life is mystery, love is a mystery. the past two weeks have been a trip. i find closure on a past relationship that ended on a very bad note - i found that i had not forgiven the grave injustices and so i made a conscious effort to do so, in communication with the person. i realized at first how angry i still was, which was rooted in unforgiveness. i prayed and gave that over to god, offering forgiveness. yet trust is not there and never will be. it had been over a year since the end of that relationship, and i had not dated anyone since. i think that in retrospect my unforgiveness perhaps was blocking me from receiving love in other venues. forgiveness was something i needed to grant and i didn't even realize it. at the same time an old love came into my life in the same week. this is a person whom we left on good terms and just lost touch. nearly twenty years and yet the same connection surfaces, the same relaxed natural bond and friendship. weird. good. life is crazy/beautiful. no matter what life has in store it just seems like some cosmic blockage has been removed and i will value this friendship deeply.ps i borrowed the thornton wilder quote from my friend wendee's blog, the digital fridge door... cool name she has, no?
1 comment:
Again and again,, when I let something or someone bad go, fully go, something new and good comes in to fill that space. How does this happen? I don't know, but it's part of my faith in the universe, life's wonderful spontaneous balancing act, knowledge of which helps me get through uncertain times.
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