Saturday, May 31, 2008

exposed

After reading Emily Gould's long piece in the New York Times Magazine, Exposed, I pondered the wisdom of talking about my personal personal life here, my relationships and such, and I decided it would go underground so there you have it.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Smart move. I've never agreed with sharing personal information on the internet or any public forum. Why? Because personal experiences are meant to be kept private to preserve the integrity of the people involved. ESPECIALLY if the people involved don't appreciate you sharing information about them on the World Wide Web. Emily talks about her "right" to express herself but often did so without ANY consideration for someone's else's feelings about sharing. The result? Broken Trust. Those personal, intense experiences shared between two people are devalued and not private any longer. I also completely disagree with a negative/complaining post about someone else. If you have a problem with someone, talk to them face to face and don't post your feelings and or complaints about these people for the entire world to read. Whether it is true or not, it seems that these types of posts are made public so that one may feel vindicated with comments from stangers. The other person is not able to defend his/herself and even IF this happens, it can become a PUBLIC battle rather than something private to be worked out between two people. So, be careful about what you write so as not to hurt others.
This are just my thoughts on the matter.

WENDEE HOLTCAMP said...

I agree and disagree with that. I have no qualms with sharing the parts of my own personal life that I choose to, but that is me, myself and no one else. I share my own weaknesses and foibles and issues of the past because I truly believe "that which is the most personal is the most universal" - that is advice given to writers. Any time I've shared anything about another person situation I share only my reaction TO that person or situation and veil everything about the person so no one reading would ever know who I am talking about. (except maybe the person involved - and at that stage, I don't care and think they maybe can learn something from what i say... though i am VERY careful never ever to say someone's name or location if it were a negative situation i'm commenting on. by the time it gets on my blog, i've ended the relationship with that person and have tried to talk to them about it to no avail).

So this was different because it's a new relationship and his name is here etc. So... I kept the blog with the initial photos there, and of course our time spent together, and the rest... is underground :)

vlk40 said...

I came across your blog through another blog, and I love it! I don't know you, but I like what you write about and the things that you share- it always gives me something to think about. I also think that your new relationship is very beautiful and I was amazed by all the things (signs) that you shared, that brought you both together- things that you have in common. I don't believe that it was just a coincidence that the two of you met- I think you met for a reason!! I wish you both much happiness. :)

WENDEE HOLTCAMP said...

thanks vlk40! The signs are a mystery to me at times especially given what we have to overcome to make it work. whatever happens, there are certainly lessons to be learned from one another! glad you like the blog :)

Melanie said...

I found that to be an incredibly interesting article. I too had a notebook in high school, and got my comeuppance when our "archenemies" stole the notebook from us and thus had access to all of the nasty things that we'd said about them. I've never gotten over that. I do talk about my husband on my blog, but I keep any personal issues out of it; I also don't talk about my job very much (because it's a fireable offense also). I will tell you, though, I don't enjoy your blog because of what you've recently aired about your new relationship (although I am happy for you, most definitely). I mostly enjoy your discussions about the craft of writing and about your views on the environment/religion. It's been helpful to see that there's someone out there to whom I think similarly, but who doesn't have any qualms about her own Christianity. Coming from the very very conservative background that I do, I find myself constantly questioning my beliefs and opinions when they don't shore up with the status quo around here. Your blog has been a way for me to see that there's someone else out there who's not a fundamentalist whom I would never doubt their faith. I hope you keep blogging about those things and about your adventures. They have inspired me to seek adventures of my own, and that's made a pretty big difference in my life...ask my husband.

WENDEE HOLTCAMP said...

Melanie - i think you will probably not notice much difference in the blog from the past to now and how i continue. I plan to continue to talk about everything i have until now, but whatever i talk about will be veiled more just as it always was in the past. So i may talk about love in general or my views on it, or communication issues, and how Scott Peck my "guru" (ha!) talks about this or that, or other aticles or docos or thoughts or whatever else is on my mind! It really will just continue on as always :) And I'm so happy to hear that it has inspired you to live an adventurous life! Many friends have told me they live vicariously through my adventures and I'm like go have your adventures too! :) Life is short. I just want it to be full. And it is. If I died today, I would not have any regrets (I mean, I'd have "regrets" about things i may have said or done... we all do... but I mean I feel i've done so many cool things and there's nothing "big" that if i died before it happened, i would feel bad about). knock on wood here... there's lots of things i WANT to do before i die, but nothing i feel i HAVE to do! Does that make any sense, the ramblingness of it all has my head in a spin! :)