with parsley pesto. Plus tonight I made Thai food. A quick recipe of rice noodles with peanut sauce with broccoli, snow peas and chicken. (yes I know I'm being a "bad vegetarian" - but the kids insist on meat, and I just cook it when they're here for the most part though I'm being about a 10% carnivore). Savie liked it, but Sam thought it was dee-skus-ting. So I made him noodles with just butter and parmesan cheese and he ate that but I said look you have to eat at least one piece of chicken. And you woulda thought I was subjecting the boy to some ritualized torture. The look on his face, and the way he chewed it, and how long it took him... I'm like just put the dang thing in your mouth and chew it and be done with it!!

Oh well, what can you do.

lies and deception

Although I wrote in my previous post: "The whole problem with intelligent design as 'science' is that the concept has a predefined result - that the origins of the natural world must literally match the Genesis Creation account," the slippery snakes of the ID movement do not tell you their intention outright. The original (young earth) creationists did/do not hide this intention, but ID creationists do. Instead, ID proponents say they are looking for "signs of a designer" which may be an alien culture, a purple playdough man, or God (OK I added the purple playdough man idea myself). Why don't we add the Flying Spaghetti Monster to the list, too?

So my point is that they've deviously veiled their intent by claiming they are looking for signs of intelligence using probability theory and signs of "irreducible complexity" which fools their followers but not most scientists. And fortunately, not Judge Jones in the Kitzmiller vs. Dover case who ruled ID is religious-based "creationism in disguise" and not science. Hence, teaching it in schools AS SCIENCE violates the constitutional separation of church and state. Make no bones about it, the proponents of ID want to break down that wall between church and state. The Kitzmiller vs. Dover court case was a resounding victory for science, but ID proponents certainly won't stop there.

As a Christian myself, I always wonder why the IDers don't think for a moment that maybe God *isn't* on their side when he keeps giving victory after victory to the supposedly "other side"? Although God's ways are mysterious and no one can claim to fully know God's ways, God is certainly on the side of Truth (and I do believe that there is Truth), especially since in the Bible the devil is described as the "father of lies."

The extent of ID proponents' lying, hypocrisy, and deception is truly frightening. Of course, isn't it always the case that those who are most guilty of propaganda and lying will cast this stone out to the other side. Have you ever had a cheating spouse or significant other accuse you of cheating? Or lying? It's a very common psychological tool used by the lying, deceiving person or group to sidetrack attention away from themselves. ID and other creationists frequently accuse evolution advocates of propaganda. Of course discerning the truth is not all that difficult, but it requires critical thinking, deeper research and understanding the issues, motives, and truths to all these situations. Unfortunately, most people do not have time for that, so they just tend to accept whatever the group/crowd thinks that they most closely align themselves with. To our country's peril! And to that individual's detriment as well.

I plan to start working on a course, seminar and workshop series that will help people decipher the real story from propaganda, and to discern lies versus truth. Are you being duped? Find out how to find out for yourself! Details coming soon.

I'd support having the "controversy" taught in schools, BUT it should be done in a social studies, religion, or cultural studies course and absolutely NOT in a science classroom!

Expelled: The Intelligent Design movie

Cross-posted from my Fish Wars Blog and also at The Daily Kos.

The whole problem with intelligent design is that its proponents like to say it is science, and that the status quo of scientists are not allowing this new concept to be introduced into science classrooms, from some sort of discrimination or something. It's a reasonable enough sounding argument, and the premise of the new documentary "Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed." And the makers of this film want people to see this movie so badly that they're offering to pay schools and churches $5 per student to see it. I first read about this on The Daily Irrelevant and The Bad Idea Blog.

What intelligent design proponents - in the movie and elsewhere - don't tell you is that science and scientists do not have PR campaigns. They don't have to pay money to people to accept scientific theories and facts. They quietly go about their work in the halls of academia, in the laboratory, using computer models, in the field doing experiments, publishing results in scientific peer-reviewed journals. This is how science works. Scientific ideas don't need a PR campaign, films, and money to promote themselves. They MAY use these techniques as teaching tools, but that is generally after a scientific concept is well established.

Intelligent design is not well-established, and despite what the film may tell people, it's not being expelled. It doesn't have enough data or studies behind it to be put into textbooks. In fact, it's not even science. Somehow we as a society seem to have forgotten what science even is. This shall not do! Science revolutionized the way people thought, paving the way for the amazing scientific and technological advances since then - germ theory, vaccines, antibiotics, traveling to the moon. The key here is that science requires scientists to throw out ideas that don't have supporting data. Every scientific hypothesis is always open to falsification - being shown to be false.

The whole problem with intelligent design as "science" is that the concept has a predefined result - that the origins of the natural world must literally match the Genesis Creation account. Science does not work if you have a pre-set conclusion! No, for a process or idea to be science, those testing the premise have to be able to throw out the hypothesis if the data doesn't fit. Intelligent design is not willing to do that. Because that would mean they are saying, nope, we're wrong. God didn't create the world. At least that is what they fear it means.

People that promote intelligent design KNOW that there is a God who created the universe. And I, myself a Christian, believe that they're right. But that doesn't make intelligent design right. Because ID does not even provide a proper mechanism, or method, through which the universe came into existence other than "God did it," (technically, their terminology is that the world has "irreducible complexity" that could not possibly have been created by anything other than an intelligent designer).

However, evolution by means of natural selection has amazing explanatory power in terms of how the world could have gone from single-celled organisms to complex beings, even human beings. There's no scientific controversy over evolution. There is ONLY a social, religious and cultural controversy.

Another problem with intelligent design proponents is this - very few people who follow it have ever taken a college Biology class in which they learned about evolution and its evidence. Instead they learn about evolution from those attacking it, in the churches and by the "professional creationists" who make money by selling books and making movies to promote their views. And now if you will excuse me, I need to go worship my Noodly master. Ramen!

reading 8 books at a time?

My Facebook profile says I'm reading 8 books, which is true. Sort of. I have my NIV Study Bible there, which I read regularly. I got Beth Moore's devotional Jesus: 90 Days with the One & Only for Christmas and I'm reading/doing that for the next 90 days. Then I have The Snow Leopard, which I started reading in Nepal because it's set there. It's a great book but a bit dense and I got a bit bored toward the end. I've got about 1/8 left and every night if I try to read it, I fall asleep after about a page. At least I don't have insomnia any more! ;) I started listening to Water for Elephants on audio-book (I listen when I go running) but I got it from the library and someone else had requested it, so I had to return the darn thing. So I'm about 2 discs in and have requested it again.

While waiting to get that back again, I started listening to The Highest Tide which is a nature writing type book based in the Pacific NW. My cousin got it for me for Christmas, and I'm really enjoying it. I'm also reading A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens to Sam at night. It's a pretty long and dense book, but although I adore and love my kids' school, I felt like my kids need to get a bit more of the classics. I admit I didn't read any Dickens (that I remember) in school, but I am actually enjoying it. I took them to see an Oliver Twist play a couple years ago and they really liked that. I'm reading The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron along with several girlfriends. We're doing a chapter per 2 weeks so that will take a little while. And I just picked up Ghandi's Autobiography: My Experiments With Truth. So there.

It seems my writer's block has cleared a little bit. I finished a draft of my Nepal article which I went to Nepal for (it's taken me this long to take a look at all the stuff again and get the motivation to write it). But it came out pretty quickly, and I like it. I have several articles to finish this weekend, so it's like a writing marathon! It's going to freeze tonight... brrr.... wish it would snow HERE instead of just the "southeast"!!

some silly pics

Daline and I got a little silly when she was visiting! We decided we'd have a fashion show, so to speak, and (attempted to) pose like models in the magazines on my coffee table. Well in a sort of mockery sort of way. ;) Savannah took the photos. Well she did after I got mad at the little turkey for just taking photos of our feet instead! (on purpose).

This one just cracks me up because it looks a little, well, funny!

Treehuggers We Are!

My daughter got braces today. Ah, I do not miss those days... I had the works - braces, headgear, and all that dorky stuff. Fortunately they don't much use headgear anymore. Poor girl, her mouth is now sore... she went to bed early. It usually only hurts the first couple days, and tehn when they tighten them again every 6 weeks.

I haven't posted much because I haven't had much to say. It's funny, because sometimes I just have so much to say I have to write and get it out. But lately it's a dry well. This is in my actual journal as well. And when I'm writing articles. I'm not feeling all that inspired and I have to figure out how to fill the well back up again. I'm just not quite sure.

Oh! I do have some good news. Today, I sent off my book contract to my agent for Losing My Religion, my memoir/book about making peace between evolution and Christianity. Yea! It got accepted before the holidays but it took this long to get the darn contract! The publishing world goes on holiday over the holidays... so now I will begin working on it in the next year. I'm excited, and a bit nervous. It's a big task. I'll need to get inspired! Any ideas?

I am losing my mind!!!

Well never mind that my blog has been invaded my my darling daughter (see post below). I am somehow unable to form the proper words for things! This has been an ongoing phenomenon for about the past 5 years (or maybe 13 since my daughter was born! But honestly it certainly has gotten worse, really worse!) I keep telling my kids to put the laundry in the dishwasher or take the dishes out of the dryer, or, just now, I said "Savie, will you go transfer the water" - what the heck?! I meant to transfer the laundry to the dryer. (So she laughed and went and took a cup and started taking cupfulls of water from the bathroom sink and depositing them all over the house!) Savie reminded me that I often tell them to put things in the fridge that don't go in the fridge, like toys and such. One time I said "Sam you need to dump your milk in the fridge right now, or put it away in the sink." And just a few minutes ago when I was playing Foosball with Sam (which I totally stink at) upon getting a goal, I started dancing around and singing, "I'm so happy for my pants!" to the tune of Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy...for my ....whatever" but we busted out laughing and it's now our new theme song. I'm so happy for my pants! So happy!

Anyway I'm suffering from serious writer's block since I got back from Nepal. It's just fine when I'm blogging but when it comes to writing an article on deadline, I'm just stuck. It is awful. I'm trying really hard but just keep wanting to do nothing. I'm lethargic. I'm apathetic! I want to do something different... I think that writing has become a chore because I'm doing it for a living and all the associated stresses of a "job" - I need to make it a joy again.

Krazy Katz

You know, I have no idea what Krazy Katz are. I know what a crazy cat is, but not a Krazy Kat. By the way, this isn't Wendee. This is her daughter. I think her blog should be more pink and frilly. Like the thongs (a.k.a. butt floss) she wears. And the underwear she has on her head right now. My mom is a crazy, tree-smooching, environmental lunatic! She can eat A WHOLE carton of ice cream in one afternoon. And she always eats my ice cream, not hers. Ybay ethay ayway, Iay ovelay enguinpays! Enguinpays! Enguinpays! Enguinpays! Enguinpays means penguins for those crazy people who don't know pig latin. Okay, I'm done.

Ciao, Savie H: )

P.S. Please post LOTS of comments ; )